dammit.
first wank with his public shitlessness, and now manuel.

since i can remember, ive always noticed that i kinda just fit in because i act how the other people do... i mimic them, in effect.
i guess thats why people like me... im really not a threat.. non-conflictive... i act as other people do. within my different "clics"
shit. i suddenly forgot how to spell that. you ever do that? i think it has an H in it. or am i just dumb?
anyway..... i mimic.
with shanker: i'd be kooky, smartassitive, beavis and buttheadish.
with kiris: passive, non-resistive, let her call the shots (she likes that)
with josh: im one of the most perverted fucks you'll ever come by.
with amidy: i speak her language (although its strangely addictive)
theres hellza more, but not as pronounced.
but in general im a quiet little bitch til i get to know people, or get 2 & 3/4" of alcohol in me....
its also really hard for me when different groups meet each other.
cuz you dont know if they'll clash or go together well. cuz i fit in with such different types of people.
it was hard when i brought alexis around, or even when shanker interacted with my present posse,
and also when they all came down to cali for a spring break road trip.
i get quiet. i guess i dont know how to act, how to be comfortable when my personalities that i would exude clash.

so with this realization came the dilema...
who the fuck am i really?
which am i? ... i cant be all can i?
maybe i am who i am with my closest friends.
yet even with them, i act a lot different than i do with my family.
im nuch more witty, loud, quick to comment with them.
they love to have me around for entertainment... i use it to its full potential =)
good meals, the occasional load of laundry, etc... basically a lazy bitch.

but in general, im submissive, i go with the flow. so maybe that defines me.
i am all those personalities i act out. almost like a fucking game, or show.

meh. im always like. "damn, manuel posts so damn much!"
heh. but i dont have to read mine =)

dans helpin me look for a real computer.
im not sure if im ready yet.
but its only about $1100 for a pretty decent one.
i know shit about them anyway, so i wouldnt know where i'd be missing out.

arr. ive had so much pop today....
i want to be a pirate.