so the first couple hrs of work were hell. my eyes hurt, i was easily annoyed, we were busy as fuck...
basically suckage and slowness til after i got to eat lunch.

oh. and this dude answered my question today. he was seeing my mad skillz with punching in the produce codes, and he asked
"how long did it take to memorize those?"...
my usual answer: "ehhh. a couple months"
he was confused.. so he asked... "hmm.. but arent you knew, i dont recognize you"
so yeah.. i guess shoppers do get to know their local store employees. youd think then that the employees would then know their fellow co-workers (still bitter)

trip: people barely know about wrestling...
hmm.. i know you dont mean me.
where did i get this vast knowledge of the on-going saga that puts any soap opera to shame? or something.
well. dates back to back in the day....
all the moms of my sisters group of friends got to be pretty tight after a couple of years of us kids being in elementary school... so every now and then theyd have a girls night out or whatever... so this meant dad would have to take care of me and my sister...
so my dad, the pimp, what does he do? well. he doesnt like to be normal, so we'd go out to penguins frozen yogurt for dinner, then have hamburgers for dessert. and other than eating, what would we do to pass the time? yes.. go to the local video store and rent, rent, RENT every goddamn WWF payperview we could find.
from hulk vs. andre and Zeus (D-vo from Friday) to the newest and best (vintage undertaker =)
so yeah. we'd do this the whole day... my sister was pretty into it too. she knows all the old guys...
i wish her and my dad coulda seen that old wrestler battle royal from that last wrestlemania. those guys ruled...

alright.. my bad. enough of wrestling....
umm.. less than 8 hrs of sleep in 72 hrs makes boB something something.

ok. what is it with ballard? like 5% of the people that come through my line have had a lazy eye...
initially it was just weird... now its disturbing.... do they all flock to norgieland?

Ragazzi is on its way!! =D

goddamn!
so we went to good ol' kirkland fred meyer today so dan could get a game for his gameboy advance.
he goes to pay, and to the chic ringing him up in home electronics, im like "could you give me my discount"
shes like.. "do you work here? ive never seen you"
WTF?! ok, for one, shes been there months.. enough to know most everyone.. ive seen her around... but she doesnt believe that i work there... so im like... "hmmm.. how bout you ask any one of those people at the checkstands if i work here..."
so then she finally asked another guy from home electronics.. i dont know his name, but i know him... and luckily he had the same thing goin on... so we got the discount.. but geezus.. ive been there two years and people dont know me?! i hate you all. (all the people i work with and havent ever "seen me around". die.
why is she so against giving a whole 10% discount anyway?
ya know, ive herd that at the cashiers discretion (sp?) theyre allowed to give 10% discount on anything that looks a bit shat.
dah. i hate being unknown, but i hate everyones attention. (most of the time....)

we actually hung out with keith. and apparently him and susie dont realize theyre in public sometimes =P
but it was cool. we bought and lost a frisbee in like 10 mins. air! woot! =D
and we were too lazy to walk to get ice cream that i didnt even want, so we left.
free pizza from chris. yes! almost as good as free daily blimpies was.
but yeh. running into alexis at work takes the cake.
i guess i should call her sometime.....
she gave me her #, after all.
thats too weird, that i had just talked to this other chic at work like two days before and she asked me if i had talked to alexis at all...

holy shit. i thought i worked later in the afternoon tomorrow....
i work at 9. with about 4 - 5 hrs of sleep last night, and an only 5 hrs possible tonight..
i'll be ... um. yeah... shit. im fucked. in the ass. repeatedly.
dammit.
but its a 40 hr week... first time since.... i dropped outta school...
the last time i saw alexis.. heh.

weird happenings today at work.
first off. starting work at 7 sux. i never knew how many people eat doughnuts.
personally, i dont like em, but whatever... ick.. pastries.

but yeah. so i was in express for maybe 2 thirds of the time. i had this mom ask me if i used to work at the freds in kirkland. cuz she lives over there... now wait. hold on. see, i only shop where i work, but do people actually get to recognize who works at the store and can pick them out elsewhere? i think i could only do it if it were a hot chic... and since im not.. .. im at a loss. thats too weird though.
maybe she recognized me from my speed.. heh.. or something...

k.. the other weirdness.. i was 10 mins late getting off.. (overtime, wo0t!) and i was walking to clock out. im walking behind someone.. they kinda look familiar. so i catch up and scare the shit outta them.. but it was alexis. this chic i really didnt go out with, but hung out with a lot back when i first started working at freds.. i havent seen her in like a year or so...
whats she doing in ballard? her good friend lives over there and made her come visit. totally weird that i ran into them... so i hung out with them shopping for a bit, and saved them 5 bucks with my discount.

but yeah.. then shes just like "here", and gets a pen and finds a coupon and writes her # down. i didnt even ask for it or mention it...
crazyness... she does have a boyfriend, but that doesnt really matter.. i wasnt looking for that anyway.... but shit. what a coincidence.
air sed that i had just blogged about her... i forgot what i sed. guess i'll look.

oh yeah.. and i randomly remembered how to spell clique during my lunch hour today... weird how that works.

heh. i have a framed Mr. T pic my mom gave me...
it makes me want to randomly say "i pity da foo!"
hes so cool. i had an action figure of him back in the day.. i wonder what happened to him.
gold chains, feather earrings, funky mohawk, and all.

heres to less than 4 hrs of sleep...
Wo0t.

.....why am i so dumb.....

yes! i have a computer again!
how nice to not bother people by finding time to get up in their shit.
dan lives up to his name... "the man"

so this is exciting. i can blog, play games, or chat any time.
i missed it, and it was only a couple days...

im at a loss for bloggedness today.
maybe tomorrow something at work will come up.
we got the pools prepped. all they need are bodies!! and a little sun...

this "going to school" thing is the best ever!
i get off when everyone else does.. i get to play ANd sleep in!
sept tomorrow =P
but whatever. its the weekend. no complaints here.

my fish arent choking in shat-brown water, and the sticky countertop is finally gone.
i feel productive for once.

alright. i think i'll go up and bug (booted) wank a bit. hehe.
the poor boys so paranoid. he freaked out when i saw him grab his bag o' chips...
funny.
night yall.
i love my piece of shit... no more beatings for you..
caressing and loving. stroke, stroke.
....we're talking my computer, right?

hot chic day at worK!
good times.

nothing really to blog about today.
i got dan a gameboy advance.
shitty that its got no games though...
im also now registered on dans comp...
mr. T's my icon... he rules.

long day at work tomorrow. i'll enjoy the weekend.
ya know.. why do i post the shit like i did yesterday?
who knows.

makin like a fetus......

living alone makes mel a blogger =)

dammit.
first wank with his public shitlessness, and now manuel.

since i can remember, ive always noticed that i kinda just fit in because i act how the other people do... i mimic them, in effect.
i guess thats why people like me... im really not a threat.. non-conflictive... i act as other people do. within my different "clics"
shit. i suddenly forgot how to spell that. you ever do that? i think it has an H in it. or am i just dumb?
anyway..... i mimic.
with shanker: i'd be kooky, smartassitive, beavis and buttheadish.
with kiris: passive, non-resistive, let her call the shots (she likes that)
with josh: im one of the most perverted fucks you'll ever come by.
with amidy: i speak her language (although its strangely addictive)
theres hellza more, but not as pronounced.
but in general im a quiet little bitch til i get to know people, or get 2 & 3/4" of alcohol in me....
its also really hard for me when different groups meet each other.
cuz you dont know if they'll clash or go together well. cuz i fit in with such different types of people.
it was hard when i brought alexis around, or even when shanker interacted with my present posse,
and also when they all came down to cali for a spring break road trip.
i get quiet. i guess i dont know how to act, how to be comfortable when my personalities that i would exude clash.

so with this realization came the dilema...
who the fuck am i really?
which am i? ... i cant be all can i?
maybe i am who i am with my closest friends.
yet even with them, i act a lot different than i do with my family.
im nuch more witty, loud, quick to comment with them.
they love to have me around for entertainment... i use it to its full potential =)
good meals, the occasional load of laundry, etc... basically a lazy bitch.

but in general, im submissive, i go with the flow. so maybe that defines me.
i am all those personalities i act out. almost like a fucking game, or show.

meh. im always like. "damn, manuel posts so damn much!"
heh. but i dont have to read mine =)

dans helpin me look for a real computer.
im not sure if im ready yet.
but its only about $1100 for a pretty decent one.
i know shit about them anyway, so i wouldnt know where i'd be missing out.

arr. ive had so much pop today....
i want to be a pirate.

today was a day of favors.
picked up amidy at UW, came home, chilled for a bit.
we were supposed to go out, but i got lazy.
so i took both her and dan to schmidts or whatever... some UW thing...
sporred dan a couple $$ at wendys and dropped amidy off at her place...
came back home so air could get his cellphone, then drove out to safeco and dropped his bitch ass off...

yes... now what? the night is still young.
my computer seems to be fully shat.
feels like the weekend.
out.

ok... im bored.

anyone whos up regularly past 10,11, or 12 and also has nothing to do... let me know. would ya?
its so boring. im sure not all of you are asleep. but i dont get icq or aim anymore.
i felt old on monday.... i went to that english class, and this little scrub scout that i taught shit back in the day was now in that class. hes like what, 4 grades below me? jesus.
i never even went to the same school as him before til now. i worked with this kids dad for a little while. hes a physical therapist. i got to basically shadow him.. it was for my human physiology class.
some of that shits really cool... electoshock therapy, or whatever its called, and ultrasound feels weird, yet pleasing =) ~ ~ ~ ~

so.. kickball rules. excersize = good. two times in two weeks! wow.

i wish i had something to do....
maybe i'll go for a drive.
but with my luck, i'll get lost and die.
but im sick of the ol' computer/video games/tv routine.... its fucking summer! its nice out even at night!
yet im not one to motivate myself. i'll just sit here and not eat and die.

i guess im only complaining tonight cuz i dont have to work tomorrow, meaning i dont have a bedtime!
but shit its boring. i probably couldnt sleep if i tried.

wank was dead on in his blog. my schedules always different from everyone elses.
finally i get to play kickball twice! but yet... now?...... yeah......

ok. thats enough complaining. theres a weekend to look forward to...
k bye yall.

yeah. so dan and i were up til three saving what shit i wanted to keep from my hard drive.
he fixed the mouse, but the rest is shot.

work was only 4 hrs, yet so long. people say its a busy store, but ive yet to seen it.
so today i was just doing random shit.... i guess since we're right next to the boating docks, people goin on long-ass trips will load up at our store.
so i got to load shit up, not in bags, but in boxes, costco style. snood and tetris kept goin through my head. damn, that was some good packing.

they let me go 15 mins early.
but while there i was so bored. i cleaned up everything, there was nothing to do. i found this pushpin in a trident cinnamon gum box. i poked the fuck outta that box.
but i came to a realization. cinnamon smells like saliva. call me out if you want, but to me it does. maybe just more tart, or as more of a kick, but whatever... it seems as if you break down cinnamon, part of it will smell like spit.... my bad.

seattle driving is a lot different than suburb driving. back in kirkland, on a two lane road, i'd chill in the left lane, ya know, so all those people turning right can slow down, and i dont have to.
but now it seems that the prefered lane is the right one, cuz theres not always a free left lane, so those guys have to wait for oncoming traffic to go by to get out of everyone else's way.
everyone seems more in tune to this and will readily whip around the car holdin everyone up.

mmm.. dicks are good.
i went there today. it was about 4:30. i think that was the first time literally EVER that there was no one in line.

alright. kickball to come. wo0t!

same thing, day in day out:
trip man wank.
thanx guys

so ive reverted to using other peoples computers. shit.
my computer was busted anyway. i just helped it along.
but that pissed it off. real bad.

so. for the first time in my life, i think i can say that im dissappointed that i dont get to go to school.
even though it was a class that i really wouldnt like, but now that just means that im at BCC longer. shafted.
damn the MAN.

i went to my parents to get some bills, so i stopped by my old freds. now i seem to be tighter with some of the people there...
maybe its cuz theres no work environment for me now, and theres more to catch up on. im trying to convince a couple of them to transfer over to ballard cuz they live over here. that would rock. theres not many people over there that are my age.

ya know. i usually notice when i drive by the 85th exit. (ashleighs).. but this time. i didnt even think of it til now... hmm.
hope shes enjoying the summer sun.
since im living over here, i wanna go around green lake. but im not the type that would just up and go by myself. its a good place to just sit and watch the world go round too.

i want to turn 21.

my computers done busted.
did it myself.

i dont get to go to school.
you have one week to pay for class.
i tried after two, but was booted.
now the classes are full.
slightly pisssssd.

my shit is shat. so yo slow.
ive needed an upgrade for a while, i suppose.
but so many memories on this thing.

neways. work tomorrow. then school tomorrow. back to the fuckin grind.
people complain about working. try paying to remember shit. and having shit to do when you get home.
where you cant just forget about it til you go back the next day.
but we're young, strong.. we can bear these loads. mkay. this is getting gay.

what i really wanted to talk about was more about yesterdays topic. im sure this wont come out as well as i had hoped, but heres my shot at it:
ok. so theres this past history of biggotry and whatnot. theres still a generation thats been harshly burdened with it. but now, i think most of society doesnt really have animosity against other races, but just an unsettled of umcomfortableness with it. i dont think the problem will be easily solved.
but heres the problem: the human fucking condition. what people do is to simplify things. i mean, shit. they made a whole science out of it. taxonomy. people group things. it makes things easier to understand. and in these groupings come stereotypes.
now i dont feel im very racist (although i dont think you can be "partially racist") but at work, i have a few stereotypes for different ethnic backgrounds. they may not be true 100%, but its somewhere in the field of maybe 70. this isnt just to mock these people, but it just helps me know what to expect. here are some:
mexicans that look to be the hard-labor sort always pay in cash. usually large bills. and when they buy beer. its the mexican kind.
asian ladies, the elderly ones. they'll fight you to the last penny, but yet they'll give you every last penny in their purse to cover the bill...cuz they hate pennies.
the well-kept, white yuppy looking fuckers always use plastic.
the scraggly long-bearded bum looking guys will only come to your line with a couple of 40s.
anyone dressed shabbily with a shit-load of groceries and a couple of kids will use a EB-food stamps card.
indians (hindu) are always quiet, modest, and polite, but come with the extended family.
hot chix always avoid my line, unless i trick them, or if theyre with their boyfriend =P
white old ladies usually want to talk your ear off.
middle-aged white males who look anal, always ask for paper in plastic... mmmm. paper cuts =P
and the list goes on.....

but as you can see, some of these help me with my job. i set myself up with what i expect to happen. it makes me the 700 i/hr+ man that i am. although some of these are shattered. some of the nicest people have been the dreded, pierced, tattooed freaks. although i had a goth chic today that fit the description perfectly. all black except for the purple hair. a couple face piercings, hopefully whitened face, and i sed hello to her as she ignored me. the only interation we had was the exchange of moneys.

so yeah. here i am Animalea Chordata Vertebrata Mammalia Theria Eutheria Primate Anthropoidea Hominoidea Hominidae Homo sapien Shinabarger, Travis Jason. grouped with 6 billion other fuckers til those last 3 words.
take it as you will.

i'm all alone.....

long day...
the cool young guy from jet city improv came through my line today.
i thought he was the guy that did the kiosk commercial for redmond town center.. but i dont think so.
so i mentioned that ive seen him, and he sed he'd hope to see me there again soon.. blah blah blah..

ok. so then, with about 10 mins and counting til i bust outta that place, shit went down.
i was in the express lane all day, which is kinda cool, but boring, with a lotta down time, and not much to do in it.
but anyway. this guy probably about my age mentioned to the black couple behind them that they had more than 10 items, which is the limit for the line. oh sweet jesus....
they went off on this poor guy.
they were like "no, see all this.. this counts as one item. (which it can, cuz its multiples)
then the woman sed. "you know. you just sed that cuz we was black. if we was white you wouldnt had sed anything."
in my head. i was like "no, no, she didnt just say that. oh my god."
ok, so sure this couple being black may have been discriminated against some, or even a lot, in their lifetime, im guessing they were about 50ish, but this was definately not the case. this poor guy was just trying to be courteous to the people behind him, and these two blew up. the woman would tell the man to calm down, then she'd give the boy shit. then the man kept saying. "i was backin down, i was backin down."

luckily the kid only had one item and i got him the fuck outta there...

then its their turn... somehow this coupon (i think because it was expired) rang their liter pops up at $50 each.. and they had 5!
so when there bill was $270-some, i was like... wha?
i thought theyd be pissed... but they werent.
then after i voided that out, i had to get a manager to override it.
again, i thought they'd be pissed... but no.
so the manager came over.. a big black dood... took care of it quickly.
i just want to get these people on their way!
then they whip out their EB card (food stamps in credit card form) and do their thing.
but... it declines it... im like ... FUCK.
so instead of telling him its declined, i just say. "hey, how bout you try it again?"
luckily that worked. and they were on their way.
after that kid left, and they calmed down, they were the nicest people. strange.
weird how one little misunderstood implication brought on eternal hellfire and whatnot.
presuming that they were being discriminated against.
but its tough. im sure. but i doubt a 18 - 20 yr old kid would have it in for a middle-aged black couple.

so everyones leaving me tonight. luckily chris has nothing to do and is coming over...
no free pizza though =(
where the hell are all the rest of you?!

we went to REI, and an employee came around to ask if we needed help.
he saw my shirt and asked, "did you go to juanita?"
yup... gradgeated in '98.
he was like. oh, i graduated in '92.
then he asked. what jr high did you go to
kamiakin.
hmm. so did i.
what elementary school?
oh, i moved up from CA after 7th.
he was like.. oh, i moved up in 6th, and went to john muir.
then he asked... so you in school now?
yeah. im at BCC.
he sed yeah, i got my two year degree and got outta there.
i sed... well. i just finished my 3rd year and im not out yet.
to which he responded.... yeah. it took me 5...

fuck. im going to grow up to be that.........

i beat evil snood.
i think its time for bed.
i gotta-ho-lotta not a damn thing to do tomorrow. =)

i just realized:

i have no idea what tripat does as work.
nor do i even know where he lives.
what the hell.
i didnt even know there was a guy named max that was his roomate til the last time his band played.
hmmm...

manuel:

i was wondering why i hadnt seen you in, oh say... forever.
christines moved in!? we'll never see you again.
but hey. i cant say much. i did it. i put the rest of my world on hold so i could put everything into my relationship. into one person...
k, not saying it will, but if it falls apart, its hard to crawl back from.

on your last paragraph of 6/21 i felt you hit guys dead on. theyre simplistic, but try to mask it.
although i dont know about how you described women.
you dont think women can be mischevous? that they dont have to lie?
hmm.. they overanalyse everything. can be crafty and cleverly play out their hand.
not to say that thats all women. and also they all arent open about feelings.
just as all guys arent a closed book. it depends on the person.

but keep blogging. even though they may be horrifically long =)
they have a good message.
peace out.

goddamn insanity.

ok. i go into work, i see my big boss with the funky teeth for once, so i stop in to confirm that he knows that school starts monday.
hes like.. yeah. i know.
alright cool.
so then as i was about to leave, hes like. "so do you know any secret ways about cashiering that everyone else doesnt know about?"
naturally =P i was confused.
so he goes, " well, a good cashier does about 550 items per hour when checking, and an excellent cashier does 600 i/hr. but i saw these numbers on the report and had to look into who was cheking this fast. apparently this one day you were consistantly doing 650 to over 700 in the busy part of the day."
needless to say, i got a high-5! oh yeah!
so calm down indeed.

the other thing, this is funny. this is for manuel, kinda....
ok, so i just talked to josh today. ya know. the guy with the semi-famous sister.
well. seems as though hes coming up to seattle for the allstar game...
why? because one-time mariner alex rodriguez is interested in josh's sister and is flying the whole family up so they can watch him.
apparently hes also flown her out to texas a couple times already.
yes. fucking insanity.

ummm.. i think i just saw ryan walk into his room with my tv....
um.. yeah. i dont think thats how things work around here.
the couch is one thing, but thats another.... seriously.

im still fucking up.
holee buhjeebus.

desk: complete
furnishings: near complete.

im just sitting back and taking it all in.
i had this guy come through my line today. he was maybe a couple years older than me.
what made him different from other regular customers was that he was in a smart cart... you know those things that you ride around in that go zero miles per hour, but still have to beep when backing up... and the other thing was that this guy didnt need it.
he admited to it.... but he told me it was the best time ever that he had in experiencing shopping. just kickin back and takin it all in. takin your time, crusin around. he thought everyone would be more lax about shopping if they had one of those fuckers. so he rolled up, swiped his card and putted on out the store. heh.

i got one of the nicest coolest comments today. this lady was like. "wow. youre so fast, they should have one of you in every line".
i thought that was a pretty good compliment.

so thats work. same ol same ol. bein quick, not takin time to stop and chat... thats not always the best. i need to fucking relax. yeah its a job, but whats it hurt to have a little fun with it? meh.
enough with the work =P

all these people in the store with girl/boyfriends. i doubt i could handle it, but yet i miss it.
i blog too much. i tell too much useless shit.
who reads this anymore anyway? other than the loyal few...

i want to travel. but im scared too. i dont want to miss out on things here. ive done that in the past.
but i dont want to travel by myself.
i was talking to my parents on fathers day. i brought up how i thought it was nice how there are visitors in the house when i come home from work, and they go on to tell me that when i was little i used to need to always have someone around. very dependent on other people's company. maybe thats a younger sibling syndrome. who knows?
but theres my fear of traveling alone, and shit, dare i bring it up once more... yes =P
with ashleigh, i kinda curbed all my other friends, so i needed her around constantly... but.. thats not her thing. conflict ensued.

fuck. i wasnt even going to write anything tonight. blogging makes me feel like i nag. like i put more and more out there, and its just like pushing more and more onto someone, and they dont really like it. i shouldnt care, but alas, im insecure. i care too much about what other people think. lack of confidence. why am i doing this?.........

YS SYSEyYEssYeSYSsSYEYSyes
i passed calcuLus!! how? dunno.

ok.. so one thing oregons good for. no sales tax.
amidy got like 40 bucks off our shit just cuz shes from that......place..

other good news. i finally got the balls to call my boss....
to tell him that im taking a night class so i can only work during the day like all you other "normal" peeps.
he took it really well. that guys awesome! so i'll only be in school on mondays and wednesdays, then have the afternoons off the rest of the nights!! if i get bored i can always tell him to work me more. but im a lazy bitch. i doubt that'll happen.

the blog alliance should be reduced to 4.
thats all i gotta say about that.
ok maybe not.
all you bastards out there who have blogs yet only enjoy reading others =P
if you dont do either (read or blog) then thats cool. but still sux that i go to them and its still the same fucking post from a week ago, or at least the weekend.

neways.
kick ball = badassticles. takes one back to fucking elementary school, where pitching was a science, and everyone knew when to back up or scoot forward. yes. good times.

i got me a fucking desk and chair to fill the void in my magnaminous room (dont ask me what that means, if anything). now i wont feel guilty for taking it and being such an ass to jay. i saw that guy at the party. i guess theres no real hard feelings. although the man owes me $70 still =P
but yeah. i put together my chair, but im kinda ify on the desk. i cracked open the box, but i dont know if i want to tackle it right now. im kinda worn out from all that kuh-razy kick ballin. yes, its been a while since ive excersized.

im getting into this stage, where i see shit, i like it, and i buy it. im still really reserved, but im kinda coming out of that. is that good or bad? i wonder. maybe its just a passing phase. i dont think i'll be going out immediately and replacing my little shit box of a computer though. but thank god i dont have to sit on the fucking ground at my doorframe with my laptop on a damn stool and a stack of 50some mouse pads for my ghetto mouse, so its not totally ackward.

another part of my life everyones bored of: maegan actually initiated an AIM conversation with me a couple days ago. i told her how she stood me up, and she apologized, but that she just had so much other shit goin on. yeah. well how much time does it take to call and say "i cant make it".... huh?
also. i asked about ashleigh, if she'd talked to her since her move. maegan took that as me not yet over her. wtf? asking about her well-being is a sure-fire way to know im still stuck on her.... does she forget that during the time that we were together that she was deathly ill? what the fuck ever. im tired of it all. ashleighs too fucking stubborn. and maegan cant see my side.

but i did come to a realization: ok. so right now, im at this semi-stableness with ashleigh. (ok, this worked better in my head, try to stay with me though) but we're kinda steady, like theres still shit to be worked out, but things are ok. if contact was initiated then chaos would just to an all time high. smoothing out would be possible, to get back to stability, but it would take a lot. so overall stability might be better with contact, but would fuck things up more and create more complication, so why not just keep things at a shaky, but steady stable? ok.... so it would be better if i had a graph to show... itd be something like that outta thermodynamics, like with the enzymes and shit... yeah. and it would also help if there was a better word than stability, but i dont know what that is.

anyone that understood that, i bow to you.
but now, i gots me a desk to assemble.

so i was the break bitch at work today.
kinda cool. mixes things up. you move around every 10 - 30 mins depending on what kinda break youre giving.
makes the time go by faster.

manuel - dont talk shit about my long-haired boob-ed josh! i'll kill you =P
wank - copy yo shit before you post... its saved my ass many a time.
matt - i went forth and bought a rubber ball. RAGGAZI is owed!
air - ha! to quote from big lebowski "you do not fuck wit de jesus". black eye? thats right!
dan - its cool to not have to be on a computer to watch conan with you.
b - fuckin KICK BZALL!!! its on!
mel - heh. you have no toofses.
po - whats this yak shit?
trip - bling * bling *
lea, ashley - i have a water bed =D
ryan (x) - you jacked the kitchen chair. but you have a hub, so youre good.
amidy - we have ikea, but peewee doesnt!
dork - what do you = ?
me - you like cocks? wha?

wank and i were reading the seattle times that for some reason gets sent here.
in it, it had a little blurb on how "doh" has been made a recent new entry to the Oxford English Dictionary.
Doh - expressing frustration at the realization that things have turned out badly as planned or that one has just said or done something foolish. Also implying that another person has said or some something foolish.

other new entries are cyberporn and mullet =)

must blog before work.
so hey. i think you guys may have herd of josh before. hes my good friend from westmont. he brought us the words cack and weaksauce...one perverted fuck.
i love him.

so yeah. heres whats goin on in his fam: joy enriquez is his sister.
im sure most of you havent herd of her, but shes starting to get around. i was watching tv with ashleighs sister a while back, and she was singing for summer break on nickelodean. ok, not the best gig, but she also got a song on the movie anna and the king, with jodie foster, and i believe chow young phat, or however you spell it. and. just recently i saw her on Mtv2. crazy shit. shes hot, but she looks like josh but with long hair and boobs. so yeah. umm weird. oh well, josh is hot. i slept with him once. =D 69 style even.

yeah. so josh thinks nothing of it, i think im more stoked about it. cuz look at all the people shes met!
but anyway, i think, at least in the original stages, he was doing her website.
i was hearing about her before she was getting big...
ok, so shes not big now, cuz shes not a household name, but shes getting out there.

just a bit more:

i stopped for gas today.... this scraggly, bum looking dude and i crossed paths at the gas station door.
he told me he just herd that if all cops were on acid, thered be less homocides.
all i could respond to that was a "hmmmm.."
his response: "that makes me want to go get another beer."
it was 8 in the morning.

air! theres hope for you yet! this guy came through my line today. but not just any guy. he was wearing a kilt.
and not just any kilt. this kilt was made out of the same shit that your work pants are made of!!!!
if you can get your hands on those, yer on your way to being a scottish construction worker!!
now we just have to work on that lesbian shit.
i shoulda asked him where he got them.

so yeah. not much in the blogging mood, but here goes:

air was funny.
yeah. i kicked him in the eye. my bad.
although i thought i hit the top of his eye.
but then he kept pouncing on me, when i was in my "knees to the chest, protection mode",
and his eye would hit my knee. and his drunken ass would be like "quit kneeing me!" heh.
silly air. but its probably my bad anway. so yeah... my bad. stupid redundancies.

um. so ballards kinda cool. farther from my house than i'd like but still, cool.
theres a lot more freaks over there. ya know.. a lot more pierced noses, labres, eyebrows, lips, etc.
i really like those earloop things too. like those brazilian dudes do. where they spread out the earlobe, so theres a hole. thats cool.
also, tattoos galore, and dreds, or even just long ass hair with a long ass beard. like the caddy from happy gilmore.
its fun. its lively. they play better music there too. kinda the mellow alternative. like 106.1 maybe? anything from green day to britney and backdoor to boy george and all those other 80s songs. back in kirkland its your choice of either oldies or elevator music =P

so im still getting used to their new ways, and the hella far away break room, but all is good. i hope they dont get too pissed when i tell them i cant work nights anymore. since thats what they were looking for with me.

as for the house. its cool to fill in the x, but now theres an issue with internet hookup. i guess all we'll need is a hub though.
but i like it. i come home to people visiting. that was hardly ever the case on the eastside. so i like it.

yup. enuff outta me. later yall.
oh wait. manuel, i drove by your fucking place on my way home today. it was one of the fastest times ive ever had getting home (since somehow i end up taking a different route home everytime)_so. since buses dont frequent the area, you could um. get a ride from me. s'all cool though.
out.

17.5 hrs of work in 28 hrs = not fun.
they decided to be nice and not work me an extra half hr (or else theyd be obligated to pay me overtime =P)
but yeah. back in kirkland, hot chic day was sunday. but i think over there its saturday.
so many more younger people in ballard than kirkland too. its nice.
there are those really old people, but generally theyre nice =)

partied last night.. kinda. well.... i got drunk off like 2 and a half beers. heh. weaksauce. i know.
ok. well. fathers day dinner. i'll blog more later.

mkay. that shit was gay. my bad.

um. so dan was telling me i was cocky when chris brought up his opinion that foosball is pure luck.
yet he wont play me =P
but i sed yeah, maybe outta 50 people, one or two would beat me.
yeah. thats when dan called me out.
but the thing is. since leaving westmont, i cant remember losing.
even when kevin would come over and switched the rules on me.....
you take a shot evertime you score, and try can only play with one arm.
heheh.
maybe i have lost. probably have.
but whatever. im just that damn good. hehe.
seriously. thats all i learned at westmont.
they wouldnt let us learn about these new things called girls =P
only on chapel days when they had just crammed purity into your conscience and are assured you would do no wrong =P
then tuesday and thursday came, and no NO nO NO. no girls at all.
hehe. they gave out work hrs if you got caught in the opposite sex's room during closed hrs. they would double everytime you got them. i think i got....63 =)
yet i got away with only doing 13 =D
so yeah. needless to say. foosball was life.
the traditional after dinner games! ah yes.
purity of old.

seems as though matts been booted from the alliance of blog.
matt. you are the weakest link. goodbye!

hmm.. so my sister called. sed my parents had some things to tell me.

1)i was going to be supoeaned (sp?) for this civil trial dealing with this kid in the boy scouts over molestation or "bad touching" or something to that sort.
this kid thats being charged we called fruitcake back in high school. he became an eagle scout, but was the worst example of one. people joke that my parents did my project for me. which all my dad did was move it when i was off to college, so think what you will, but this kids dad did it all. so they were going to supoeana or whatever me today at 4:30, along with my dad, but i guess the two families settled. for what? we dont know. im just glad i dont have to deal with it. we always joked that this kid didnt go to philmont because he got pregnant (hehe) but actually, years later, we find out it was because of this. damn. we were pretty close to the truth.

2)einstein. our gray, soft cat hasnt been doing so well lately. hes lost a lot of weight. and when you pet him its just pointy bones jutting through. very sad. the doctors didnt know what was wrong. possibly IBS but thats treatable. i guess he didnt have that. so he went along, the past month or so losing an ounce or so a day... too bad thats like you or me losing a pound a day.
so i spent some quality time with him last night. good thing.
my parents sed that they took him in today to be put to sleep.
he was doing a "death purr" or something, so the doctors sed.
i dont know if i would have liked to be present, but with every animal that we've had put to sleep, ive always been away.
boo boo i was at summer camp. i think i was in college for bear. hmm.
its sad. theyre part of the family. its hard losing them, even if i hadnt seen them much lately..
but. as always, keep on going. i have to try to push it back and not think about it as im now off to work.
hope to see all you guys at the party when im finally done.
cheer me up some, eh?
school definately didnt.

fuXOrs.
mediOcrity tO the max.
2 finals in 4 hrs makes bOb sOmething sOmething.
dOnt mind if i dO!!!

wOrk cOmes at 7 =P

i hate how my schedule is always different from everyone elses....
see how im the only one still in school!!!

i got 4 compliments at work yesterday on how fast i was.....
every new employee that i met yesterday would ask:
are you a transfer? they usually dont put new people in register 1.
...cuz its gets the most traffic.

as i was there the whole fucking night =P

my chest has been cracking a lot lately. actually an insanely large amount of a lot.
i dont think thats very good; kinda hurts too.
its been 3 and a half years since the incident, and im glad the doctors have finally moved from there initial stance
"theres nothing wrong with it" to "theres nothing we can do now".
fuckers. hate those guys. theyre the biggest bunch of sucks that ever did suck.
i might need more booby rubs.
suck.

ah well. study time.
we get a pool table today! just in time for the par-tay =)

i dont get it. i read over my notes at 2 this morning, after finding my new mouse and playing snoods for a little longer than anticipated, and i went in to take my final, with what i thought was knowing nothing. but when the pen hit the paper, it was all over. spelled everything out to the T. lea was asking about anti-realism... i know it now.
but wtf? how? good short term memory? i guess sleeping on things is the best thing for me. but ask me what it was on in about a week, and i'd remember learning it, and it'd be on the tip of my tongue, but id come up with nothing.
unluckily, i dont think i can slide by in calc and o chem the same way. its too hard to cram in two subjects in one night.

mel: hmm. how many times have i been confronted like that? yeah. would i have loved to stop all them in their tracks by just uttering
"im jewish"
hah! would they try to convert you then? or have an odd respect for the older religion.
hmmm.
but ive never really been confronted at work before. although i had this old lady give me a leaflet on how you dont make excuse to go out and play sports, so why make excuses to go to church?
um. cuz thats sleepy time, grandma!!!
k. i could go on forever.
i quit now.

today was fun.
although the rest of the week, will not.
but after this week...
ahhh yes.

so i thought cable was supposed to be faster than DSL.
did i get the slow as fuck end of the cable?
my laptop, internal mouse thing is also broken and pissing me off.
i'll type, it'll highlight what i've typed, then i'll type over that.
bastard thing. usually smacking things does the trick.
maybe i've done it one too many times =)

i need a fucking desk...
starting with the studying =)
night yall.

leavin on a jet plane,
i dunno when i'll be back again.

thats ashleighs tune for today. shes headed off for hawaii.
i never got to say goodbye. but why say goodbye right when shes leaving?
let things heal before you do anything dumb.

so... yeah. all i wish is for her to have a safe flight and good time.
i still cant fathom why she'd want to live with her father.
shes told me all these stories that make him out to look like a dick.
hopefully her being much older this time around will help things out.

so i think its about time to stop mentioning her.
i cant guarantee that there wont be any relapses if i talk to/ see maegan.
but 4 months? yeah. my bad.
although a month of that was her neglecting to tell me that we were actually broken up.
whatever.
im not bitter.
im pretty sure neither of us would consider a relationship again, but that doesnt mean i dont want friends.
shes fun when shes not overly annoyed at you.......

mkay. studytime.
finals are finally fucking here.

so theres a couple new things to get used to at work, but all in all, its the same....
...although in transferring, these guys expected me to know everything about their store...
which isnt possible...

such as. i come into work. theyre like.. ok.. clock in...
ummm. how? do i get a time card?
oh.. well. uh. just sign in here.. i guess...

then after working a couple hrs..
ok.. you can go on break now...
ok.. ummm.. wheres the break room?
oh.. its down in the by the mens big and tall section in the corner and through the doors.
so i get there and theres a hall of doors.. i eventually stumble onto it...

then as i go to leave, i head out through the main doors, and the guys stop me...
oh... you parked out there?
yeah..
oh. well you need to park over on the other side of the store.
didnt somebody show you?
uh.. no.
oh. well the number to get in is *** just park over there next time
mkay (fags)

yeah. so another thing, is i think theres just this anamoly in ballard.
its just happens that everyone there is the slowest fucking worker.
i stopped by mickeyDs before work, cuz i hadnt eaten all day
(dont worry, it wont be habitual) and i waited over twenty minutes for 4 people infront of me to be helped.
the guy in front of me was like, i dont want mustard.
so the cashier kid was like.. ok.. say that again... he did that like 3 times. wtf?
alright.
so other than that work was good. the people were friendly, its a new environment..
s'all good. night folks.

and im a dumbass.
fathers day is next sunday.
i was wondering why no one else was making a fuss.

yeah. but to give significance to yesterday: it was my hire date two years ago to freddys..
geez...

im kinda depressed.
its not even about what didnt happen yesterday. i think its cuz i didnt do a damn thing yesterday for fathers day.
on mothers day, i went out, got shit, etc. made an appearance, whatever... but yesterday.. nothing... no call, no card, nothing.
i dont really support those two "holidays", but it doesnt mean that that shit is still expected of me; to show my gratitude.

i found school today!!! this is a big thing for me. not getting lost on a first try =)
well.. i can truely say that 5 is a much more happening drive than 405. there so many cool bridges and whatnot. and of course you get to go over the water... i thought i almost blew it coming home, but i found my way. dead on!

so. fred meyers can suck my balls. i know i can never make my own schedule, but can they work with me here?! its fucking finals week. they can ram sticks up my ass all summer if they choose to! i asked that during school if i could only work 20 max. theyre like.. "yeah, sure" i find my schedule yesterday, and im working just under 23 hrs.... so thats not far off, but then it just gets shitty from there.. then they feel, oh, maybe since 23 is ok, we can up it a little bit.. 25 you think? hmmm. sounds good.
then it gets to the point where they feel that 25 was my max amount of hrs, and im fucked. so im going to go in today for my first day there and act like an ass, pushing them to get rid of at least some of those excess hrs....

...so yeah. now im home.... home. home......hOme.
i need a fucking desk.

i found my work..... indirectly....

and yup.
maegan never called. =P

blizog.
i have to find my work today.

will maegan call?
try again.
will maegan call?
all signs point to no.

hmm.

i do it to myself:
i called maegans cell phone. she was over at ashleigh's waiting for her to go on break from work.
maegan cant see me tonight, but will hopefully stop by tomorrow in the afternoon.
i told her to say hi to ashleighs family for me, and bye to ashleigh if she wanted it.
maegan's reply. "oh yeah. just definately don't call though."
so im guessing theyve had a little talk and ashleigh's shared how she felt about me.
the thing is. yeah it hurts, but im getting along fine without her in my life.
i just kinda let it hang on... being hopeful, i guess.
i guess im a nice guy. i dunno.
but my theory on that, is like with humility....
for one to say that they, themselves, are humble, they actually aren't.
its not something you say about yourself. its something others say about you....
....if that's how the case may be.
tripat: case in point.
thank you. goodnight.

so pretty much everyone was there last night.
pretty sweet. trip, you rock.

um. took my first shower in my new house. i had to figure out that cold was hot and hot was cold.
im supposed to meet up with maegan tonight.... so far she hasnt called, but she knows im not done with work til 9.
she sed that she'd call me since she doesnt know where she might be.

so. i thought i moved most of my stuff, but as everyone knows... you have more shit than you realize when you start moving.
so ive got another load when i head back to my place after my LAST NIGHT at freddys in kirkland.
it'll be sad. i wonder if anyone will say anything. its also kinda exciting too. cuz now other than my parents, i have no ties to the eastside. shit. well. BCC doesnt count. i guess i just mean kirkland then.
oh wait. theres keith. heh.... as i havent seen him since we saw pearl harbor.

so yeah. boss. air found a couch.
now we can accomadate more visitors =)

mkay. workeybot.

i evaluated both my calc prof and phil of science prof.
the calc guy didnt do so bad at all.
but phil of sci.. yeah.. ive never given a dissatisfied before til now.
he had no set schedule and never really told what he wanted til maybe the day before.
not good.

so i was watching leno last night. and i dont get it.
kevin eubanks, lenos guitarist didnt know what a corndog was.. so in the game of the lakers vs the sixers, if the sixers lost, kevin would have to eat a corndog. so leno sends out this chic was an annoying fren drescher-ish laugh, to ask b-ball players about this corndog thing... the only thing is... like amad rashad, or whatever his name is, and the owner of the sixers, and a couple other basketball players dont know what a corndog is?!?! what the fuck?! is it like ghetto food, so none of these guys know what it is?
when i drove home today, theyre having a little retarded fair in the totem lake mall parking lot. they have this food area, and on a big sign it sez corndogs.. so all those guys would drive by and go "wtf?"
maybe its just a west coast thing or something.. although you'd think that eubanks has lived over here for enough time to know what it is...
k. my bad. a rant on corndogs?

good vs. bad.
today i get to work and they tell me im the back up PIC (person in charge)...
cool whatever. so i get to be in charge of the money and whatnot, and be totally in charge when the main person goes on lunch or break. so yeah, that was cool, cuz i could kinda leave the registers when i could and do jack shit. just like all my managers =)
so they put me on U-scan... the only thing is.. ive never done this before. its based off the regular checkstands, but in the form of a computer. so, after thinking about it, it wasnt too hard. i kinda liked it.
blah blah blah work...
so yeah. i get my lunch, and of course i go up to blimpies. this dude with all these tattoos and a bicked head works there now. he got a call from his brother-in-law, who gave him a riddle for some reason. it went like this:
whats greater than god?
whats more evil then the devil?
what do rich people need?
what do poor people have?
and if you eat it, it kills you.

i got the answer.. he was going insane over it.
but i think ive heard it before. so i take no credit for it.

yeah. so that was the first visit.. on to the 2nd...

no you guys.. NO .. NO no No nO NONoNOonNONOnoNONOnoONONnONONONo. nO.
i go to blimpies for my 2nd break, but this one is only like 10 mins. yeah.. guess who i run into....
adam.. yeah. jasons "friend" who hit on me at our house a while ago. um yeah. not cool..
and he recognized me.. the fucker.. so i had to talk to him...
and what does this bitch do? yeah. he orders a whole chilled dill pickle. NO YOU GUYS! nO!!!!
he had his little brother with him or something. so good, keep him tamed.
(holy shit! lenos doin the chicken thing from valpo in his monologue!)
needless to say. i got the fuck outta there, and told michelle.
i told her about him before.. cuz hes also come through my line at freddys..
thank god saturday is my last day there.

people at work say theyre going to miss me.. theyre so nice =)
i know they could care less, other than michelle, ryan, glenn, and peter.... but yeah. whatever.
peters thinking about going to ballard if he doesnt get into produce over here...

mkay. looking forward to trips thing.
i get to move all my shit tomorrow =)
no more free food =(
lots o good. lots o bad.

i gots ta be quick today. i have to drop off my carat the shop, then go to work. our mechanic guy is actually giving me a ride to work.. weird, huh? its not even that far. jack in the crack to fred meyer.. its not even like 10 blocks, i dont think.

well. o chem was cool today. our last day, we talked about mutagens in DNA, and also viruses.
our teacher's funny. hes like: ok think that youre a virus set on the destruction of the human race. what would you want to be like?
ebola? nah. that pretty much just immediately kills the person, and it doesnt even have a 100% mortality rate.
so you'd want to be something that like kills in a year or so, has no symptoms, cuz people stay away from sick people, and also attack the immune system first, as well as have that 100% fatality rate, along with the ability to quickly mutate....
so as you all guessed, thats HIV. but shit. he was saying that in the world, this guy mutates every 7 seconds. so its kinda unlikely, but not really, that with all these billions of mutations going on, that there is a kinda lofty date set at 2004 to when this virus might be airborne... hmm... thats how he ended the class..... but then he brought out cake!

yeah.. so ok.. pet peeves.. my worst is walking in the house with just socks and stepping in a puddle of water or something...
but nevermind that... i was reminded of another one today.
people that mis-say words.... theres only a few that bug me.. here they are:
f-ustrate
impor-ant
lib-ary
...actually lib-ary's just kinda funny...
but its like jesus! dont you guys know how to spell these words?!?! we're not french here, its not that hard to sound it out!
k.. my bad.

btw, wank. that fred meyer you drive by is greenwood, not ballard.....
i cant have that one cuz it doesnt sell food, therefore no CCK (my department)

badassticles... hehehehe.

for tripat.. who probably doesnt give a fuck:
as good as it gets came out when i was in spain.
it was called Perfectamente?...... NO!
i thought it was funny...

so.. further proof that there are some real idiots out there:
this guy came through my line today and purchased ONE item.
he proceeds to pay and leaves. he forgets his ONE item.....dumbass...

so i told michelle (from work, who was sporting her hickies today from bread man) that im heading off to ballard...
she sed she'd miss me and its sad. but thats how shit goes, eh?
i like talking to her.

oh. and you know how when everything is coming to an end, you seem to get closer to the people you've spent all this time with?
maybe its just me, but you know, like in school. you dont really talk to all these people until theres like a week or a few days left.
maybe cuz you realize that its the end of a routine, and that you'll actually miss these people, even if you didnt interact with them so much. like with work, and especially o chem, cuz that whole class has been together for the whole year.. its like back in the day in elementary school, kinda...

neways. i close again tomorrow. i dont know when i can move all my shit over to the westside.
im definately going to treepots thing though, since i missed the first one.
out.

let it go.
let her go.
i said
let it go, dammit!

have a safe trip to, and a good time in hawaii.
.......................bye.

so much to say...
today i call maegan. she has to go to work.. i call her back later... shes coming home this weekend. but, new news. she tells me ashleigh has decided to spend the rest of the summer in hawaii, and shes leaving next wednesday. maegan doubts that she'll try to call me before she goes. i guess i havent been talked about in a while between them. but anyway. ashleigh's dick of a dad lives in hawaii and does the whole helicopter tours of the islands/volcanoes. from how ashleigh described him, it just seems like he never really grew up. she told me shed never really want to go visit him again after her last experience there.. i guess it must be something really drastic to get her to go.... i guess her job here at the book store isnt working out too well for her, and her dad offered to buy her ticket. which is out of his character, but why not jump at the chance? i guess she'll work with him, doing something with his company.
so maegans coming. that'll be weird.. really weird. she'll be by saturday. ive missed her too. but shes staying in idaho all summer.

so i saw megan today. not maegan as in maegan and ashleigh, and not ashley as in stevens court, but megan bledsoe, from kelso.
shit. good thing there wasnt a michelle involved in that, eh? she told me that when she sed that her bf hung out with her too much, it was cuz she really didnt like him. which.. is brutal, but starting to look more true. although my history teacher repeatedly would tell us that a conflict is never started over one incident. so.. .im guessing that along with that is the fact that she was trying to get rid of me ever since v-day. i think that she once had feelings for me.. .but they faded with the summer....she got over me, but i still tried to hang on to something good. we looked through airs pix today, and i saw her again... quit haunting me!! youre so stubborn!!!

anyway. megans cool. ive missed her.
we had so many other first-time visitors today. manuel stopped by... pointed out that our light covers look like boobs =) and also shocked himself with two 9-volt batteries. thats mah boy! thanx for comin by.

lea and ashley dropped by as well. i think it was leas 2nd time, but before most of the shit we have in there now.
thanx to you guys too for stopping by. always a pleasure. hope yall find a place of yer own!

so... its boring. no ones online. everyones ready to move home, or has. i dont get to laugh at all the funny shit on leno/conan with dan tonight =P but soon we can do it in real life =)

times are changing. growing closer to some, and away from others. i dont necessarily like it, but that shit happens. its life.
from my boy scout guys. keith, kevin, chris.... i dont see those fuckers anymore. its sad. theyre moving on with their life and doing their own thing though... you cant blame them. theyre just all growns up!
its just that i havent had a lot of people come in and out of my life since i moved up here after 7th grade. at least now i get to keep some friends and not start with a clean slate. work will be weird too. i was walking around there on monday. all older people. like late 20s, early 30s. i guess michelle at work now is 30, but shes one of a kind. i'll miss her.

ok... enough dribble, eh?
roomate x, please present yourself. possibly in the form of a calen.
and im out.

as i now know how to draw the complete structures of DNA and RNA, yes, including all sugars, phosphates, and bases....
what the hell am i going to do with that?.... and then my life.... bah.
one useful thing though... if you happen to drink methanol by mistake, rather than embibing on the magical substance we know as alcohol, then, to counteract the effects of methanol, such as blindness or death, the treatment is to get yourself stone-ass drunk.
the protein receptor sites that methanol would attatch to, can be pushed out of the way and taken by its bigger brother ethanol, so to speak. C - OH vs. C - C - OH... ok im a nerd. but you'll thank me when you see wood alcohol and get all excited, drink it, go blind, then find the good shit and save your ass.
enough of school. i dont even want to mention my other classes.

ashleigh. topic of many uh blog.
im to the point to where i cant and wont need to see you everyday.
i'll have a new life in seattle. i just want to make things good. i want you to not be upset at me.
i want to feel like i cant ever see you again. even if in your mind that isnt the case..
but its still a guessing game for me.. and i cant handle it much longer.
im going to possibly see maegan this weekend, and although that will be fun and good,
i think i'll find a deeper funk to crawl into.. but i do it to myself. i cant blame anyone.
i want to forget about it. but i cant. i and my environment wont let me. fuck.
is there some sinusoidal path that i follow? having ups for a while, then downs.
im sure my blogs would answer that. but thats hella shit to look through.

what will i bitch about if this is ever resolved. im sure i can find something.
but what am i talking about... resolved. i think this is a fade away situation.
sadly.
so much shit to deal with right now:
moving, new job, old job, finals, sister, ashleigh/maegan, roomate x....
soon, my son... soon.

kure = czech for chicken. tee hee.

ok. tripat emailed me this. i hope he doesnt mind that i post it.
but to me the weird thing wasnt the incident, heh, but where it occurred.
my dad was born and raised in small ass Valparaiso, Indiana...
fucking coincidences:

TODAY'S SIGN THE WORLD IS ENDING
This guy is one sick bird.
An Indiana man faces up to seven and a half years in prison after
being accused of having sex with a chicken.
The Times (of Hammond, Ind.) reports police were called to a
Valparaiso motel on Memorial Day after the maid found blood and
chicken feathers all over one of the motel room. Motel officials said
the room had been rented the night before to Michael Bessigano, 30,
who police say has a history of harming and having sex with animals,
including geese and dogs.
Police questioned Bessigano and they said he admitted having sex
with a chicken that he stole from a chicken farm south of town. The
chicken died.

what the hell turned dan into a daily blogger, and put coherence into trips blog?!?!?!?!

oh yeah! i know stinky bob.
from when i worked with keith last summer......
to me he smells like mexican.
(cilantro #4889)

so i almost had blog withdrawl today...
so much to say...

ok. so with a little (or lots) of help from amidy, i found ballard fred meyer... OMG! so fucking huge! its like costco or something. i thought i'd been there before, but i must have mistaken it for the lake city one. seriously... fucking huge.
so i meet my new boss.. i go to shake his hand, and he smiles.. BWaSha! i jump a bit. hopefully not enough for him to notice..
his teeth.. theyve got blackish stains on them.. at first i thought it was braces, but no.. just black spots. jesus.
so we chat, blah blah. he lets me go. then i hear an over head, so i overhead him back. he tells me that fred meyer in kirkland can let me go as soon as this sunday!! so shit! now i gotta move in all my shit asap =P but i'll be working in kirkland all weekend.i think 20hrs in 3 days (fri sat sun). so shit.
but nonetheless, im stoked... i just hope that i can find it again.

so to go along with this, amidy took me to a surprise.. which happened to be an international film. i didnt know this til we got to capitol hill.. so.. guess why she decided to take me to it... the title: melancholy chicken. she didnt know what to expect, cuz all the write up sed was "a boy grows attatched to a chicken" or something like that... but the melancholy should have given it away. so this film was in czech, with subtitles, and goddamn, was all about death and loss... this little kid loses his mom when in a storm lightning hits a limb of a tree and lands on the mom who was sheltering the kid... he survives. the whole rest of the movie, he wants to be with his "mummy" up in heaven. at the funeral, he doesnt cry a tear. then they get back to the farm, and this chicken hawk had killed and was eating a mommy chicken and all its chix... all were killed but one wee little chick. the boy cries over the chickens, but goddamn, that was so gross. and im not just saying that cuz it was chickens. so the kid gets a new bitch of a mom.. witnesses more death/loss, etc. then the kid comes down with diptheria. the mom flips out. they send her to england. she comes back, and somehow the dad finds out she was whoreing out her shit, so he gets pissed and starts shoving grapes into her face. the chicken starts pecking at the window. this pisses the dad off.. he throws grapes at it. the pecking ensues. so he goes and breaks the window, then runs outside threatening to kill it =( but the chicken runs into this barn, where this nasty old lady was gettin busy with other house help, and they knock over this lantern.... this catches the hay in the barn on fire, and the chicken runs through it!!! so the fucking chicken is fucking on fire and is running around the barn catching more shit on fire. the whole fucking place is ablaze, and finally someone drops a bucket of water on the thing so it'll stop running around. so this guys hurt.. he hobbles up to the kids room, where hes all sweaty and pale. the chicken hops into his arms all charred and blackened, and they both die together. then that room catches on fire, and the dad unknowningly tries to save his dead kid. but people wouldnt let him.. then, at least the kid got to go see his mom. it was pretty good. although sad, and i think all the shit they did to the animals was real.. like slitting baby goat's throats, chicken hawks eating chickens. NAH!. we joked that i was going to fall asleep during this thing, but actually amidy did.. hehe, oh wait, she was just "resting her eyes"... i HAD to wake her up during the flamming chicken scene though =)

other things... i was going through my shit that i brought over to the house, and i found some photos. yeah. they were of ashleigh.................................. i miss her........... thats allowed =P
id be content with just knowing that she didnt not like me.
i mean, think about it.... do you know anyone that doesnt like you that you dont feel the same way in return? doesnt that just eat you up inside? dont you want to make it better? yeah. well, i tried to make it better.. but i guess only time does that now... but it still eats me up as the days go by.....

aaron, did you call her?

which brings me to my other point. this blog.... sure i share feelings, but thinking about it, when i do share about feelings, and not just some crazy antecdotes, its usually about pain. i guess its easy for me to share pain. its searching for help/comfort, i suppose.
that and just getting those feelings out into terms you can read or spell out, makes me feel a lot better.. clears my head.
as for expressing love, or such, i dont know if id be so quick to share. to me thats more personal.
whatever.... but. yeah, so i herd wank blogged, i guess i'm off to read that.
but first.. heh. the house. our phone lines are shat, or maybe we just got it figured out, but the previous renters still need to leave their fax machine at our place, so he's giving us 100 bucks to keep it there for 3 days.. the guys really cool.
he sed that the lady next door isnt actually a beeyotch, the only reason they got the cops called on them was cuz it was their last night there and they were trying.. he sed that she sed she never herd a damn thing =) sweeet!

my bad.. long blog, but its late night.. kinda. and lots went down today.

so i was about to cry myself to sleep over the anticipation of the boredom i would have tonight.
especially with wank and air = no internet = no blogs.
but i was fucking surprised when i got to matts and he actually blogged twice!! sweet jesus!! i havent seen that guy in a while.
almost as long as manuel, yet i still talk to that fucker online.
and dan too. jesus. that was pretty damn long.... good to see =)

so... i dont think air called ashleigh. im not going to force him to.
im beginning to realize how ackward it would actually be to see her now. but i still have intentions of at least being ok with each other... not having to see each other is fine. i ... yeah. i dunno.
i know things will never be the same. but if we could at least interact... yeah. again.. i dunno.
i guess im still working things out in my head.

so.. my sisters roomate (amidy) has seen my new place before my sister! i see the love.. mhmm...
we played goddamnmutherfucker. fun game, although i thought it was a drinking one.. im sure it could be easily adapted.
so... the house is cool. of the people there now, im the least moved in. so much still..
couch, dresser, desk, pool table... im sure im leaving shit out. but i think it'll be a good house. yes. indeed.
especially if calen might move in. =)

but yeah. so my bed broke last night... yes, my waterbed, but luckily only the frame. i fixed it today with a little help from air pushing up the water sack, dan pushing the frame toward me, and me putting the pieces together. love those guys.. its cool to always know you can get help.
did i mention our house rules? we got all the tv shit set up. just the furnishings now.
alright. babble babble.
im out.

as jays out...
and dans in...
ah well.
the thing is though.... we still dont know if blake is in or out...
guess we'll see.

ok, so... .ashleigh did get the message, and she called airs cell phone asking what that was all about...
so. i dont know if hes called her back yet, but i hope he doesnt try to embellish it to make me look better... i dont know how you'd do that anyway, but whatever.. i hate when people lie to look better. why try to be something you arent and cant live up to?
so... the new question is:
is ashleigh calling a good or a bad thing?
she is curious. but if she wanted nothing to do with me, then why would she bother to call?
i dunno.
little help?

i dont care what you say... confrontation still sux. i feel like a dick.
i had parts for my bed in the L-room, as jay pulls up. he comes upstairs and asks if wank is now deciding to move into that room, but i say no, its my stuff.. then we start talking about it. i tell him that i paid for the house, therefore making it my choice. he stated that out of want and necessity it should be his. umm. doesnt really work like that... ya i feel bad, but im not going to "do him a favor" just to appease him so he doesnt feel bad... i stuck up for myself. i feel like a dick. but i was in the right. i see how he would be dissappointed being kicked out of, yes, the third room you wanted, but, you cant always get what you want just because you want it... no offense to anyone out there. but after jay went downstairs and made a rucus to show his anger, i asked wank if jay was from a single-child family... shore nuff.. comes from a rich only child family. i guess hes not used to not getting what he wants.
we tried to reason with him.. gave him one of the living rooms upstairs, but he kept coming up with lame reasons. like trying to study during a party. well. maybe if that'll be the case. maybe you shouldnt live with us. who studies during a party anyway?
so. i dunno. he seems ready to not move in now. he took his box that he used to stake his claim in the L-room and left. peeling rubber to show is disapprovement.
bah.

as for work. it was noon to 4. oh my sweet jesus was it ever busy!!! my first 3 check outs were around $200 of food. lemme tell you.. thats a shit load. and with all these, i had to get an override for one reason or another.. and. it was today was the first time i ever had to call the credit card place like in "night of the roxbury" and get the card denied. the guy left pissed. "that was a waste of time. i need to call my bank". so i thought he was just gunna leave all his shit, so i voided it out. he comes back later to get the suspended receipt... uh.. yeah. but it was voided.. so he had to stand in line agAin.

other cuh-razy shit at work...
i was checking out (as in ringing up) these two old ladies. im kinda hunched over putting cans into a bag. i feel this kinda slap and i brush of wind on the back of my head... i look up and around, thinking that maybe peter threw something, or shot a rubber band at me.. but as im looking up, everyone in my line is like.. wow! did you see that bird?! it just buzzed your head.. i was like.. "well, actually i felt it, it hit my head." it just dove outta nowhere and hit me!! the fucker. it was only a little sparrow though.

last night... hmmm.. last night... tripat, im not upset. im just in awe that out of the like 20 or so listing in my cell phone, that you picked ashleigh's cell phone to call and leave a message... its so unreal!! first the teaxco attendant talking trash to us, now tripat calling my ex-girlfriend that i havent talked to in like 5 or so weeks, and leaving her a message. i just dont know what she'll do...
laugh? get more annoyed? think: yeah, look how dumb he is, im glad i did what i did, etc.
dont sweat it though, trip. with or without the phone call... she still isnt talking to me....
ladies, thanx for letting us kick it at your place for one last time... always enjoyable =)

well. im out. of to my house in the WESTSIDE! monday i get to meet my (hopefully) new boss at freddys in ballard.
im excited. damn jay for getting me down. i guess blakes having second thoughts too. whatever. i cant accomadate all of you. one of you would have gotten a shit room anyway. i guess its better to be mad at me then a good friend though. but i deserve that room, dammit. then i was asked to give it up from air. see why i feel like a dick? cuz i told him no too. god. i feel like a bastard.
guilt issues? who knows.
late.

this is mostly how i feel:
(its a damn good message if you just take out the chorus)

came into the world as a reject
Look into these eyes
Then you'll see the size of the sags
That are pullin on my past
Burnin on my brain
Everyone that burns has to learn from the pain
Hey, I think about the day
My girlie went away with my pay
And these fellas came to play
Now she's stuck with my homies that she fucked
And I'm just a sucker with a lump in my throat

Like a chump

Should I be feelin bad
Should I be feelin good
It's kinda sad I'm the laughing stock of the neighborhood
And you'd be figured I'd be movin on
But I'm a sucker like I said
Fucked up in the head, not!
And maybe she just made a mistake
And I should give her a break
But my heart will ache either way
Hey, what the hell, whatchu want me to say?
I won't lie, that I can't deny

Why did it take so long
Why did I take so long, huh
To figure it out, but I didn't
And I'm the only one
Underneath the sun who didn't get it
I can't believe that I can be deceived
By my so-called girl, but in reality
She had a hidden agenda
She put my tender, heart in a blender
And still I surrender

I'm only human
It's so easy for your friends to give you their advice
They tell you just let it go
It's easier said than did
I appreciate it, but
Just leave me alone
Leave me alone
Just leave me alone
Nothing's gonna change
You can go away
I'm just gonna stay here
And always be the same

- - limp bizkit

topfree: that is what the topic of the lecture i had today was. the convincing speech that women should be able to choose if they want to go topless or not. personally, yeah it would be weird, but i guess you'd get used to it.
its not my fault that our country was based mostly on religious beliefs and therefore had a conservative attitude, changing society to what it is today.
so there was a guy and a chic talking about it. the guy had pictures, and what i thought was funny was that immediately after he was done showing, what i assumed to be his wife topless, he scurried to close the file.. maybe thats just what i wanted to see, but it seemed strange. that hes so for it being comfortable, but rushing to get rid of it. heh.
the lady on the other hand, sed one thing that i really liked. btw, both were from canadia, eh?
she sed. "this life isnt a dress rehersal"... that can be taken in so many different ways. ya know? be yourself, stand up for yourself, take risks, you only get one chance, do what you want, you arent setting up for something greater, etc, etc.
so even though the talk was about buh-huhhoooobs, i got something out of it =)

oh shit. im gunna call lake city.