1.31.2005

beach party

manuel also blogged about this, and i'm jacking his link.
its crazy how much damage can be done of it's allowed.

we went to this beach party near greenlake.
the house is going to be torn down or refurbished, so we were allowed to kick the crap out of it. leanora's sister xina and i kicked a fat hole in one of the walls.
that pic up there was a different wall after all was said and done.

it was a beach party cuz they decided to haul in sand that covered the whole downstair's floor. about 4 inches deep. this made everyone, of course closer to the ceiling. well. that made it a lot easier to punch the ceiling. check out the holes.

imagine if apache was played.
goddamn.

daily show

jon stewart:
now this is a quick question: why do you think God put all that oil under there (middle east)?

fareed from newsweek:
well, i know some people in the country make it a practice to talk to God, but i prefer to use more practical forms of information -- like books and the internet.

oh, SNAP!

ok. bored.

final rigo

oh. btw. rigo did end up with at least two surviving sisters and one or two brothers. as i told you, her mother did die, and it was probably the most horrid death out of her family.

along with all the torture (cutting of the skin and left to fester), shaving and scalping, withholding of food, there's also the rape factor. but that's not the worst of it. just before death, they feed her, treat her wounds, and repeat the cycle, beating her down and passing her around.
when they got tired of that, they left her by a tall tree, a bloody, dying mess. again her wounds festered, and flies laid eggs leaving larvae that began to consume her body before dying.
up to her death and following her death at the foot of this tree, military personnel would stand gaurd of the body, making sure no one came to claim it.
so there it stood, under watch for 4 months, as the guards would piss on the corpse and coyotes would disembowl the rotting flesh. after that 4 months there was nothing left to claim, so the guards were no longer necessary.

rigoberta was unable to bury her mother nor her father who was consumed in the embassy fire.
she had a chance to flee to europe and live a good life, but such actions must have enraged and invigored her to continue the betterment of life for people of a third world country. she has vowed off marriage and children, feeling that they shouldn't be brought into such a world.

why can't more people be so levelheaded? i guess they just sit on their ass watching tv, eating their goverment-bought potato chips awaiting their next bundle of joy that'll bring them that bigger paycheck for doing jackshit.
why is laziness always rewarded?

rigo's final words

rigo's final thoughts:

finally finished that book up. i had like 10 pages for the longest time. had a buncha shit go down that kinda didn't make me feel like reading.

anyway. here's what she ends the book with:

"We discovered that the Bible has been used as a way of making us accept our situation, and not to bring enlightenment to the poor."

"We also denounce the stance of the Church hierarch because it is so often had in glove with the government. . . they call themselves Christians, yet they are often deaf to the suffering of the people. Many who call themselves Christians don't really deserve to be called Christians. They have no worries, and lovely houses. But that is all. That is why I say that the Church in Guatemala is divided in two. The Church of the poor has the same beliefs as the poor. And the Church as a hierarchy, as an institution, is still a little clique. The majority of our people are Christian, buyt if our own sheperds (as they're called) teach us bad examples, and go hand in hand with the government, we are not going to follow them."

In effect she's denouncing the corrupt, powerful Catholic church and trying to instill a better form that suits her people.

It's too bad that all culture hovers in some form around religion. Is there any out there that is totally independent? Maybe all humans require answers to their fears: To know about the unknown; how people came into being, and where they will go when they die.

reading this book makes me want to go back to Guatemala and help these people out. but then comes my persisting dilema when i ponder if i should try something like the Peace Corp. Are the people who i intend to help really in need of help? what these organizations do is try to westernize the pre-existing culture's way of life. In some cases it may be beneficial, for instance in places where people are dying because droughts or other misfortunes are hindering their former lifestyle's productivity. but in the case of guatemala, the people enjoy their culture and would be fruitful if left to it. but other people from around the world introduce business and big agriculture and push for obtaining lands that aren't there's and in return recieving cheap labor from the people that previously (and continued to) occupied it.

do i really want to go over there and establish some sort of agriculture or tourist location to bring money to people who never needed the concept of money to begin with?

but i guess some technology is addictive. younger people shy away from old tradition when new technologies have the potential to fall into their lap. i think people are inherently lazy and they are therefore willing to adapt to their new environment to enhance their slovenly behavior.

so i'm stuck. help, or don't help? i guess they way the people were previously living, the major fears come down to life or death. but with the introduction of technology and big business, the new worries are mostly about comfort.
now, i'm all for comfort, but shouldn't tradition be something that's cherished?
but. ours has evolved so much, why shouldn't theirs?
i dunno. i'll just read about it and bitch.
i'm too lazy to apply for that shit anyway.
mandatory volunteer work before i can even apply?!? what's that shit all about?

1.27.2005

cat call

both my cats have a greeting that's initiated nearly everytime i give them the amount of attention that they crave. however, i prefer one to the other.

amber, the orange, emaciated, cancer-ridden cat will have me lean over toward her to the point where she can sniff my eye. i can hear her tiny lungs sucking in air through her nose making a quiet, whistling noise. it also kinda tickles cuz she gets right up in there, gently poking at my eye lashes and damn near touches the eye. it lasts about 4 sniffs.

sarah, on the other hand, has a different way of going about it. again i lean over toward her where she licks the tip of my nose. after a lick or two she "lovingly" bites the tip of my nose. but this fucking stings! she traps my nose inbetween her upper canines and pinches the skin around the nostril with her lower canines. i know its coming, but i still let her do it every time.

does this say anything about my personality?

blue hair #2

oh. i forgot to mention.
that chic that i ran into with the dog. . .
she was also carrying with her a hedgehog!
it was so cool! turgid 'hairs' on the top, soft belly underneath.
it preferred to keep itself huddled in a small ball.
it was about the size of a softball.
dunno if that's its full size or not.

1.26.2005

addendum

speaking of the last post, it was kinda weird.
i was just at the pool talking to a guy who after some time figured out that a woman who also comes to the pool was a hot chic from his high school.
he went on to say that he had a perfect opportunity to introduce himself to her but he blew it:
she left her water bottle in the weight room. he went out to give it to her and all he could muster was, "here, ma'am".
when he actually knew her name and coulda easily said something else.
he went on to say how he always gets other chances handed to him but he never takes them.
i guess i took my opportunity tonight to make things better.
just after i told him that i always blow them too...

blue

oh. i also ran into an old friend today on my way home.
i saw a dog off its leash, which i thought was somewhat unusual.
then i saw the owner had a bit of blue hair. then i realized i recognized the dog.
so i stopped and chatted for a while.
it was good to catch up.
...not too sure how she felt about it, but it made me feel a little bit better.

death

damn this rigoberta shit is depressing.
in the beginning she talked about her oldest brother dying from exposure to chemicals in the plantations and her youngest brother dying from malnutrition.
but that's just the beginning.

her younger brother gets kidnapped and tortured in a way that makes shit from "Casino" look mild. Scalping, sole removal, rocks in eyes, enormous gashes, and finally burning.
the next chapter tells how her dad and fellow rebels were making a stand in the city and got burned to death in the Spanish embassy.
just finished that chapter and the next one is titled "death of rigoberta's mother". good shit.
i know she has at least one more sister. is she going down too?

oh and i have something to take back from previous posts. i labeled rigo and her people as commies, but i guess you could call them utilitarian. somehow i guess that's different.

other than that. i only wanted to add that i don't know if i mentioned the religion of the maya people who haven't been influenced by outsiders. what they do is follow what their ancestors did. "my grandpa said this, so we should do this as well".
it's just weird how people choose to govern themselves.

1.22.2005

fall in

hm. maybe its time for a something a bit lighter.

i was working at the pool thursday. the usual shift. all the same kids...
i play with the last kid at 8ish after he's done with his 7:30 lesson. we grab a bouncy ball and kick or throw it back and forth on the pool deck. occasionally, as the pool deck isn't all that wide, maybe 2o feet, the ball bounces off a wall or just makes a straight-shot into the water. sometimes its within reach, other times a noodle is necessary to extend one's reach about 3 feet, and then there's times where poor little marcus, the kid i'm playing with, has to jump in after it.

about ten minutes in, we'd had all of the above situations. then came a sharp sliced kick which bounced to the edge of the pool. about a foot and a half or two feet out which didn't so much require a noodle to grab the ball. so i squat down, legs wide, chest horizontal to the ground, when i feel this slight push on my ass.
that's all it takes.
THAT LITTLE BASTARD!
reaching for the ball for him, he pushes me in.
in the few seconds that i have to think about it, i'm think, "ok, what items of clothing can i salvage from getting wet. shirt, no. shorts, definately NO.
HAT! yes, HAT!
so as i'm going head-first i grab the bill and send the hat flying as hard as i could. in what direction, i know not which.
in salvaging the the hat, i put my body in harm's way. i fell into 3' of water. normally i know how to take a fall. i've watched enough wrestling to know that the best way to land is on the meaty part of your shoulders with your head up.
there wasn't enough time for that, so i hit the pool bottom with the top of my left shoulder. the things i do for that damned hat. so. a battle wound. i guess no big deal.

the best part was immediately jumping up out of the water to see my hat sitting right at the edge of the pool unscathed/wettened. and we're talking right there, in the part that the overflow drains, mere inches.
but i can't be that lucky can i?
of course not.
this friendly iranian woman that i greet and do my pool boy duties of moving her shit around for her convenience (i get bored as fuck) tries to, for once return the favor. she goes, "oH! here's your hat!" and promptly throws it in the water at me. the only problem... it's a short throw. so it lands in the water. crap.
but i save it before it totally submerges, so only half of it is wet. i forcefully thank her for her stupid move and throw it back onto the pool deck along with my soaked shirt.
but that little rapscallion marcus goes at it again. he picks up my hat, repeats what the iranian woman had said, "oH! here's your hat!" and throws it back in the water, again out of my reach. this time... fully capsized.
fuck. the one time i actually pull a badass move off on purpose and it goes to pot. i'm left with a sopping hat and shirt.

i put them in the dry sauna to dry. it actually did pretty well on my hat, but only got about a third of my shirt dry. i had to forever keep an eye on them though because the weird-as-fuck swim instructor and iranian woman's "in-pool boyfriend" likes to take clothes that he well knows aren't his and wear them the next day. he did it to my swim shorts a couple weeks ago. i guess he likes the feel of my ball presence up against his. like i said... sick fuck.
if i didn't need those shorts i would have burned them. but in this case, washing subdued my urge to barf.

so there you have it. an athletic feat gone unnoticed and unrewarded. and all i got to show for it is a bruised shoulder. but its ok. i threw in that kid enough times to make up for it. i even carried him at my side like a football and charged into the water. that'll learn him. k maybe not, he enjoyed it.
it's all good. kids aren't that bad. unless they're yours.

jesus

well. you're probably all tired of it, but i got re-inspired after i went to work at the pool tonight to talk about it more.

the lifeguard that works before me is taking a "begginings of Christianity" at UW. i barely got to talk to her about it, but then ended up having an good conversation with arturo.

the way i see it, is kinda what i was implying a million times in the last posts. that times are bad and people are looking for someone to step up and lead them out of their misery. enter jesus, muhammed, buddah, lao-tzu, rigoberta, or whoever will take the task.

but i think this time i want to focus on jesus cuz i know his story the best.

the roman government was being a bitch. it's governing lands from afar and really has no idea of the culture that it's lording over. for the first time that anyone can remember, the people around the sea of galilee are being taxed. taxed nonetheless by that foreign ruler.
bad times.

jesus gives his lectures, his teachings, his parables and some listen. but the ruling government doesn't like what he's doing. they call him heretical but what really was jesus doing? he was trying to bring everyone back to the basics, the base philosophy of how to live your life.

he got enraged at the temple for those bastards trying to make a buck off of the jewish religion. selling birds and sheep for offerings? gambling in the house of God? what is this?!

so he puts a new spin on the old religion. live a good life. live well under your government. treat your neighbor well.
it's a great way to live.

but years and years pass, jesus becomes diefied, stories are told of how he feeds thousands with a few loaves of bread and some fish. people think he's the son of God. the religion grows.

but what happens? again, it comes full circle and again people are looking to gain money and power from the new religion. the basic concepts are lost and people blindly follow whatever manipulations can be passed on for someone's gain. the catholic church grows, gains power, takes over europe.
again, reformation. martin luther, pissed, steps up and tries again.
fast forward a few hundred more years. protestant churches are big man in america and now back the country's ruler. Roe gets bought off and people are being told what they should believe.

alright. that was a little aside. but how arturo put it was like this. or maybe i made this example, but used shit arturo had told me.

arturo's passion is kung fu. he moved up here from san fransisco away from his old sifu (chinese for sensei). his old sifu was badass and started this huge organization.
up here in redmond, there's another sifu who was trained under the guy in san fran. the problem, arturo tells me, is that this guy doesn't care how well his students learn the art. to get the most out of a move you need to twist the waist along with the punch. but this guy could care less. he's all about the money.
the first time he saw arturo even before he asked about giving lessons, he was wondering about his fee.

a flagrant disrespect of the art to begin with, and then not even a wish to teach it well. the guy has gotten into the merchandising of his kung fu and has totally lost sight of what was really important. passing down a tradition that extends many-a generation.

this just seems to be the way things are. a religion/culture/kung fu style/way of life/etc is created to solve some sort of misgiving or an unbearable lifestyle. but given time and the success of the enacted way of life, people figure out ways to personally become successful in its use and bastardize in order to maximize their own personal/monetary gain from the system already in place.

so what was once a helpful agent to people becomes warped into a pile of crap that only helps a powerful few.

so why do people fall into the trap?
fear.
everyone wants to feel a belonging to something.
that for some reason life is worth living and on down the line there will be and answer and a reward for living a certain way.
but there is no right direction. i think instead of being told what to believe people should just explore life on their own.

fuck religion. it may tell you how to live life, but maybe you only need to take the basics from it and relie on your on intuition to fill in the gaps.

cuz seriously, what kinda changes could be made over the last 2000 years to the religion of the big, bearded man in the sky?
sketchy monks doing what they 'think' God would have intended to write, misinterpretations of those who may not know aramaic or greek that well, people who make crap up just to answer contemporary question that the bible makes no references to . . . the list goes on.

i mean shit. think about it. up until about 10 years ago Christopher Colombus was this badass dude that found America and led every white man to their manifest destiny. but now we know him as the murderer and pillager of thousands of Taino indians. and it's only been a quarter of the time that jesus' background could have been made legendary!!

so take from religion what you may, but i personally see it as important, but just important history. read between the lines. elaboration of stories has existed since the dawn of time. think creation stories (outside of adam and eve), think mideval stories of dragons and elves. its all about keeping people's attention.
the old testament knew how to do it. deciet, stories of wars and kings. the new testament has stories of overcoming adversity. it's all in there. check it out.

1.20.2005

i was thinking about this last night.
how rigoberta and her people were accused of being communists,
and how she refutes it by saying, "that the people weren't communists but hungry; not communists, but exploited by the system."

however, thinking about it, they might actually be communist. not the kind that was influenced by the russian or chinese powers, but maybe in a more simpler, purer form.

because later on in the same paragraph she goes on to say, "we know very well that we don't need a king in a palace but a brother who lives with us."

the structure of her small society is that there are representatives from the community who, don't really mandate how things should go, but give advice, somewhat like elders, or things to that regard. they all do have their own land, or the ability to procure it, but if there are unfortunate souls whose land either was unfruitful, or maybe widows who couldn't put in the necessary manhours in her field, there was a common growing field that anyone who needed could help maintain and feed from. they let anyone in the community use whatever they have. they work as a whole rather than seperate identities.
i guess that's the safest way to go about that type of lifestyle where uncertainties and small disasters could lead to a life or death situation.

where once all resources necessary were found within walking distance, now they are being forced to find a new way to live. the loss of land fucked them over and their commie lifestyle has been disrupted. it'll probably never be the same since being affected, but at least they figured out a way to fight for justice.
like i said last night, they used their own methods against them: language and religion.
another random thing.
there's this woman who comes to the pool and swims her ass off almost daily.
her name's renee.
she's unique in the fact that she's deaf, or mostly deaf, and reads lips pretty damn well.
arturo, my sifu, and i were talking to her the other day about ASL.
i knew there were different sign languages around the world, but she was saying that ASL is more closely related to french and even chinese sign language than it is to england's sign language.
...something about how the syntax of ASL is totally different from that of spoken english, so the matter of how the language goes about forming a sentence dictates its similarities.
yeah. i don't really know if i understand it completely either. but i think i get the idea. sign language uses symbols, but leaves gaps that leave understood meanings to connect them.

anyway. i guess even ASL has different dialects.
one example she gave was a middle finger, but with the signer's palm facing the person being signed to. only in arizona does that refer to a cactus.

so the next time you're in arizona and you get cut off while driving, don't forget to flip them the cactus.

bah-ching!

addition

in addition to an inspiration to telling off religion,
rigoberta's book also has taught me exactly how the mayan language, Cakchiquel (cawk-che-kell), is spelled.

the only things i remember though are:

Ho't xowbim (attempted spelling)*
hought shauw-bim (attempted pronunciation)
vamanos (spanish translation)
let's go (english translation)

AND

ut ba'xute (attempted spelling)*
oot ba-shoot (attempted pronunciation)
tu culo (spanish translation)
your ass (english translation)

*note: that ' indicates a glottal stop. like your tongue getting in the way of talking for a second, a temporary hault in breathing.
yeah. i guess you'd have to hear it. . .

rigo

hm. been a while since i've posted. i guess i've been kinda busy. work and hanging out and what not. i guess when i have someone to confide in, i talk to you less. oh well. does anyone really care?

anyway. nothing to important to blog about. i'm still hung up on that rigoberta book. i'm getting through it really slowly cuz i've been up to so much, hardly any free time. and i forget to bring it to the pool too.

yeah. so i'm still hung up on how religion uses the masses. Rigoberta a devout catholic still acknowledges its power over them. "Catholic Action too submitted us to tremendous oppression. It kept our people dormant while others took advantage of our passivity."
hm. a taming of the masses to get them to work for the "higher power".

christianity tells people that no matter how poor or shat they are in life here on earth, that if they reach heaven its a beautiful utopia with all the corn tortillas you can eat!

but what she goes on to explain is how this religion helps exploit their labor. and this is what i've been saying all along, i'm glad other people independently came up with it. it's not such a novel notion, but its good to hear:

"even religions are manipulated by the system, by those same governments you find everywhere. They use them through their ideas or through their methods."

but what she ends up doing, even though she realizes this corruption, is to utilize Catholicism to her advantage:

"reality teaches us that, as Christians, we must create a church of the poor, that we don't need a Church imposed from outside which knows nothing of hunger. We recognize that the system has wanted to impose on us: to divide and keep the poor dormant. So we take some things and not others. . . we have understood that being a Christian means refusing to accept all the injustices which are commited against a humble people who barely know what eating meat is but who are treated worse than horses."

so whereas before all these indian cultures were following their "ancestor's ways" as a sort of culture/religion, rigoberta starts to go from community to community to unite all the poor natives that are having their land stolen and people terrorized. this brings to mind some of the few well known examples of how other religions started, muhammed united the tribes of saudi arabia and the surrounding area to rise up and expand their new-found culture's territory. and although it wasn't really about the land, but maybe the mindset in jesus' and paul's time, they set out to make a uniform religion. see. the whole jesus concept makes it sound selfless, but i think in later roman times, maybe this dude, jesus' persona was diefied definitely used to the caesar's advantage, well, once they switched over to christianity.

so rigo was out being her modern-day jesus in hopes to create a better life for her people who only want the basic ammenities of life: a bit of land to grow food on, and peace from being hassled by outsiders. but their labor was so cheap, sometimes they never even got paid due to circumstances like acoholism or sick children.

her belief is that its, "the duty of Christians to create the kingdom of God on Earth among our brothers. This kingdom will exist only when all have enough to eat, when our children, brothers, parents don't have to die from hunger and malnutrition. "

ok, i guess i'm now just reiterating the same point here, and just to do it one last time before i move on to a slightly different topic, what i'm saying is here:
all rigoberta was doing was unifying her people by using her "enemy's" religion against them.

so i guess religion can be used for both liberation or coersion. depending on who's using it and on/with whom.

its also interesting when she gives the soldier side of the story.
raids, i guess, were fairly common at some given point in the 70s or 80s in rigo's part of guatemala. men would be tortured, women would be raped, fields would be burned, ceramics broken, etc.
one day, a 90-some year-old woman who was too resiliant and tired to run up to the mountains as was the usual form of safety from these raids, caught a soldier and killed another, go badass grandma! (with only a hatchet, nonetheless).

the point of that was, that they talked to the captured soldier, who was also a native indian, and found out how these people are manipulated to do the government's biding.

they are told that the people who live in the forests are commies. they are unspecific on how to identify one, but they should know that they're all out there in the forests, so kill the faceless commmies (the non-uniformed people)!

some are easily brain-washed and blindly go out and kill what they were told to. others are scared shitless and do the same. fortunately though, there are some that are cynical and question what they're doing. usually though, these people end up dead. shot by the government's army. that thin line of traitor or a simply a situation that looks fishy, isn't thought twice about, and the soldier is immediately made an example of on the firing line.
so those who aren't blindly obeying are forced to obey through fear of death.
the guy that was captured, however, was released and, as far as rigoberta knew, was hiding out in the forests. going home = death.

this sums it up nicely, as in this narrated conversation with rigoberta and the captured soldier.
the soldier begins:
"'We have to obey the captain. The captain is always behind us and if we don't obey, he shoots us'.

We asked him: 'and why don't you get together then if there's only one captain.'

'Well, not all of us think the same.' he said, 'many have come to believe in what we're doing.'

And we asked him: 'And what are you defending? Where are these communists?'

The soldier didn't even know what communists were.
We asked him. 'What do they look like?'

And he said: "Well, they tell me they're in the mountains, that they don't look like people, and things like that.'"

well crap. i guess i just told you that then gave you the quote. boring...
but again, the idea is that fear is a tool used to control people. for the army: death. for religion: loss of that corn-filled utopia.
and in the case of the army, too many varying backgrounds were held to do anything about the figurehead that was promoting death to commies. the existing army culture/ideal/religion kept enough chaos through that fear to keep control over its subordinates.

then rigo comes along and begins that unification of those being suppressed, going town to town giving them ideas on how to fight the army, and using the universal language of that area: spanish.

what rigoberta eventually ends up doing is using the means of power (religion and language) against the government and landowners that initially established them.
brilliant!
the point being (wait i've made too many) that she used religion to take control and give power to a group of people.
be it for "good" or "bad", religion is simply a tool for power.
its not something to be believed in as much as a culture that puts everyone who's influenced by it on the same level of understanding: this is how things are done, and this is why. . .
no questions necessary because vague or "becuase i told you so" answers will put all your queries to rest.

aint it simple when all you have to do is what you're told?
no wonder craploads of people devote their lives and freewill to whatever religion their immersed in.
its like a subculture or ammendment of one's own culture.

k. shutting up.
thanks for walking through that with me.
if it reads all fucked up, its cuz i simply let my mind flow.
and sometimes that's a jumpy ride.

1.12.2005

update

well, here's the update of how this morning before work went: surprisingly well.
the only problem was that i really didn't want to get up. that was probably due to the fact that i woke up at 4 am and 6 am on the dot. but hey, i made it anyway. no funny business this time.

after fred meyer i had an hr, so i spent a bit of it talking to coworkers, then i picked up some sunny D. the half gallons are $1, so i picked up two. then i stopped by wendy's grabbed me and grandpa some burgers and headed home. cost of burgers: $3.25.

so i get home and start handing out the grub. and i guess wendy's decided to make mine a happy meal, cuz in between two burgers was a 5 dollar bill.
score me! so basically that sunny D and wendy's came to a whopping 25 cents.
i can dig it.

so i finished up lunch with grandpa and headed downstairs to change. the day's not that bad at all! in fact, it's been good! bad luck: gone.

then i push back the curtain that creates my room and i smell it: shit.
i immediately look once again at my shoes. nothing. i scan the floor for some warm nuggets. still nothing. but i smell it! look harder!
look higher!
bed. FUCK! BED! THAT'S MY BED!!!!
a fresh fucking pile of goddamned shit lay waiting for its discovery on my comforter. luckily the culprit missed the fleece blanket strewn on the bed.
but GODDAMMIT. THAT'S MY BED!
and once again, i was running late for work. eating with grandpa set me back a few minutes. so i complained to grandpa about crap in my bed but told him i had to run.
came home and the shit was washed away.
well, either that or somebody removed the pile of shit, put the comforter in the dryer and ran it enough to make it slightly warm.

so. three days running.
anything in store for tomorrow? this shit's getting kinda old.
get it? shit...
yeah....

1.11.2005

shitty coupla days

man.
this year's been messed up.
half of the things that live in this house have already been to the hospital this year: my grandpa, a cat and a dog.
oh. i forgot to mention those that live in water.
of those, one-third died. oh well. two to go on that one...

but anyway. my cat was sick and needed medicine. i kept having to take time out to come home both day and night to shove crap down her throat.
minor inconvenience, whatever.

yesterday i went to use the toilet in my parents bedroom, but the water level was low. i was going to leave it be, but i decided, what the fuck, and flushed it.
the water level returned to normal, but i still wasn't about to use it. so i went to the communal bathroom around the corner. sitting there i heard water running, which i thought was quite odd. i eventually went back to my parent's bathroom to take a shower when i noticed my towel was a darker blue than normal. sweet. overflow.
there was about a quarter-inch of water that had spilled out and totally soaked my towel, not to mention the two bathroom mats and mat outside of the bathroom and under a cabinet. it took about 4 towels to contain the flood. after my shower i took all the wet towels downstairs to the laundry room.

but before i made it there, i stepped in a puddle. wonderful. the water had seeped through the floor and was splashing onto the piano and the floor.
turning the corner into the laundry room, another giant puddle. this time mixed with a bit of cat litter which has spilled out from the pans nearby.
brilliant. i sop that up and go into the bathroom downstairs to brush my teeth. what's this? the toilet seat is brown and wet. no. no accidents from me, the ceiling was leaking! it was splashing onto the toilet and running down the walls.
took another two towels to get this all cleaned up. i would press on the ceiling tiles in the downstairs bathroom and water would drip out. there was a steady stream for a while which eventually subsided.

did i mention i did all of this with a hangover and under time constraints with the need for work breathing down my neck? not good times.
but i got it done. my parents really didnt even mention it at all when they got home. i brought it up and they really didn't seem to be too bothered by it. i guess all that mattered was that i cleaned it up.

today i'm again running late for work... i don't give myself enough time. but i only live two minutes away so it's all good. but i grab the door to the garage and slip out into the garage.
...that didn't feel normal. i stepped in something. ....shit. its shit! one of the animals left me a present. thank you. who ever steps in shit in their own house?!
i went in the bathroom and got it out of my shoe. luckily my shoes are old and the treads aren't that deep. my grandpa came down cuz he always likes to investigate noises. he heard the garage door open. whoopie. he must just get bored and want to see if there's any action around. anyway. i pawned cleaning the rest of the shit up on him. thanks grandpa. but he really has nothing better to do anyway. and it wasn't a sloppy or monster shit, so it wasn't that bad.
musta been a cat shit then. ...thought i saw blood. not cool.
anyway, i barely made it to work on time.

i wonder what's in store for me tomorrow before work...
i work both jobs tomorrow, so i guess something could happen before either one.
we'll see...

1.07.2005

happy new fuck

happy new fuck!

i guess that makes people feel a sense of urgency to post.
whatever.

i do have something to post now, however.
reading more of that Rigoberta book, and found some interesting stuff on religion.
now, her and her family are all about Catholicism, but some passages in the book are kind of interesting on how she sees the religion.

she talks of the ladino's, who are the rich, white landowners and what they do to her people. here she's talking about the catholic priests:

"It's not to undervalue the good things they have taught us; but they also taught us to accept many things, to be passice, to be a dormant people."

hmm. is there a better way to control a group of people? have their religion tell them how they should act and what they should do...?

"Their religion told us that God is up there and that God has a kingdom for the poor."

no matter what kinda poverty they live in, heaven awaits them to end their eternal sorrow on earth.

she goes on to say how the world is a very confusing place to her because she has been out to the capital, to the city. her fellow villagers "ideas were very pure because they had never been outside of the community."

seeing what is outside of how her community lives helps her understand how the landowners and government were exploiting their labor for their personal gain.

she reiterates her point in the next chapter:

"Catholic Action too submitted us to tremendous oppression. It kept our people dormant while others took advantage of our passivity."

here, she realizes who her enemies are and this is where the shit goes down.
she starts to organize her people against the oppressors. she ends up uniting more than just her small community, but the other mayan around guatemala who have a similar culture but might have a different language.
what helped her unite was the more 'powerful' spanish language that helped her communicate with other indians and the outside world.
all before she was 23.