theres always this flux in blogging.
then.... nothing.
then it starts up agheyn.
wtf?
then.... nothing.
then it starts up agheyn.
wtf?
9.30.2001
9.29.2001
fuk. im out.
yeh its conjunction not conjugation.
we be doin the preterite and imperfect in espanol.
ick.
yeh its conjunction not conjugation.
we be doin the preterite and imperfect in espanol.
ick.
my chest has been fine.
but then tonight.. its been cracking like crazy.
maybe its the colder weather?
damn. its almost been 4 yrs now....
but then tonight.. its been cracking like crazy.
maybe its the colder weather?
damn. its almost been 4 yrs now....
9.28.2001
amidy.
chix with babies = dont touch!
(unless its your own)
shit. thats even worse than if theyre married......heh.
chix with babies = dont touch!
(unless its your own)
shit. thats even worse than if theyre married......heh.
is it just me, or is english 101 just like 2nd grade all over again?
well. i guess a lotta classes are like that.
all the stupid people need to be caught up so we're all "on the same level".
who knows what a conjugation is, and how to use one?
too bad only 2 outta 4 knew.
geezus.
bio. fucking bio.
we're going over the basics of chemistry.
this is why i dropped out last time.
i cant take the boredom. moving so slow....
how can people still not get it?!
also. talking about electronegativity.
example:
on something such as water. one oxygen, two hydrogen.
know the model? yeh.
well you know the delta minus on the oxygen side to show the polarity?
well this teacher sez that its a sigma. ok. no big deal, but shes the teacher. sure shes specializing in bio and not chem, but shouldnt she know this basic shit?
i wonder how long shes known it as the wrong way, and how long shes been telling others this incorrect bit of info.
(see. i just used a conjugated sentence! damn. im ahead of half of the people in my english class.)
fucking morons. when do i get outta there? oh yeh.... its my own damn fault.
i cant wait til i get to specialize.
but in what?...... shit.
other random thought de jour:
when its mutual, its "time well spent".
when its one-sided, its "smothering". >=P
well. i guess a lotta classes are like that.
all the stupid people need to be caught up so we're all "on the same level".
who knows what a conjugation is, and how to use one?
too bad only 2 outta 4 knew.
geezus.
bio. fucking bio.
we're going over the basics of chemistry.
this is why i dropped out last time.
i cant take the boredom. moving so slow....
how can people still not get it?!
also. talking about electronegativity.
example:
on something such as water. one oxygen, two hydrogen.
know the model? yeh.
well you know the delta minus on the oxygen side to show the polarity?
well this teacher sez that its a sigma. ok. no big deal, but shes the teacher. sure shes specializing in bio and not chem, but shouldnt she know this basic shit?
i wonder how long shes known it as the wrong way, and how long shes been telling others this incorrect bit of info.
(see. i just used a conjugated sentence! damn. im ahead of half of the people in my english class.)
fucking morons. when do i get outta there? oh yeh.... its my own damn fault.
i cant wait til i get to specialize.
but in what?...... shit.
other random thought de jour:
when its mutual, its "time well spent".
when its one-sided, its "smothering". >=P
9.27.2001
i had this fan.
maybe i still do.
outta our alliance, she only read mine.
probably the initial allure was from the blogs title.
(yes. im bragging)
maybe i still do.
outta our alliance, she only read mine.
probably the initial allure was from the blogs title.
(yes. im bragging)
dood. werent it dem jews that were resistant to the bubonic plague?
and thats have the reason why all them other dying peeps got pissed at them.
well. that and for taking all their mons and demanding interest.
that shit aint legal with the muslims.
and thats have the reason why all them other dying peeps got pissed at them.
well. that and for taking all their mons and demanding interest.
that shit aint legal with the muslims.
i only got to see like 10 mins of Friends.
but whats this about chandler running around with a married chic?
hmmm. i didnt even know him and monica broke up.
.... i dont watch tv anymore =P
but whats this about chandler running around with a married chic?
hmmm. i didnt even know him and monica broke up.
.... i dont watch tv anymore =P
3 days of school and no work makes me appreciate work.
going back to work makes me appreciate school.
good deal.
going back to work makes me appreciate school.
good deal.
9.26.2001
holy shit.
she called.
we talked.
her friends getting married and she had to go out and find her a dress.
i guess thats enough of an excuse.
she sed my last message on her phone was kinda mean.
but i dont think she got all of them.
apparently her husbands the jealous untrusting type.
checks her email, phone messages, etc.
weird shit.
kinda seems like limiting her freedom/running her life.
shes too nice to be treated like that.
i told her about bitching out ashleigh.
she asked if i apologized.
how the fuck did she know?
she does the same. with her husband after a spat. (even though she admittedly sez he doesnt deserve it.)
are other people like that?
....or is that just us?
she called.
we talked.
her friends getting married and she had to go out and find her a dress.
i guess thats enough of an excuse.
she sed my last message on her phone was kinda mean.
but i dont think she got all of them.
apparently her husbands the jealous untrusting type.
checks her email, phone messages, etc.
weird shit.
kinda seems like limiting her freedom/running her life.
shes too nice to be treated like that.
i told her about bitching out ashleigh.
she asked if i apologized.
how the fuck did she know?
she does the same. with her husband after a spat. (even though she admittedly sez he doesnt deserve it.)
are other people like that?
....or is that just us?
do you remember back like a year ago.
ok sure.
but i feel tenacious D had a sitcom.
i think it lasted for like two weeks.
i always thought jack black was the shit.
best scene of his career: gettin his arm blown off in jackal.
ok sure.
but i feel tenacious D had a sitcom.
i think it lasted for like two weeks.
i always thought jack black was the shit.
best scene of his career: gettin his arm blown off in jackal.
i sed fuck it tood, and i parked where only the cosmetology peeps are supposed to..
oh well. no ticket yet.
i get to english early tood.
the teacher takes attendance. but he doesnt see my hand raised when he asks who else, and then so we move on.
i decide to wait til after class to talk about it.
i do that.
and he tells me that its a full class, and since i havent been there all three days, that he wouldnt let me in.
HOLD UP@!!@ mutha fucka.
ive been there all 3 days!!!
i raised my hand the first day and gave him my name! why is this not recorded?
on the 2nd day i was hella late. but still. i was there.
i told him where i sat both days.
he was like. sorry.
and i left.
but then. all i could think about was this thought reverberating in my head.
"dood. you only have to boss peeps sometimes to get what you want."
the thought of amidy bitching me out about AGAIN not getting into english made me turn my ass around and go back in there.
once he was done talking to chatty fuckin cathy.
i told him "i have been here both days, and i dont know why you dont have me down as being so."
so he only sed. "talk to me tomorrow."
which. i dunno if its a good thing, but at least it means i'll have more time to explain myself to him.
i picked up an "add" slip today too.
so maybe i can shove it under his nose and force him to sign.
that guy. =P
spanish was oak.
but geezus christ! was bio boring.
she went over the basics and i mean BASICS of chemistry today. i think i have a grasp on it. i just got outta a year of org. chem, thanx.
so this shit is like sitting through a movie youve seen like 8 times. you can hardly stand to sit there and pay attention anymore, its so annoying.
but i make it through.
and then i have to go to our ghetto lab.
we finish in under an hr, and i book outta there.
this is a first: i have one smartie in my lab group. she blazes through the lab like me, instead of pondering what the fucks going on.
i like her pace. with two of us it kinda keeps the others on pace. but theyre still ass slow.
damn. all my shits been about school lately.. bleh.
hmm. oh yeah. thats probably cuz mistys out.
havent herd from her since we worked together on sunday night.
so either shes:
gone to spokane already.
found some other random guy.
or sick of me.
i'll take "c", bob.
oh well. no ticket yet.
i get to english early tood.
the teacher takes attendance. but he doesnt see my hand raised when he asks who else, and then so we move on.
i decide to wait til after class to talk about it.
i do that.
and he tells me that its a full class, and since i havent been there all three days, that he wouldnt let me in.
HOLD UP@!!@ mutha fucka.
ive been there all 3 days!!!
i raised my hand the first day and gave him my name! why is this not recorded?
on the 2nd day i was hella late. but still. i was there.
i told him where i sat both days.
he was like. sorry.
and i left.
but then. all i could think about was this thought reverberating in my head.
"dood. you only have to boss peeps sometimes to get what you want."
the thought of amidy bitching me out about AGAIN not getting into english made me turn my ass around and go back in there.
once he was done talking to chatty fuckin cathy.
i told him "i have been here both days, and i dont know why you dont have me down as being so."
so he only sed. "talk to me tomorrow."
which. i dunno if its a good thing, but at least it means i'll have more time to explain myself to him.
i picked up an "add" slip today too.
so maybe i can shove it under his nose and force him to sign.
that guy. =P
spanish was oak.
but geezus christ! was bio boring.
she went over the basics and i mean BASICS of chemistry today. i think i have a grasp on it. i just got outta a year of org. chem, thanx.
so this shit is like sitting through a movie youve seen like 8 times. you can hardly stand to sit there and pay attention anymore, its so annoying.
but i make it through.
and then i have to go to our ghetto lab.
we finish in under an hr, and i book outta there.
this is a first: i have one smartie in my lab group. she blazes through the lab like me, instead of pondering what the fucks going on.
i like her pace. with two of us it kinda keeps the others on pace. but theyre still ass slow.
damn. all my shits been about school lately.. bleh.
hmm. oh yeah. thats probably cuz mistys out.
havent herd from her since we worked together on sunday night.
so either shes:
gone to spokane already.
found some other random guy.
or sick of me.
i'll take "c", bob.
9.25.2001
heh. i love music, but im ghetto when it comes to collecting it.
proven by my 5 or 6 (i dont even know) CD collection, and i just only downloaded my 4th song online.
proven by my 5 or 6 (i dont even know) CD collection, and i just only downloaded my 4th song online.
ya know what?
i give my all when people are having a hard time.
but seldom do you see them get your back when you need it.
only the true mother fuckers....
like ams and man.
i give my all when people are having a hard time.
but seldom do you see them get your back when you need it.
only the true mother fuckers....
like ams and man.
gah.
5 months, minus 2 days, after she told me she hated me, couldnt stand the thought of me, never wanted to see me again,
shes hoping that i can forgive her.
i dont know if im really holding a grudge.
maybe bringing up what i did insinuates that, but i just really dont want to be exposed to her again so she can hurt/abuse me.
shes got issues, fine.
i tried to help her through those at one point in time, only to get shat on.
she'd probably just end up doing it again.
her bad.....
5 months, minus 2 days, after she told me she hated me, couldnt stand the thought of me, never wanted to see me again,
shes hoping that i can forgive her.
i dont know if im really holding a grudge.
maybe bringing up what i did insinuates that, but i just really dont want to be exposed to her again so she can hurt/abuse me.
shes got issues, fine.
i tried to help her through those at one point in time, only to get shat on.
she'd probably just end up doing it again.
her bad.....
religion has been fucked with by so many people throughout its lifespan that there aint hardly nothin in it that it started with.
sept maybe God Himself.
that could be all you need.....
in the other religions too.....
sept maybe God Himself.
that could be all you need.....
in the other religions too.....
hold up, you guys....
what about all those times you wanted to go to church? during all those times i thought work and sleep were more important?
faker =P
what about all those times you wanted to go to church? during all those times i thought work and sleep were more important?
faker =P
sometimes you see people. and youre like who the fuck is that, ive seen them before?
like my sweater guy at BBs parties.
but then theres those people that you actually know, but havent seen in hella (jebe;), and youre just like.
fuck. whats their name?! and then like hrs later, youre not even thinking about it, and the fucker pops into your head.
oh yeh! kara schmidt.
i saw her today.
along with a couple other peeps i know.
most of you wont care about the names, but some will...
lets see:
karen kenney (always hot), sherri somethin-er-other, brittney (kiris' friend who had the baby), justin hograffe (grew a curly fro), and oh yes, my personal favorite, ashleigh =P
who i actually almost ran into with the fatty mini, cuz it cant take this one corner in the parking lot and i keep having to back up to actually get around it.
luckily being in the van, she didnt notice me and kept about her bidness.
speaking of fucking parking.
that place is assed!
again, took me 20 mins to get there, and this time i wasnt lucky enough to find a spot within a half hr before class.
so. lets see. with walking time to get from my parking spot to my class, it took me 55 mins. i was 25 mins late to english.
fucking place.
at least at BCC there were parking spots hella away if you really couldnt find a spot closer.
but here. no love. there just aint no open spots. so you HAVE to get lucky... which i wasnt.
i yawned like 5 times in espanol today. luckily she didnt catch any of them.
heh. i told yall about the room change in that class?
today there was this dood sitting next to me, and about 10 mins in, hes like, is this 2958?
yup. OH but you want the french class!
heh. that guy was fucking sweating like mad. no joke.
prolly pissed himself too.
supposedly french 101 and the teachers talking fluently already!?
like my sweater guy at BBs parties.
but then theres those people that you actually know, but havent seen in hella (jebe;), and youre just like.
fuck. whats their name?! and then like hrs later, youre not even thinking about it, and the fucker pops into your head.
oh yeh! kara schmidt.
i saw her today.
along with a couple other peeps i know.
most of you wont care about the names, but some will...
lets see:
karen kenney (always hot), sherri somethin-er-other, brittney (kiris' friend who had the baby), justin hograffe (grew a curly fro), and oh yes, my personal favorite, ashleigh =P
who i actually almost ran into with the fatty mini, cuz it cant take this one corner in the parking lot and i keep having to back up to actually get around it.
luckily being in the van, she didnt notice me and kept about her bidness.
speaking of fucking parking.
that place is assed!
again, took me 20 mins to get there, and this time i wasnt lucky enough to find a spot within a half hr before class.
so. lets see. with walking time to get from my parking spot to my class, it took me 55 mins. i was 25 mins late to english.
fucking place.
at least at BCC there were parking spots hella away if you really couldnt find a spot closer.
but here. no love. there just aint no open spots. so you HAVE to get lucky... which i wasnt.
i yawned like 5 times in espanol today. luckily she didnt catch any of them.
heh. i told yall about the room change in that class?
today there was this dood sitting next to me, and about 10 mins in, hes like, is this 2958?
yup. OH but you want the french class!
heh. that guy was fucking sweating like mad. no joke.
prolly pissed himself too.
supposedly french 101 and the teachers talking fluently already!?
why are the over-active, skinny-as-fuck, cancer-ridden, old-ass women attracted to me?
3, you guys.
if not more....
3, you guys.
if not more....
9.24.2001
kevin is behind the times.
manuel did that annoying midi shit way back in the day....
also. organized religion was only good for way back in the day when people needed structure and something to keep them organized.
the catholic church had all the mons and made all the smarties.
muhammed used it to unite conflicting tribes and take over a lot of the known exsisting world at the time and eventually also organized extensive trade.
nowadays, we have government to keep control.
so who needs this organized religion?
and yes. people do get a hold of it and twist it to better their needs/purposes.
again, take the catholics or mormons.
then you always got those bitches that try to make it right again (agnon and Martin Luther).. but still...
(refer to my 2nd blog EVER if you want to know more about my thoughts on the subject.)
when did dork = non =er anymore?
she hid it just like me?
manuel did that annoying midi shit way back in the day....
also. organized religion was only good for way back in the day when people needed structure and something to keep them organized.
the catholic church had all the mons and made all the smarties.
muhammed used it to unite conflicting tribes and take over a lot of the known exsisting world at the time and eventually also organized extensive trade.
nowadays, we have government to keep control.
so who needs this organized religion?
and yes. people do get a hold of it and twist it to better their needs/purposes.
again, take the catholics or mormons.
then you always got those bitches that try to make it right again (agnon and Martin Luther).. but still...
(refer to my 2nd blog EVER if you want to know more about my thoughts on the subject.)
when did dork = non =er anymore?
she hid it just like me?
holy shit.
i watched 7th heaven tonight with kiris, jordan, and their other roomie cheryl.
that dads shit gets shat on from 7 different ways.
poor guy.
also. wilson = greaseball.
i watched 7th heaven tonight with kiris, jordan, and their other roomie cheryl.
that dads shit gets shat on from 7 different ways.
poor guy.
also. wilson = greaseball.
its weird.
i was thinking about this a couple days ago:
theres this chic at work that just recently started there.
she reminds me of this chic jordan. who used to live on the 9th floor in mcmahon.
events played out, and i became a dick for leading her on.
so i see this new chic at work, and she reminds me of her, and that reminder reminds me of what i did, and how im seemingly a dick, and how she hates me.
what a burden for someone that i dont even know....
then. the weird part.
i randomly see kiris online. she hasnt been in ages, actually since the night before the blink concert in vancouver.
so. pissed about misty, i decide we should do something.
so we go to red robin. it was ok. i guess. kinda lacking. everything except the fries.
but then we end up going back to where kiris is staying, which one of the people happens to be this jordan chic.
i ask, and she sez she wouldnt be back anytime soon.
but... she lied.
and she came back like not even an hr after we got there.
at least this time she acknowledged me.
i always felt like shit when i'd go visit kiris and michelle.
so mean without even saying a word.
but... we were civil.
dunno if im goin back, but we were civil.
actually it wasnt that bad.
and we talked. made some jokes.
but im sure she would have preferred my not being there.....
i was thinking about this a couple days ago:
theres this chic at work that just recently started there.
she reminds me of this chic jordan. who used to live on the 9th floor in mcmahon.
events played out, and i became a dick for leading her on.
so i see this new chic at work, and she reminds me of her, and that reminder reminds me of what i did, and how im seemingly a dick, and how she hates me.
what a burden for someone that i dont even know....
then. the weird part.
i randomly see kiris online. she hasnt been in ages, actually since the night before the blink concert in vancouver.
so. pissed about misty, i decide we should do something.
so we go to red robin. it was ok. i guess. kinda lacking. everything except the fries.
but then we end up going back to where kiris is staying, which one of the people happens to be this jordan chic.
i ask, and she sez she wouldnt be back anytime soon.
but... she lied.
and she came back like not even an hr after we got there.
at least this time she acknowledged me.
i always felt like shit when i'd go visit kiris and michelle.
so mean without even saying a word.
but... we were civil.
dunno if im goin back, but we were civil.
actually it wasnt that bad.
and we talked. made some jokes.
but im sure she would have preferred my not being there.....
school school schoolio.
damn what a day.
took me 20 mins to get there, 30 mins to find a fucking parking spot.
i inadvertantly ended up in a staff lot, but its all good, no ticket.
i wandered around looking for the fucking 800 building for english.
which happens to be the music building located in BFE, so i called that out and went to the 1800 building for the other, yet the longer wait-listed class.
i get there 5 mins late. bleh.
he sez that theres probably no problem with letting the extra people that showed up today in.
so im in! a passive doer, even. =)
spanish. dear lord.
they switched rooms with french 101.
what a pain. the teacher didnt so much like it, but whatever.
but one of the french people came in and i recognized her.
she was a swim manager from back in my juanita days.
the hottest one.
but shit. shes in french. dammit.
i dont think she noticed me.
i was in my usual spot; far corner.
so class gets goin, and about 10 mins in, i yawn.
the teacher gets all over my ass about it.
that ho. she asks my name and sez that now she wont forget it.
does she not know that im just a yawner?! its not my fault.
i yawn at work all day.
does she also not know that im probably the most overqualified for that class?
and shes giving me shit.
BEEYOTCH!
btw. to win amidy over with the hate for her,
she was telling of how she went to school in minnesota for a bit and had to deal with all the norgies, and how they have the worstest foods, and shits like that.
she kept goin off.
shes weird cuz my other teachers would either all the time talk in spanish or all the time talk in english (in a set amount of time).
but i think her mouth gets goin too fast for her brain, so every now and then she puts in an english phrase into her spanish.
damn shes a talker.
bio's bio.
same ol' shit.
i always hate the first week, cuz they want to instill the whole "scientific method" into your head by doing the retardedest experiments.
dont they know that we've known what that is ever since they introduced the fucking science to us? cmon you guys.
other than parking, the day went rather well.
their shits so disorganized. they just plop a lot around campus whenever they feel the need for one.
its pretty ghetto.
oh. but i actually talked to a couple people today.
especially in spanish and bio....
cuz they made me.
misty and i were supposed to do something today.
but shes not answering either phone.
i guess i shouldnt get that upset.
cuz shes got other priorities.
but usually shes good about keeping her word.
damn what a day.
took me 20 mins to get there, 30 mins to find a fucking parking spot.
i inadvertantly ended up in a staff lot, but its all good, no ticket.
i wandered around looking for the fucking 800 building for english.
which happens to be the music building located in BFE, so i called that out and went to the 1800 building for the other, yet the longer wait-listed class.
i get there 5 mins late. bleh.
he sez that theres probably no problem with letting the extra people that showed up today in.
so im in! a passive doer, even. =)
spanish. dear lord.
they switched rooms with french 101.
what a pain. the teacher didnt so much like it, but whatever.
but one of the french people came in and i recognized her.
she was a swim manager from back in my juanita days.
the hottest one.
but shit. shes in french. dammit.
i dont think she noticed me.
i was in my usual spot; far corner.
so class gets goin, and about 10 mins in, i yawn.
the teacher gets all over my ass about it.
that ho. she asks my name and sez that now she wont forget it.
does she not know that im just a yawner?! its not my fault.
i yawn at work all day.
does she also not know that im probably the most overqualified for that class?
and shes giving me shit.
BEEYOTCH!
btw. to win amidy over with the hate for her,
she was telling of how she went to school in minnesota for a bit and had to deal with all the norgies, and how they have the worstest foods, and shits like that.
she kept goin off.
shes weird cuz my other teachers would either all the time talk in spanish or all the time talk in english (in a set amount of time).
but i think her mouth gets goin too fast for her brain, so every now and then she puts in an english phrase into her spanish.
damn shes a talker.
bio's bio.
same ol' shit.
i always hate the first week, cuz they want to instill the whole "scientific method" into your head by doing the retardedest experiments.
dont they know that we've known what that is ever since they introduced the fucking science to us? cmon you guys.
other than parking, the day went rather well.
their shits so disorganized. they just plop a lot around campus whenever they feel the need for one.
its pretty ghetto.
oh. but i actually talked to a couple people today.
especially in spanish and bio....
cuz they made me.
misty and i were supposed to do something today.
but shes not answering either phone.
i guess i shouldnt get that upset.
cuz shes got other priorities.
but usually shes good about keeping her word.
9.23.2001
its dumb how you never take anyones advice when you dont want to hear it.
why the fuck would they give you it if it was bad?
they aint out to getchoo.
you just think you know better....
somehow.
but the outside observer with enough information, is a lot more unbiased and sees the whole picture better than your hopeful, desperate bitchass.
why the fuck would they give you it if it was bad?
they aint out to getchoo.
you just think you know better....
somehow.
but the outside observer with enough information, is a lot more unbiased and sees the whole picture better than your hopeful, desperate bitchass.
i have to mention her.
just to be a bitch =)
just to be a bitch =)
kevin mentions bitching at work.
i feel its just a way to keep sanity.
not only to feel important, but just to have something going on in your life.
something to do. something to "look forward" to.
you can share it with your co-workers and buddies.
its universal.
am i making any sense?
i feel its just a way to keep sanity.
not only to feel important, but just to have something going on in your life.
something to do. something to "look forward" to.
you can share it with your co-workers and buddies.
its universal.
am i making any sense?
hmm.
today was a fuckload of busy.
they put me down in no where cashiering land.
but then once the express person got booted out to go home, i was IN!
had this customer.
he walked up and wanted me to scan this bar code.
but the fucker was tattooed to his fucking chest.
on his left boob.
well, not on the meaty part, but up a bit toward the clavicle.
so i punched the fucker in, but no luck.
hes not an item from freds.
misty and i had lunch together.
our personalities go well together.
damn her married ass.
i need to find out about that english class.
like.. where it is and shit..
hmm. im thinking now would be a good time to do it.
im excited, but not, that schools starting...
im sure you know what i mean.
today was a fuckload of busy.
they put me down in no where cashiering land.
but then once the express person got booted out to go home, i was IN!
had this customer.
he walked up and wanted me to scan this bar code.
but the fucker was tattooed to his fucking chest.
on his left boob.
well, not on the meaty part, but up a bit toward the clavicle.
so i punched the fucker in, but no luck.
hes not an item from freds.
misty and i had lunch together.
our personalities go well together.
damn her married ass.
i need to find out about that english class.
like.. where it is and shit..
hmm. im thinking now would be a good time to do it.
im excited, but not, that schools starting...
im sure you know what i mean.
dood.
which one of yall thought i was a 32 yr old father of 3 still bustin my ass at freddys?
oh shit!
i just described the old chic that hits on me if she were a guy.
sweet buh-geezus.
tim? er. pierre?
which one of yall thought i was a 32 yr old father of 3 still bustin my ass at freddys?
oh shit!
i just described the old chic that hits on me if she were a guy.
sweet buh-geezus.
tim? er. pierre?
people always say im so funny.
but i think its just cuz im so sketchy.
i try to cover my ass or shatly explain something.
my bad. i dont think im funny.
but i think its just cuz im so sketchy.
i try to cover my ass or shatly explain something.
my bad. i dont think im funny.
heh.
manuels pic of the day for the 21st reminds me of my uncle.
i still fucking laugh my ass off when i look at it.
manuels pic of the day for the 21st reminds me of my uncle.
i still fucking laugh my ass off when i look at it.
9.22.2001
i love this.... pierre's chic:
Wednesday, September 19, 2001
I am just so angry with people lately, fed up, unable to tolerate. It's not a consuming anger: I don't go around grumbling under my breath, all scary and bitter, or walk around pissed and glaring. It's sporadic but heart-felt, pops up randomly.
I've said it before, but girls are just so fucking dumb. Vacant bitches, that's the term I decided to use today. Men are made only of dick, for the most part. None of this is news. Dumb girls, asshole men, whatever. It's not highly revolutionary, but damn. I can't stand anyone right now. Selfish, whiny, self-centered. Stupid. Giggly. Inconsiderate. Annoying. Annoying. Jesus hell, annoying.
3:59 PM | xoxo
I love my opposable thumbs. Love them.
3:06 PM | xoxo
Wednesday, September 19, 2001
I am just so angry with people lately, fed up, unable to tolerate. It's not a consuming anger: I don't go around grumbling under my breath, all scary and bitter, or walk around pissed and glaring. It's sporadic but heart-felt, pops up randomly.
I've said it before, but girls are just so fucking dumb. Vacant bitches, that's the term I decided to use today. Men are made only of dick, for the most part. None of this is news. Dumb girls, asshole men, whatever. It's not highly revolutionary, but damn. I can't stand anyone right now. Selfish, whiny, self-centered. Stupid. Giggly. Inconsiderate. Annoying. Annoying. Jesus hell, annoying.
3:59 PM | xoxo
I love my opposable thumbs. Love them.
3:06 PM | xoxo
heh. i just went in the tv room to give po the phone.
i saw 4 boys in the dark.
i could account for 3 of them.
air, po, and matt (leas lil bro).
but whos the 4th fucker?
i knew it wasnt, and didnt look like dan....
oh YEH! its keith.
how long has it been since hes hung out?
heh.
i saw 4 boys in the dark.
i could account for 3 of them.
air, po, and matt (leas lil bro).
but whos the 4th fucker?
i knew it wasnt, and didnt look like dan....
oh YEH! its keith.
how long has it been since hes hung out?
heh.
oh yes.
for some reason i thought the chix might like this...
seen weekly world news this week?
headline goes:
mans head explodes in barber's chair
the rest are all about kicking osamas ass.....
ghey.
for some reason i thought the chix might like this...
seen weekly world news this week?
headline goes:
mans head explodes in barber's chair
the rest are all about kicking osamas ass.....
ghey.
hmm. last time i took this test it was a bit different.
7.20.2001
apparently, according to wanks test, im high in avoidance and dependence.
seems about right.
booted by Trav Shinabarger at 5:26 PM
im not surprised about paranoid, but where the fuck did schizoid come from?!?
7.20.2001
apparently, according to wanks test, im high in avoidance and dependence.
seems about right.
booted by Trav Shinabarger at 5:26 PM
im not surprised about paranoid, but where the fuck did schizoid come from?!?
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Moderate |
| Schizoid: | High |
| Schizotypal: | Low |
| Antisocial: | Low |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | Low |
| Narcissistic: | Low |
| Avoidant: | Moderate |
| Dependent: | Moderate |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Low |
-- Click Here To Take The Test -- | |
such a happy mood today.
whats the deal?
i was saying hi to all employees.
i was interacting.
fooling around even.
hmm. i think this always happens.
being relaxed right before a big change, i.e. school.
like i'd always be more outgoing the last day of school.
like youre getting to know and be comfortable with everyone.
but then, after that. yer out.
im cutting my work hrs way back.
so i wont be seeing those people as much anymore.
thats all im trying to say.
whats the deal?
i was saying hi to all employees.
i was interacting.
fooling around even.
hmm. i think this always happens.
being relaxed right before a big change, i.e. school.
like i'd always be more outgoing the last day of school.
like youre getting to know and be comfortable with everyone.
but then, after that. yer out.
im cutting my work hrs way back.
so i wont be seeing those people as much anymore.
thats all im trying to say.
9.21.2001
duh wha?
this renewal in school thing always seemed to be the start of the new year to me.
starting out dark. small. everything new.
it seems also to be a time of reunion.
ive called up alexis. havent seen her in like a year.
ive been going back to totem lake, and this chic there sed we should hang out some time.
whats the deal?
is it just me? is it that im anticipating this lonesomeness again with mistys exit?
fuk if i know.
i never have the answers.
seems that keith ran into julia the other day. weird. thought that'd never happen.
that was another incident of girl dumping guy, and not on nice terms. (oh yes, then girl realizing her stupidity and wanting boy back, but NO SOUP, babY!)
but whatever.
back to misty.
yeh. boy on the side. boy being hopeful. boy knowing better, but not caring. hoping. dammit.
her intentions were good. but no good could come out of the situation.
but alas. shes a sucker. and goodwilled at heart.
does anything for her true man.
and shes out.
this renewal in school thing always seemed to be the start of the new year to me.
starting out dark. small. everything new.
it seems also to be a time of reunion.
ive called up alexis. havent seen her in like a year.
ive been going back to totem lake, and this chic there sed we should hang out some time.
whats the deal?
is it just me? is it that im anticipating this lonesomeness again with mistys exit?
fuk if i know.
i never have the answers.
seems that keith ran into julia the other day. weird. thought that'd never happen.
that was another incident of girl dumping guy, and not on nice terms. (oh yes, then girl realizing her stupidity and wanting boy back, but NO SOUP, babY!)
but whatever.
back to misty.
yeh. boy on the side. boy being hopeful. boy knowing better, but not caring. hoping. dammit.
her intentions were good. but no good could come out of the situation.
but alas. shes a sucker. and goodwilled at heart.
does anything for her true man.
and shes out.
thats fuckin hilarious.
all my sister's peepses are doing wanks personailty disorder test that was from airs blog.
but... lets see.
what was the date on that?
july 20th.
it just makes me laugh.
a lot.
really loud like.
cuz its only 7 posts from the top.
all my sister's peepses are doing wanks personailty disorder test that was from airs blog.
but... lets see.
what was the date on that?
july 20th.
it just makes me laugh.
a lot.
really loud like.
cuz its only 7 posts from the top.
im always so complacent.
its true.
as for secret crushes.
if they are revealed, or there is speculation, that really fucks shit up.
akwardness and a want for distancing becomes the main view in the relationship.
(for the one with the differing feelings).
is this making sense?
i had a friend at westmont that wanted my sack. (blunt?)
i couldnt handle it and would hide in my room (wasnt so hard, cuz shed get in trouble if she came in after hrs.)
she got whiny and confused and hurt, and i didnt know what to do about it other than to ignore it.
not the best way. but it works.
i think eventually there was a third party (lindsay-who is actually one of my best peeps that i talk to about all my emotional shits and trials with da wemenz, and there may have at a time been sexual tension, but has gone way past that now.) that stepped in and smoothed things out.
i feel there are a lot of secret crushes out there.
when are they ever going to be mutual? i hate it.
well. ok. mutual and also plausible.
i always feel like im playing by someone else's rules.
its true.
as for secret crushes.
if they are revealed, or there is speculation, that really fucks shit up.
akwardness and a want for distancing becomes the main view in the relationship.
(for the one with the differing feelings).
is this making sense?
i had a friend at westmont that wanted my sack. (blunt?)
i couldnt handle it and would hide in my room (wasnt so hard, cuz shed get in trouble if she came in after hrs.)
she got whiny and confused and hurt, and i didnt know what to do about it other than to ignore it.
not the best way. but it works.
i think eventually there was a third party (lindsay-who is actually one of my best peeps that i talk to about all my emotional shits and trials with da wemenz, and there may have at a time been sexual tension, but has gone way past that now.) that stepped in and smoothed things out.
i feel there are a lot of secret crushes out there.
when are they ever going to be mutual? i hate it.
well. ok. mutual and also plausible.
i always feel like im playing by someone else's rules.
bloggers getting too fucking outta hand.
so much new shit in such a short time.
what happened to the "read manuels, wanks, maybe tripats, then post"?
so much new shit in such a short time.
what happened to the "read manuels, wanks, maybe tripats, then post"?
hmm. responding to airs blog way back when.
yeh. im realizing the toll that shit took.
people today were talking about losing godparents and old associates and shit.
leaving behind wee little bitty babies, etc.
yeh its fucking sad. but i dont want to be constantly reminded of it, no matter how bad it is.
as for wanks latest post.
was that wank?
i think that had matt written all over it.
which is odd. cuz the fucker has his own.
yeh. im realizing the toll that shit took.
people today were talking about losing godparents and old associates and shit.
leaving behind wee little bitty babies, etc.
yeh its fucking sad. but i dont want to be constantly reminded of it, no matter how bad it is.
as for wanks latest post.
was that wank?
i think that had matt written all over it.
which is odd. cuz the fucker has his own.
today was slow.
so slow, that in fact i'd turn off my light, leave my register, and go talk to people.
one being misty who came in to get her paycheck and hrs...
shes out. oct 7th. fuckin spokane called her today.
goddammit.
i also talked to the old chic.
she wants to know when im able to go to lunch again =P
cuz i bought last time, so now its her turn.
damn her trickery.
she was telling me today on how her like 5 yr old son commented on how nice of a "booty" she had.
she thought that was wrong. but i guess that whole oedipus thing is worse than merely a 12 yr difference.
observation of the day:
the flamingly gay get all the prissy bitches.
so this morning i was kinda worried when i felt the constriction of the shoe on my toe.
but it eventually became un-noticeable, although i do walk like i did back when my toenail was ripped off on my other foot.
oh yeh! for those of you in the dark, manuel and i were playing wall-ball in wanks deserted room.
i went to kick the bastard, but i kicked the wall. rip on the tip of my toe. no good. i dont think its broke or nuthin though.
today on the way to work in the mini, i didnt even notice until a couple blocks from work, but i had a passenger. in the fucking passenger seat.
i guess last night a spider had made his way in there, and built a web right where a person would go.
if i was sitting in the seat, the spider would be right squaw in the middle of my chest.
i let him be. hes still there.....
well. i get to trade him and the van for my shat car.
hmm. i was just informed that im getting $5500. not too shabby.
dammit misty. stand up for yourself.
(i think its already too late)
so slow, that in fact i'd turn off my light, leave my register, and go talk to people.
one being misty who came in to get her paycheck and hrs...
shes out. oct 7th. fuckin spokane called her today.
goddammit.
i also talked to the old chic.
she wants to know when im able to go to lunch again =P
cuz i bought last time, so now its her turn.
damn her trickery.
she was telling me today on how her like 5 yr old son commented on how nice of a "booty" she had.
she thought that was wrong. but i guess that whole oedipus thing is worse than merely a 12 yr difference.
observation of the day:
the flamingly gay get all the prissy bitches.
so this morning i was kinda worried when i felt the constriction of the shoe on my toe.
but it eventually became un-noticeable, although i do walk like i did back when my toenail was ripped off on my other foot.
oh yeh! for those of you in the dark, manuel and i were playing wall-ball in wanks deserted room.
i went to kick the bastard, but i kicked the wall. rip on the tip of my toe. no good. i dont think its broke or nuthin though.
today on the way to work in the mini, i didnt even notice until a couple blocks from work, but i had a passenger. in the fucking passenger seat.
i guess last night a spider had made his way in there, and built a web right where a person would go.
if i was sitting in the seat, the spider would be right squaw in the middle of my chest.
i let him be. hes still there.....
well. i get to trade him and the van for my shat car.
hmm. i was just informed that im getting $5500. not too shabby.
dammit misty. stand up for yourself.
(i think its already too late)
ak.
too late to read all these blogs.
misty and i were guna chill today, but shes sicker than fuck.
dammit.
and shes leaving soon....
too late to read all these blogs.
misty and i were guna chill today, but shes sicker than fuck.
dammit.
and shes leaving soon....
9.20.2001
here i am, overblogging again.
is this cyclical?
neways. i never look at my blog enough to realize the void of color.
...not like im gunna do anything about it anyway....
is this cyclical?
neways. i never look at my blog enough to realize the void of color.
...not like im gunna do anything about it anyway....
yeh.
so when im on break, and a random CCK (my dept) person that seems nice, and also seems to be an opportunity, i try to talk to then.
i talked to one boss that new my big head boss from totem lake, and a couple other people. that was cool.
but today i was walking to the bathroom, and this short middle-aged checker was all like que tal?
surprised i responded, bien, but really had to take care of business first.
so after that was taken care of.
i came back and spent my whole break (and a bit more) talking to her.
telling of all my spanish experience, etc.
going to spain, wanting to go to south america.... almost going this summer, but having it fall through....
museums, trips, points of interest. she knew them all.
apparently shes from columbia.
she highly recommended going to chile, argentina, and brazil.
which were the 3 fuckers on the top of my list anyway.
she was talking to me in spanish, and i kinda got it, but she was talking so low, and any distraction fucks with you big time.
but im glad im taking spanish again.
its somewhat of a passion/hobbie. who the fuck knows why.
maybe because it comes so easily to me, and again, who the fuck knows why.
but i do realize, that i can read and understand it, but speaking? damn. thats hard shit.
i wonder if 201 will be too easy? probably. but i cant take 202 or 203 til their respective quarters.
and im runnin outta interesting shit to take at these CCs.
another thing.
i wish gymnastics wasnt looked upon as so homo.
those fags are buff though.
when i get bored at work, and no ones around, i fuck around like im on the goddamn parallel bars or the rings or some shit. doing dips and whatnot.
express lane rocks. theres so much time to fuck around with.
but your neighbors get pissed cuz youre denying the overloaded fuckers left and right, so naturally where do they go? to the poor fucks next door, even if theres open lanes a couple down. heh.
i was covered on each side by two bitches today, so i didnt really mind. =D
i got a half hr lunch today. ran into misty in the break room. shes kinda sick. she got some water and chilled outside with me (she was parceling [pushing carts] today).
she sat wtih me the whole time i had. and i was even late getting back. the funny thing was that she was only there today for 4 hrs, and spent a half hr with me. heh.
no one knew. no one even noticed i was late.
oh. she might be selling her car to the dude i talk to in the deli.
his car dun busted and he cant afford to fix it.
everyone comments on her. to me...
ya know? like.
whats up with you guys?
uh.. she married.
damn. but she likes you, i can tell.
=/
i know.
so when im on break, and a random CCK (my dept) person that seems nice, and also seems to be an opportunity, i try to talk to then.
i talked to one boss that new my big head boss from totem lake, and a couple other people. that was cool.
but today i was walking to the bathroom, and this short middle-aged checker was all like que tal?
surprised i responded, bien, but really had to take care of business first.
so after that was taken care of.
i came back and spent my whole break (and a bit more) talking to her.
telling of all my spanish experience, etc.
going to spain, wanting to go to south america.... almost going this summer, but having it fall through....
museums, trips, points of interest. she knew them all.
apparently shes from columbia.
she highly recommended going to chile, argentina, and brazil.
which were the 3 fuckers on the top of my list anyway.
she was talking to me in spanish, and i kinda got it, but she was talking so low, and any distraction fucks with you big time.
but im glad im taking spanish again.
its somewhat of a passion/hobbie. who the fuck knows why.
maybe because it comes so easily to me, and again, who the fuck knows why.
but i do realize, that i can read and understand it, but speaking? damn. thats hard shit.
i wonder if 201 will be too easy? probably. but i cant take 202 or 203 til their respective quarters.
and im runnin outta interesting shit to take at these CCs.
another thing.
i wish gymnastics wasnt looked upon as so homo.
those fags are buff though.
when i get bored at work, and no ones around, i fuck around like im on the goddamn parallel bars or the rings or some shit. doing dips and whatnot.
express lane rocks. theres so much time to fuck around with.
but your neighbors get pissed cuz youre denying the overloaded fuckers left and right, so naturally where do they go? to the poor fucks next door, even if theres open lanes a couple down. heh.
i was covered on each side by two bitches today, so i didnt really mind. =D
i got a half hr lunch today. ran into misty in the break room. shes kinda sick. she got some water and chilled outside with me (she was parceling [pushing carts] today).
she sat wtih me the whole time i had. and i was even late getting back. the funny thing was that she was only there today for 4 hrs, and spent a half hr with me. heh.
no one knew. no one even noticed i was late.
oh. she might be selling her car to the dude i talk to in the deli.
his car dun busted and he cant afford to fix it.
everyone comments on her. to me...
ya know? like.
whats up with you guys?
uh.. she married.
damn. but she likes you, i can tell.
=/
i know.
i think i forgot to mention the real point of my story about the two people yesterday....
i guess you just never know when you can feel for someone, cuz a lot of the time theyre just out looking for empathy/attention by self-enhancing the shatness of their situation.
what made me fall back to this trip again?
certainly not el senor boote.
i guess i had this cynicism in me all along.
i guess you just never know when you can feel for someone, cuz a lot of the time theyre just out looking for empathy/attention by self-enhancing the shatness of their situation.
what made me fall back to this trip again?
certainly not el senor boote.
i guess i had this cynicism in me all along.
9.19.2001
too many fake people in the world.
all searching for that extra bit of attention. some way to be unique and stick out.
they want their "due" recognition.
yesterday i was seeing what my job was to be at our little corner of an office.
an employee that as of late has had one shat surgery to the next. ranging from foot to knee to mouth.
she hobbles in on crutches. support around her knee.
leaning back, stretching for the wall, tipping as to not bend the knee, sharp pain grips her, gritting her teeth.
me and my boss just watch. what to do? how to help. grab an arm?
no.
my boss offers a smartkart.
no. the old people need those.
shes doing her damnedest to come in to give them a note to say that she cant work thursday.
trapped in the small corner, not wanting to look at the pain on her face, trapped, i bolt out with the excuse of grabbing that necessary smart kart.
i hurry to it, but its no need. the slug of a kart takes its time getting back to the propped up employee.
i try to angle it as best i can, but shes still in pain no matter what.
she finally sets herself into it and trudges away.
fuck. getting in the car to leave will be a bitch.
but i have work to do, and i dont want to see anymore pain.
today i was barely busy. stuck way down at the unknown registers. solitary and hidden, even with a blaring light above my head.
no one seems to notice my existence.
my old lady friend calls me up.
her voice is nasally. stuffy.
im sthick. 101 degree fever.
oh, im sorry. are you going home soon?
yeh. as soon as they can let me
...but then i bring up something that sparks her attention.
i forget exactly what, but immediately the nasal, dying, suffering voice virtually dissappeared.
overexaggerating.... wanting of my sympathy.
mostly all an act...
compare the two.....
why fucking be so unreal?
whys there always a twisting or holding back of the truth?
it pisses me off.
all searching for that extra bit of attention. some way to be unique and stick out.
they want their "due" recognition.
yesterday i was seeing what my job was to be at our little corner of an office.
an employee that as of late has had one shat surgery to the next. ranging from foot to knee to mouth.
she hobbles in on crutches. support around her knee.
leaning back, stretching for the wall, tipping as to not bend the knee, sharp pain grips her, gritting her teeth.
me and my boss just watch. what to do? how to help. grab an arm?
no.
my boss offers a smartkart.
no. the old people need those.
shes doing her damnedest to come in to give them a note to say that she cant work thursday.
trapped in the small corner, not wanting to look at the pain on her face, trapped, i bolt out with the excuse of grabbing that necessary smart kart.
i hurry to it, but its no need. the slug of a kart takes its time getting back to the propped up employee.
i try to angle it as best i can, but shes still in pain no matter what.
she finally sets herself into it and trudges away.
fuck. getting in the car to leave will be a bitch.
but i have work to do, and i dont want to see anymore pain.
today i was barely busy. stuck way down at the unknown registers. solitary and hidden, even with a blaring light above my head.
no one seems to notice my existence.
my old lady friend calls me up.
her voice is nasally. stuffy.
im sthick. 101 degree fever.
oh, im sorry. are you going home soon?
yeh. as soon as they can let me
...but then i bring up something that sparks her attention.
i forget exactly what, but immediately the nasal, dying, suffering voice virtually dissappeared.
overexaggerating.... wanting of my sympathy.
mostly all an act...
compare the two.....
why fucking be so unreal?
whys there always a twisting or holding back of the truth?
it pisses me off.
my shat bitch of a car.
it was driveable, but now they tell me its irrepairable.
i think i get unmotivated and depressed when theres no one around during prime time...
and im not really going to do anything about it either right now.
fuck the fucking asshole that hit my car.
fuck him.
he created an ass of a problem and it was NONE of my fault.
fuck him for trying to blame it on me.
fuck him for not even attempting to stop til i had my fucking headlights up his ass.
hes a bitch.
he gives me unneeded stress.
he thought he could get away with something.
not that ive never tried it, but im at least a bit more cautious.
damn him.
fucker.
so much emotion, too small of ways for expression.
that jackass.
i know his face.......... i hate it.
it was driveable, but now they tell me its irrepairable.
i think i get unmotivated and depressed when theres no one around during prime time...
and im not really going to do anything about it either right now.
fuck the fucking asshole that hit my car.
fuck him.
he created an ass of a problem and it was NONE of my fault.
fuck him for trying to blame it on me.
fuck him for not even attempting to stop til i had my fucking headlights up his ass.
hes a bitch.
he gives me unneeded stress.
he thought he could get away with something.
not that ive never tried it, but im at least a bit more cautious.
damn him.
fucker.
so much emotion, too small of ways for expression.
that jackass.
i know his face.......... i hate it.
huh.
everyone just left.
what to do...
everyones out.
everyone.
matt and Bs place called as they left.
i'd have no prob with going there, but i dont know if i want to move just yet.
hmm.
one group of friends.
kinda limits you when theyre all gone.
living alone would suck nuts.
i think im actually ready for summer to be over.
but.... maybe not this weekend.
shit.
everyone just left.
what to do...
everyones out.
everyone.
matt and Bs place called as they left.
i'd have no prob with going there, but i dont know if i want to move just yet.
hmm.
one group of friends.
kinda limits you when theyre all gone.
living alone would suck nuts.
i think im actually ready for summer to be over.
but.... maybe not this weekend.
shit.
two old friends have come to me for advice.
jesus. this other one is draining enough..
ak.
but of course im here to help =P
jesus. this other one is draining enough..
ak.
but of course im here to help =P
i put so much faith into someone i hardly know....
i think shes worth it.
no one should be pained like that by a loved one.
damn him for not noticing what hes doing to her.
making her choose him over her family.
she keeps saying
its only 4 months.
i fucking hope so.
i think shes worth it.
no one should be pained like that by a loved one.
damn him for not noticing what hes doing to her.
making her choose him over her family.
she keeps saying
its only 4 months.
i fucking hope so.
this was brought back to light the other night.
blogs are the impress and/or preach.
how better to grab attention than to name.
blogs are the impress and/or preach.
how better to grab attention than to name.
9.18.2001
hmm.
my yearning for companionship and a relationship have morphed into a need to help a friend.
shattered shes torn between making a (failed?) marriage work, and being surrounded by the family and friends that love her.
i try to stay unbiased.
i dont know her husband.
but shit.
look at her broken down self. shes in tears. she doesnt want to go.
hes making her unhappy. all for his selfish reasons to keep tabs on her while hes away.
of course i only most likely get the bad parts of the story, seeing as how theyre most pertinent to why theres so much drama,
but this guy.... her husband.
isnt giving her what she deserves.
her own fucking life.
to make her own fucking choices.
he should trust her.
sure, one might have doubts. but who the fuck are you if you dont let people be who they want to be?
she isnt doing anything bad.
she wont allow it.
she is loyal. shes fucking true.
my opinion.
hes an ass.
but of course anyone in my situation would say this, so actually spelling it out is what matters.
but im glad shes found someone to comfort her.
it seems that those are the kind of people that find me.
i just want to make people happy.
as a man. i always have that subconcious doubt of if i might actually have a hidden motive.
i pray to fuck i dont.
then what kind of person am i?
my yearning for companionship and a relationship have morphed into a need to help a friend.
shattered shes torn between making a (failed?) marriage work, and being surrounded by the family and friends that love her.
i try to stay unbiased.
i dont know her husband.
but shit.
look at her broken down self. shes in tears. she doesnt want to go.
hes making her unhappy. all for his selfish reasons to keep tabs on her while hes away.
of course i only most likely get the bad parts of the story, seeing as how theyre most pertinent to why theres so much drama,
but this guy.... her husband.
isnt giving her what she deserves.
her own fucking life.
to make her own fucking choices.
he should trust her.
sure, one might have doubts. but who the fuck are you if you dont let people be who they want to be?
she isnt doing anything bad.
she wont allow it.
she is loyal. shes fucking true.
my opinion.
hes an ass.
but of course anyone in my situation would say this, so actually spelling it out is what matters.
but im glad shes found someone to comfort her.
it seems that those are the kind of people that find me.
i just want to make people happy.
as a man. i always have that subconcious doubt of if i might actually have a hidden motive.
i pray to fuck i dont.
then what kind of person am i?
sorrow turning to confusion, and a back to a bit of frustration.
today.
i was trying to ask my bosses what i was to do.
the produce guy (flagrant homo) comes up.
they start talking, and he was saying how his friend told him his performance was slipping.
to where my one boss with the stick up his ass replies by saying.
oh its time to get new knee pads then, eh?
immediately after.
they all fucking gawk at me.
oh look travis is trying to say something.
but i couldnt quite place my words.
after he just verbally assaulted this homo, and they all had a good chuckle over it.
so yeh. i guess thats true flagrancy.
also.
i was coming back from break.
i was in apparel.
there was an intersection a bit away.
as im approaching, this elderly man (80?) is coming from my left down this intersection.
he crosses first with like maybe a good 5 feet to spare.
then. ppppppppllllllllllllllbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbtttttttt.
the geezer fuckin rips a loud one.
maybe he was deaf.
maybe he couldnt control it.
maybe he was a bit embarrassed,
but the man just kept walking like not a damn thing had happened.
never looked back.
i didnt really sti(n)ck around to think about it much though.
damn.
fuckin misty.
call me!
you used to.......
today.
i was trying to ask my bosses what i was to do.
the produce guy (flagrant homo) comes up.
they start talking, and he was saying how his friend told him his performance was slipping.
to where my one boss with the stick up his ass replies by saying.
oh its time to get new knee pads then, eh?
immediately after.
they all fucking gawk at me.
oh look travis is trying to say something.
but i couldnt quite place my words.
after he just verbally assaulted this homo, and they all had a good chuckle over it.
so yeh. i guess thats true flagrancy.
also.
i was coming back from break.
i was in apparel.
there was an intersection a bit away.
as im approaching, this elderly man (80?) is coming from my left down this intersection.
he crosses first with like maybe a good 5 feet to spare.
then. ppppppppllllllllllllllbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbtttttttt.
the geezer fuckin rips a loud one.
maybe he was deaf.
maybe he couldnt control it.
maybe he was a bit embarrassed,
but the man just kept walking like not a damn thing had happened.
never looked back.
i didnt really sti(n)ck around to think about it much though.
damn.
fuckin misty.
call me!
you used to.......
suc·cinct [sk sÃngkt , sk sÃngt ] adjective
1. brief and to the point: showing or expressed with brevity and clarity, with no wasted words
damn you MD wannabe. =P
1. brief and to the point: showing or expressed with brevity and clarity, with no wasted words
damn you MD wannabe. =P
today was actually really fucking odd.
emotions changed drastically. some things seemed to fall into place, others out.
there was hilarity but i dont feel up to sharing it right now.
closer to some, further from others.
emotions changed drastically. some things seemed to fall into place, others out.
there was hilarity but i dont feel up to sharing it right now.
closer to some, further from others.
hum de dum dumb.
so all this frustration is turned to sadness with one visit from her whilst working.
she approached me.
i asked her what was the matter..
im moving.
to where!? what?? why!?!?
spokane to live with her husband's sister.
she doesnt want to. all her family's over here.
ya know.
what is that?
this boy must have deep trust issues. to where he wants a big sister to look over her.
granted im in the fucking equation somehow, but not really to justify it, but she didnt start hanging out with me til after he told her he wanted a divorce.
she told me shes always loyal, may not stick around long, but loyal.
i couldnt see it then, cuz there i was. but i think i see it now.
this guy had better be a great guy for her to give up her happiness, and for him to think that its the right thing to do.
she was so bummed.
she cant even get up the nerve to tell her sister.
she came in today and got some for sale signs for her car, seeing as how it probably wont make it up the pass.
this guy.
whats this guy doing?
i cant totally say that im not going to be selfish about the situation, but he should see her....
hmph.
we got pretty close in a short amount of time.
she was/is a lot like me.
i dont think it was both of us just looking for someone in our lonely times...
fuck me.
i'll miss her.
she was becoming a good friend.
goddammit.
godfuckingdammit.
she wants to make it work.
shes the better of the two.
what a genuinely nice, humble, selfless, caring person.
goddammit.
she approached me near the beggining of my shift to tell me this.
... the whole time i think i was actually more assertive, talkative, and outgoing, just to hide my real emotions.
she came up a second time to buy that shit.
saw my face and had to fight back the tears.
jesus.
i wasnt doing so well myself.
this is assed.
so all this frustration is turned to sadness with one visit from her whilst working.
she approached me.
i asked her what was the matter..
im moving.
to where!? what?? why!?!?
spokane to live with her husband's sister.
she doesnt want to. all her family's over here.
ya know.
what is that?
this boy must have deep trust issues. to where he wants a big sister to look over her.
granted im in the fucking equation somehow, but not really to justify it, but she didnt start hanging out with me til after he told her he wanted a divorce.
she told me shes always loyal, may not stick around long, but loyal.
i couldnt see it then, cuz there i was. but i think i see it now.
this guy had better be a great guy for her to give up her happiness, and for him to think that its the right thing to do.
she was so bummed.
she cant even get up the nerve to tell her sister.
she came in today and got some for sale signs for her car, seeing as how it probably wont make it up the pass.
this guy.
whats this guy doing?
i cant totally say that im not going to be selfish about the situation, but he should see her....
hmph.
we got pretty close in a short amount of time.
she was/is a lot like me.
i dont think it was both of us just looking for someone in our lonely times...
fuck me.
i'll miss her.
she was becoming a good friend.
goddammit.
godfuckingdammit.
she wants to make it work.
shes the better of the two.
what a genuinely nice, humble, selfless, caring person.
goddammit.
she approached me near the beggining of my shift to tell me this.
... the whole time i think i was actually more assertive, talkative, and outgoing, just to hide my real emotions.
she came up a second time to buy that shit.
saw my face and had to fight back the tears.
jesus.
i wasnt doing so well myself.
this is assed.
what i need to deal with is that its not me breaking any bonds of trust, but her.
so why should i trust her?
why should i let her break that trust?
why does she want to?
is he an asshole?
i dont even know him.
he could be just like me... but married...
fuck.
so why should i trust her?
why should i let her break that trust?
why does she want to?
is he an asshole?
i dont even know him.
he could be just like me... but married...
fuck.
9.17.2001
actually.
now that amidy mentions it:
my sister has just become the laziest person EVER!
surpassing any of wanks hopes of glory. shes shattered them all.
she doesnt hardly even get up any more.
why do i care so much? its been bothering me a lot.
i couldnt say.
now that amidy mentions it:
my sister has just become the laziest person EVER!
surpassing any of wanks hopes of glory. shes shattered them all.
she doesnt hardly even get up any more.
why do i care so much? its been bothering me a lot.
i couldnt say.
i like people that open up on blogger.
cuz you get to see this insight and knowledge of everyday shit that you wouldnt normally get to.
that and you can just read and agree, and think to yourself.
cool. if that happens to them, then maybe im normal. or maybe no one is....
you other guys....
you just suck. 0=)
(halo)
cuz you get to see this insight and knowledge of everyday shit that you wouldnt normally get to.
that and you can just read and agree, and think to yourself.
cool. if that happens to them, then maybe im normal. or maybe no one is....
you other guys....
you just suck. 0=)
(halo)
fuck.
i didnt want to blog about it again.
but shit.
wank. we arent upset that you moved out.
we were fed up with the lack of respect for people living in the house.
by all that were there that night. not just you.
im done.
i didnt want to blog about it again.
but shit.
wank. we arent upset that you moved out.
we were fed up with the lack of respect for people living in the house.
by all that were there that night. not just you.
im done.
yup. called out.
i keep thinking about what my real problem with the situation is...
i think its just that i dislike media.
oh. and also, as a coping agent i tend to lean a little towards denial.
i keep thinking about what my real problem with the situation is...
i think its just that i dislike media.
oh. and also, as a coping agent i tend to lean a little towards denial.
im so irresponsible.
and i get upset at myself for it, then get pissy at other people.
dah.
dood. so whats up with always trying to be so moral?
how really gives a fuck?
and who wants to be told whats right & wrong, good or bad....
and i get upset at myself for it, then get pissy at other people.
dah.
dood. so whats up with always trying to be so moral?
how really gives a fuck?
and who wants to be told whats right & wrong, good or bad....
9.16.2001
theres a lotta people out there that have nothing better to do than to continually sit infront of the tv and watch whats going on on the other oceanfront. and i guess the general military mobilization.
why is it that i never give a fuck?
desert storm, LA riots (april 26th 1992, riots on the street, now where were you?), princess di, and now.
i cant say that none of those really effected my life, cuz shit, i was living in LA.
i guess i just try to hide.
that and i couldnt give a shit about politics.
why has there been more emotion lately?
is it just a subconcious thing? or coincidence?
aside from feuding bloggers, i still use this beeyotch to type out my thoughts and concerns that only deal with other people if they feel a connection toward what i am saying...
change is a fucking bitch.
with respect to time its the only thing thats constant. (i'll probably end up being told otherwise, but what-the fuck-ever)
deal with it, missy.
i dont want to fucking work.
this is a day of reflection.
i only have monday off next week.
good thing though, cuz thats when i have to take my car in to see if its totaled.
....so theres how i'll be spending my only time off.
schools fast approaching, and although they know i'll want to cut my hrs and change my availability, i havent gotten around to figuring out exactly what that will be.
i guess im feeling more lonely and hurt than the last time i thought i was gunna post hella.
thats when i had shit goin on to keep my mind occupied.
mels right.
played.
wish it werent so.
why is it that i never give a fuck?
desert storm, LA riots (april 26th 1992, riots on the street, now where were you?), princess di, and now.
i cant say that none of those really effected my life, cuz shit, i was living in LA.
i guess i just try to hide.
that and i couldnt give a shit about politics.
why has there been more emotion lately?
is it just a subconcious thing? or coincidence?
aside from feuding bloggers, i still use this beeyotch to type out my thoughts and concerns that only deal with other people if they feel a connection toward what i am saying...
change is a fucking bitch.
with respect to time its the only thing thats constant. (i'll probably end up being told otherwise, but what-the fuck-ever)
deal with it, missy.
i dont want to fucking work.
this is a day of reflection.
i only have monday off next week.
good thing though, cuz thats when i have to take my car in to see if its totaled.
....so theres how i'll be spending my only time off.
schools fast approaching, and although they know i'll want to cut my hrs and change my availability, i havent gotten around to figuring out exactly what that will be.
i guess im feeling more lonely and hurt than the last time i thought i was gunna post hella.
thats when i had shit goin on to keep my mind occupied.
mels right.
played.
wish it werent so.
what the fuck was i thinking?
shes married!!
i couldnt be that important to her.
thats just a given....
dammit manuel.
you live to fucking far away now.
shes married!!
i couldnt be that important to her.
thats just a given....
dammit manuel.
you live to fucking far away now.
so i guess im figuring out what i can get away with, and becoming an asshole in the process.
lindsay never spoke to me after my comment, and i was talking to justin.
my old roomie thats in the marines....giving him shit and what not in my drunken stupor.
AbsoluteNut77 (2:56:21 AM): sorry, got WAR to prepare for but that's cool
now i feel dumb.
lindsay never spoke to me after my comment, and i was talking to justin.
my old roomie thats in the marines....giving him shit and what not in my drunken stupor.
AbsoluteNut77 (2:56:21 AM): sorry, got WAR to prepare for but that's cool
now i feel dumb.
its peculiar.
i dont want to think bad thoughts, but i cant help it.
i think i was more of an assertive ass tonight.
one can never tell by themself.
did that make sense? no.
how am i spelling all this shit right?
um. i guess i'll call her and see how she doesnt have time for me.
i told you people get tired of me after a while of knowing me....
po says blogs are for pussys. or something to that effect.
to an extent thats kinda it.
like even wank was saying (i think) that you just hide behind the fucking screen.
its true.
you can be as brutal as you please.
that aint cool.
have the balls to call someone out in person.
or have the courtesy to not do it at all.
i feel like ass.
when i call her, im just gunna be like... damn. i need to go to bed now.
to which shed say.. thats good.
cuz i got my own shit goin on anyway.
i dont really care. even though it seems i do, i just want to know what the fuck is up with that rock on her finger.
and if shes playing me or not..
i dont want to think bad thoughts, but i cant help it.
i think i was more of an assertive ass tonight.
one can never tell by themself.
did that make sense? no.
how am i spelling all this shit right?
um. i guess i'll call her and see how she doesnt have time for me.
i told you people get tired of me after a while of knowing me....
po says blogs are for pussys. or something to that effect.
to an extent thats kinda it.
like even wank was saying (i think) that you just hide behind the fucking screen.
its true.
you can be as brutal as you please.
that aint cool.
have the balls to call someone out in person.
or have the courtesy to not do it at all.
i feel like ass.
when i call her, im just gunna be like... damn. i need to go to bed now.
to which shed say.. thats good.
cuz i got my own shit goin on anyway.
i dont really care. even though it seems i do, i just want to know what the fuck is up with that rock on her finger.
and if shes playing me or not..
9.15.2001
i think these different situations that have been put in my way are turning me into an asshole.
or maybe i always was, and im just now caring less how i affect other people rather than myself.
ashleigh for example. generic asshole.
also tonight im talking to a westmont friend.
shes talking about an interest, but that she might need to have a "come to jesus" talk.
my response: dammit. are you out to convert? she hasnt responded yet... hmm.
i read ryans blog last night. how he despises the self righteous christians.
there were a shit load at westmont, the better than thou kind.
but actually they werent. they had their whole fucking facade.
but since they did all the actions, i.e. go to church, chappy, didnt swear, have bible study, then their all good. and everyone else is below them.
hmm.. i thought these people called themselves christians, not catholics.
i think i got a bit off the subject.
what was i saying?
i dunno i got interrupted a lot.
does it really matter that just a boy/girlfriend is of your same religion?
only a boy/girlfriend. its not like you are or will fucking marry them.
just enjoy whats there, and see how things go.
datings just to see what you want in a person... so im told.
or maybe i always was, and im just now caring less how i affect other people rather than myself.
ashleigh for example. generic asshole.
also tonight im talking to a westmont friend.
shes talking about an interest, but that she might need to have a "come to jesus" talk.
my response: dammit. are you out to convert? she hasnt responded yet... hmm.
i read ryans blog last night. how he despises the self righteous christians.
there were a shit load at westmont, the better than thou kind.
but actually they werent. they had their whole fucking facade.
but since they did all the actions, i.e. go to church, chappy, didnt swear, have bible study, then their all good. and everyone else is below them.
hmm.. i thought these people called themselves christians, not catholics.
i think i got a bit off the subject.
what was i saying?
i dunno i got interrupted a lot.
does it really matter that just a boy/girlfriend is of your same religion?
only a boy/girlfriend. its not like you are or will fucking marry them.
just enjoy whats there, and see how things go.
datings just to see what you want in a person... so im told.
you know what i dont get, is who am i for misty to pick to hang out with?
do i just seem like a sucker, or what?
but i check next to her, and i see these guys hitting on her, and she'll look at me and roll her eyes, ya know. saying how dumb they are... to me.
like somehow insinuating that im not like that. and every other guy is dumb.
why the fuck pick me though? who am i?
theres a lot more charming, hilarious, mature men out there.
im no one.
and whats worse, i hate my hair, and she gets to see it every fucking time we work together.
what the fuck. ...
doesnt she realize shes married??!
i sure fucking do.
hurry up and get a damn divorce.
i just know im being toyed with.....
but its so damn fun.
she calls me adorable.
that seems to be my theme.
but shit, whats that?
im a little fucking teddy bear? with a fucking red ribbon?
i dunno. its time to
shut up.
do i just seem like a sucker, or what?
but i check next to her, and i see these guys hitting on her, and she'll look at me and roll her eyes, ya know. saying how dumb they are... to me.
like somehow insinuating that im not like that. and every other guy is dumb.
why the fuck pick me though? who am i?
theres a lot more charming, hilarious, mature men out there.
im no one.
and whats worse, i hate my hair, and she gets to see it every fucking time we work together.
what the fuck. ...
doesnt she realize shes married??!
i sure fucking do.
hurry up and get a damn divorce.
i just know im being toyed with.....
but its so damn fun.
she calls me adorable.
that seems to be my theme.
but shit, whats that?
im a little fucking teddy bear? with a fucking red ribbon?
i dunno. its time to
shut up.
if i wasnt watching it on tv at work, i would have laughed really hard.
but since i only watch tv at work, or seldom other random times, i didnt.
neways.
dr joyce brothers was being interviewed by one of the major news stations, and she was saying how people who actively get involved in helping out rather than just writing out a check will most likely live 10 yrs longer than those that dont. heh.
so lemme get this striaght. i could pick up chain smoking, but also volunteer, then i can just be happy and die when i was supposed to... good idea.
i love the fucking media.
oh wait. no i dont.
but since i only watch tv at work, or seldom other random times, i didnt.
neways.
dr joyce brothers was being interviewed by one of the major news stations, and she was saying how people who actively get involved in helping out rather than just writing out a check will most likely live 10 yrs longer than those that dont. heh.
so lemme get this striaght. i could pick up chain smoking, but also volunteer, then i can just be happy and die when i was supposed to... good idea.
i love the fucking media.
oh wait. no i dont.
if only we could go back to the way it was before blogging. trav would still be reserved, never starting crap with anyone.
first of all.
last night was no fucking blog.
secondly,
everyone has their breaking point. whether their temper be short or strung out.
regardless of blogs, mine finally came to and end. picked on constantly. probably not from malicious intents, but picked on nonetheless.
im guessing that it may have just been a bit of a surprise because none of you except possibly my high school chums had ever seen it before. it takes a lot.
but, it was going to happen, and did. and id like you to know that im just like you in that i let it build til it all pours out.
i'd like to say i dont know why you just cant leave it be, but here i am, constantly adding. giving just one more remark.
so we're shat.
what can we do about it?
chill?
fuckin let things cool for a bit?
i dunno.
you were a damn good roomie.
but shit got started and it snowballed.
suckocity to the max.
first of all.
last night was no fucking blog.
secondly,
everyone has their breaking point. whether their temper be short or strung out.
regardless of blogs, mine finally came to and end. picked on constantly. probably not from malicious intents, but picked on nonetheless.
im guessing that it may have just been a bit of a surprise because none of you except possibly my high school chums had ever seen it before. it takes a lot.
but, it was going to happen, and did. and id like you to know that im just like you in that i let it build til it all pours out.
i'd like to say i dont know why you just cant leave it be, but here i am, constantly adding. giving just one more remark.
so we're shat.
what can we do about it?
chill?
fuckin let things cool for a bit?
i dunno.
you were a damn good roomie.
but shit got started and it snowballed.
suckocity to the max.
manuel needs to get his gaffed ass home.
or at least give me a fucking call.
...as i only know that he lives like 20 blocks in some direction from my work and have no # to get ahold of him at.
or at least give me a fucking call.
...as i only know that he lives like 20 blocks in some direction from my work and have no # to get ahold of him at.
getting away??
you create your fucking problems.
and you guys keep saying that you cleaned up your mess.
thats because you had two people with arms crossed demanding that it be done.....
im not helping the situation any by saying my piece right now.
but what was your explaination? "fuck you guys"?
we're not bitter. we just dont see why you keep fucking with people when it can all be dropped and left alone.
YOU are the instagator.
again, we arent bitter.
you moved out. paid through the month, helped find a replacement.
theres nothing more we could have asked.
someone else seems to be the bitter party.....
you create your fucking problems.
and you guys keep saying that you cleaned up your mess.
thats because you had two people with arms crossed demanding that it be done.....
im not helping the situation any by saying my piece right now.
but what was your explaination? "fuck you guys"?
we're not bitter. we just dont see why you keep fucking with people when it can all be dropped and left alone.
YOU are the instagator.
again, we arent bitter.
you moved out. paid through the month, helped find a replacement.
theres nothing more we could have asked.
someone else seems to be the bitter party.....
i cant say that i didnt see the events of tonight coming.
unfortunately i called it a while back.
i didnt want to see this shit happen.
but it was inevitable.
pushing from both sides. neither relenting....
im sure it can be resolved...or at least calmed.
with a little participation.
as for me.
i get tossed around when drunk, and tonight wasnt even that bad.
ok wait.
i take it back, it was.
what the fuck. joking is one thing.
physically de-clothing someone is a little outta hand.
dont think you can do whatever the fuck youd like to simply because you arent in your own home...
have some fucking respect.
come over here so you dont fuck up your own place?
nice.
dicks.
unfortunately i called it a while back.
i didnt want to see this shit happen.
but it was inevitable.
pushing from both sides. neither relenting....
im sure it can be resolved...or at least calmed.
with a little participation.
as for me.
i get tossed around when drunk, and tonight wasnt even that bad.
ok wait.
i take it back, it was.
what the fuck. joking is one thing.
physically de-clothing someone is a little outta hand.
dont think you can do whatever the fuck youd like to simply because you arent in your own home...
have some fucking respect.
come over here so you dont fuck up your own place?
nice.
dicks.
9.14.2001
uncle shinny aint comin. but hes got a year to make up for it...
my car will probably end up being totaled. biznitches. ive had that thing for nearly 5 yrs. lots o good memories.
little sleep the last couple of days.
buts its all good. im still happy.
just a little tired.
and ya know what?
those three fucks that i live with....
those are some pretty damn fine roomies.
just had to get that out there.....
my car will probably end up being totaled. biznitches. ive had that thing for nearly 5 yrs. lots o good memories.
little sleep the last couple of days.
buts its all good. im still happy.
just a little tired.
and ya know what?
those three fucks that i live with....
those are some pretty damn fine roomies.
just had to get that out there.....
dumb luck came about my way last night.
wo0t.
yet, sad news:
no uncle shinny.
but he'll make it up here sometime soon, i hope.
dammit.
i requested today off. i guess i should make something of it, eh?
sad to say, but shes a lot better to me.
it probably just has a lot to do with the whole "healthy" issue.
hmm. maybe, maybe not.
wo0t.
yet, sad news:
no uncle shinny.
but he'll make it up here sometime soon, i hope.
dammit.
i requested today off. i guess i should make something of it, eh?
sad to say, but shes a lot better to me.
it probably just has a lot to do with the whole "healthy" issue.
hmm. maybe, maybe not.
9.13.2001
people and their priorities.
theyre apparent.
people.
fuck.
they can say one thing and totallly act the other.
i guess it just depends on the situation and how they think people will react to their actions.
so they adjust accordingly.... as to fit in or whatever.
fuck that. wheres the truth?
so fake.
but now.
i feel misled. i feel guilty. but i feel somewhat satisfied.
i feel like i'll be let down again.
like people are only out for a short fix.
nothing long term, nothing to be held down or accountable to/for.
i guess im just not that lucky.
randomness rules:
poop!
theyre apparent.
people.
fuck.
they can say one thing and totallly act the other.
i guess it just depends on the situation and how they think people will react to their actions.
so they adjust accordingly.... as to fit in or whatever.
fuck that. wheres the truth?
so fake.
but now.
i feel misled. i feel guilty. but i feel somewhat satisfied.
i feel like i'll be let down again.
like people are only out for a short fix.
nothing long term, nothing to be held down or accountable to/for.
i guess im just not that lucky.
randomness rules:
poop!
lifes crazy how you have all these experiences.
you shouldnt ever regret any of them, cuz you learn something from all of them.
theres my cracked out philosophy for the night.
later yall.
you shouldnt ever regret any of them, cuz you learn something from all of them.
theres my cracked out philosophy for the night.
later yall.
9.12.2001
yay.
everyone posts on big news day!! =)
gots ta be herd.
oh. everyone that is sept air.
dats mah boy!
(check out our new pic)
everyone posts on big news day!! =)
gots ta be herd.
oh. everyone that is sept air.
dats mah boy!
(check out our new pic)
so i was just sketchin.
she wasnt avoiding me.
and i just got off from talking to her since around 11. me... talking....
shit.
her husbands in the persian gulf right now. sux to be him.
she wasnt avoiding me.
and i just got off from talking to her since around 11. me... talking....
shit.
her husbands in the persian gulf right now. sux to be him.
9.11.2001
people want to talk to me after this shit happened.
this didnt effect me in any way.
i have my one friend in NY, but i think shes hella far from it, so im all good.
yeah, sux about all the other deaths.
im sounding so inconsiderate and heartless........
my bad.
this didnt effect me in any way.
i have my one friend in NY, but i think shes hella far from it, so im all good.
yeah, sux about all the other deaths.
im sounding so inconsiderate and heartless........
my bad.
goddammit.
why am i bitter when shit like this happens?
its all people talk about.
i felt like i was supposed to go to work today all depressed, but i really wasnt.
i'd do my daily routine of asking customers how they are, and all sed "good" or "well".
luckily i only had like 2 or 3 people that wanted to talk about it.
i hate discussing it.
people trying to one up ("inform") everyone else on the most current news.
media goes crazy.
people become closer.
how fucking shallow?
"makes you realize all the things you take for granted"
"a reality check"
fuck you. i hate it.
maybe what really pisses me off is that people seem so concerned, but then in like a week to a month shits back to how it was.
(maybe exluding the target area.)
people will watch the news for hrs and hours...
how much can you learn after the fact?
you have to go through everyone giving their condolences, and all other BS.
fuck. im tired of bitching about all this.
....sinking to their level.
why am i bitter when shit like this happens?
its all people talk about.
i felt like i was supposed to go to work today all depressed, but i really wasnt.
i'd do my daily routine of asking customers how they are, and all sed "good" or "well".
luckily i only had like 2 or 3 people that wanted to talk about it.
i hate discussing it.
people trying to one up ("inform") everyone else on the most current news.
media goes crazy.
people become closer.
how fucking shallow?
"makes you realize all the things you take for granted"
"a reality check"
fuck you. i hate it.
maybe what really pisses me off is that people seem so concerned, but then in like a week to a month shits back to how it was.
(maybe exluding the target area.)
people will watch the news for hrs and hours...
how much can you learn after the fact?
you have to go through everyone giving their condolences, and all other BS.
fuck. im tired of bitching about all this.
....sinking to their level.
9.10.2001
sweet fucking buh-jesus.
this is the time when you really dont know whats going on and youre anticipating everything.
which leaves a not so good feeling in your stomach.
fuckin married.
this is the time when you really dont know whats going on and youre anticipating everything.
which leaves a not so good feeling in your stomach.
fuckin married.
ok. props to my homeboy at Taco Time.
i try to order all this shit, but then i realize i have no moneys.
so i take of the drink, and i take off the mexi-nuggets.
then hes like, "this ones on me", as hes giving me a coke.
im like ....sweet, you rule.
so air and i sit down, and he brings the dood brings us our food.
both air and i get mexi-nuggets.
the guy hooked me up with those too!!!
why the fuck didnt i do that at blimpies...
sure i'd hook up friends and aquaintances, but never random people.
that guys my hero.
why the fuck didnt i ever do that?
people helping people just for the fuck of it.
i try to order all this shit, but then i realize i have no moneys.
so i take of the drink, and i take off the mexi-nuggets.
then hes like, "this ones on me", as hes giving me a coke.
im like ....sweet, you rule.
so air and i sit down, and he brings the dood brings us our food.
both air and i get mexi-nuggets.
the guy hooked me up with those too!!!
why the fuck didnt i do that at blimpies...
sure i'd hook up friends and aquaintances, but never random people.
that guys my hero.
why the fuck didnt i ever do that?
people helping people just for the fuck of it.
you know what?
i think moving on can only mean that, moving on.
like to another person. you cant really move on until you find someone to replace all your efforts into making happy and spending time with.
too bad all the people i find have to have some quirk.
ashleigh: cant eat anything but fruit, emotionally and physically drained.
the old chic from work: 32, old. got kids. dont want nun of that anyway. but knows her shit about the music i listen to. shes a good mentor.
found out she gave puddle of mudd their first gig way back in july of 92, and knows the singer, wes. she talks your ear off, which i enjoy cuz you can learn a lot from that.
misty: fuckin married.
people like to talk. they like to point fingers.
fuck em.
im starting to learn to be more kicked back with people. let them learn more about me. dont be so cautious in what is sed.
cuz who the fuck cares? if they dont like it, why do you want to be around them anyway? this isnt to say that im talking more. but just being more open in the sense of being true, and saying how things are and how i feel.
not being so careful in worrying about what other people think.
i think moving on can only mean that, moving on.
like to another person. you cant really move on until you find someone to replace all your efforts into making happy and spending time with.
too bad all the people i find have to have some quirk.
ashleigh: cant eat anything but fruit, emotionally and physically drained.
the old chic from work: 32, old. got kids. dont want nun of that anyway. but knows her shit about the music i listen to. shes a good mentor.
found out she gave puddle of mudd their first gig way back in july of 92, and knows the singer, wes. she talks your ear off, which i enjoy cuz you can learn a lot from that.
misty: fuckin married.
people like to talk. they like to point fingers.
fuck em.
im starting to learn to be more kicked back with people. let them learn more about me. dont be so cautious in what is sed.
cuz who the fuck cares? if they dont like it, why do you want to be around them anyway? this isnt to say that im talking more. but just being more open in the sense of being true, and saying how things are and how i feel.
not being so careful in worrying about what other people think.
9.09.2001
i got a chic i hardly know to go out and do something with me?
and i did it all casual-like.
how the fuCK did i do that?
that must mean something...........
and i did it all casual-like.
how the fuCK did i do that?
that must mean something...........
i feel bad for taking her aroudn.
she seemed bored.
but i think all workde out well in the end.
good times.
she seemed bored.
but i think all workde out well in the end.
good times.
ya know what.
t hat chix cool.
wh;y the hel l was i drinking beer?
ballard is weird.
manuel. wheere do you leive?
why do aprons make uyou look a lot diffeerent than yo u actually look?
godamn.
people told me i looked bigger whne i cam ein without my apron?
damn. that was hottness.
hey. giess what i herd.
divorce.
isnt that fuckeD?
after a couple months.
did i know her before she was married?
ill think about it later.
damn the smoking.
fuck.
sleepy time.
work wil spank me tomorrow.
she got me drunk of fucking beer,.
whate\ have i become/\?
t hat chix cool.
wh;y the hel l was i drinking beer?
ballard is weird.
manuel. wheere do you leive?
why do aprons make uyou look a lot diffeerent than yo u actually look?
godamn.
people told me i looked bigger whne i cam ein without my apron?
damn. that was hottness.
hey. giess what i herd.
divorce.
isnt that fuckeD?
after a couple months.
did i know her before she was married?
ill think about it later.
damn the smoking.
fuck.
sleepy time.
work wil spank me tomorrow.
she got me drunk of fucking beer,.
whate\ have i become/\?
9.08.2001
9.07.2001
monitor en route.
today was a beautiful day to parcel.
my first time at ballard.
the second highest boss got pissed though.
"we take our fastest cashiers and put them outside?!"
but i got to do it.
it was a nice change of pace.
but you get ordered around like a bitch.
its all good.
i got to ride the smart karts around a lot.
im talking to that married chic more.
it makes work fun.
i stopped by my old fred meyer.
im trying to get another chic to move over to ballard.
they all live on the westside but work way the fuck over here?!
at work today i ran into a chic thats transferring over to ballard from kirkland.
she didnt know who the fuck i was. but shes kinda hot, so i knew who she was.
we talked a bit.... she bitched...
oh. a trip to freds = a trip to blimpies.
free food, like back in the day.
ah jeah.
today was a beautiful day to parcel.
my first time at ballard.
the second highest boss got pissed though.
"we take our fastest cashiers and put them outside?!"
but i got to do it.
it was a nice change of pace.
but you get ordered around like a bitch.
its all good.
i got to ride the smart karts around a lot.
im talking to that married chic more.
it makes work fun.
i stopped by my old fred meyer.
im trying to get another chic to move over to ballard.
they all live on the westside but work way the fuck over here?!
at work today i ran into a chic thats transferring over to ballard from kirkland.
she didnt know who the fuck i was. but shes kinda hot, so i knew who she was.
we talked a bit.... she bitched...
oh. a trip to freds = a trip to blimpies.
free food, like back in the day.
ah jeah.
9.06.2001
my sister decided to get up today to get my monitor from the UPS guy, after not getting up even after the guy knocked on her window.....
she sez i owe her... bleh.
this british bloke is coming to see the flat in a couple hrs.
i was just interrupted by air coming home.
he looks like darkie. heheh.
as for manuel:
dont obsess with a chic across the fucking country.
it does no good. nothing will come of it. ive tried.
and im out.
she sez i owe her... bleh.
this british bloke is coming to see the flat in a couple hrs.
i was just interrupted by air coming home.
he looks like darkie. heheh.
as for manuel:
dont obsess with a chic across the fucking country.
it does no good. nothing will come of it. ive tried.
and im out.
9.05.2001
we had a british guy, james, call for the room opening.
my votes for him.
ok, fine.
maybe we should meet him first.
but he sounds so cool already.
my votes for him.
ok, fine.
maybe we should meet him first.
but he sounds so cool already.
new quarter today: vermont.
maple syrup mutha fuckas.
how do you toss your salads.
i prefer syrup.
ok. people need to quit.
is it the hair?
4 times today:
shouldnt you be in school.
you look too young to be here.
are you playing hookey?
eat me.
i got off an hr early to meet this aurora chic, but alas, for some reason she came at 1:30.
its so impossible to get off work early... dah.
all for nothing.
maple syrup mutha fuckas.
how do you toss your salads.
i prefer syrup.
ok. people need to quit.
is it the hair?
4 times today:
shouldnt you be in school.
you look too young to be here.
are you playing hookey?
eat me.
i got off an hr early to meet this aurora chic, but alas, for some reason she came at 1:30.
its so impossible to get off work early... dah.
all for nothing.
9.04.2001
massive amounts of cleaning today....
shit got moved too.
i was cleaning my fishes, i put them in a bowl whilst i was washing out their little cube tank.
one of the little fuckers hopped outta the water and onto the kitchen floor.
the little bastard flopped around a bit before i could scoop him up and throw him back in.
that guy's durable.
that was like a 3 - 4 foot drop.
and hes the size of a mike n ike. or something.
still floatin around......
shits so clean....
shit got moved too.
i was cleaning my fishes, i put them in a bowl whilst i was washing out their little cube tank.
one of the little fuckers hopped outta the water and onto the kitchen floor.
the little bastard flopped around a bit before i could scoop him up and throw him back in.
that guy's durable.
that was like a 3 - 4 foot drop.
and hes the size of a mike n ike. or something.
still floatin around......
shits so clean....
dammit, wank.
youre fucking right.
who am i to hold people back for my selfishness.
last night was a great fucking night. one of the best.
why? there was fucking love.
that movie was great too. run lola run.
i have a list of a few of the best movies ive seen, and thats up there now.
i never knew the hype, but thats was crazy.
i saw your room.
your shit fits well. all looked good.
if everything works out... it will be a happy time.
its good living on the westdside.
youre fucking right.
who am i to hold people back for my selfishness.
last night was a great fucking night. one of the best.
why? there was fucking love.
that movie was great too. run lola run.
i have a list of a few of the best movies ive seen, and thats up there now.
i never knew the hype, but thats was crazy.
i saw your room.
your shit fits well. all looked good.
if everything works out... it will be a happy time.
its good living on the westdside.
after many an excuse, my monitor is finally on its way today.....
i need to go to shoreline today.
to make shit good.
i need to go to shoreline today.
to make shit good.
9.03.2001
i think even after what happened last night/this morning, things will be ok.
we both got to the end of our ropes, and we're parting ways.
we dont hate each other, we just need a lot of time to let things sort out.
this all sounds so generic, but fUCk, it means something and makes sense to you when you say it.
like you dont actually know what it means until youve experienced it....
anyways. we'll just fade away.
maybe our paths will cross far down the line..
maybe not.
whatever happens, happens.
we both got to the end of our ropes, and we're parting ways.
we dont hate each other, we just need a lot of time to let things sort out.
this all sounds so generic, but fUCk, it means something and makes sense to you when you say it.
like you dont actually know what it means until youve experienced it....
anyways. we'll just fade away.
maybe our paths will cross far down the line..
maybe not.
whatever happens, happens.
i am i dick.
i feel bad for what i did.
but i was pressured.
its my only way to regain sanity and to feel relieved.
it was a selfish way to end things.
i feel bad.
i hurt her.
i feel bad.
but i couldnt allow myself to be drug down anymore.
she put all the pressure on me.
she kept waiting for me to do something last night, but i wouldnt.
so she just decided to fall asleep in my bed..... seriously... wtf?
first of all she just shows up at my door uninvited.
i didnt want to deal with it.
i went with the selfish way out.
and hurt her the way she hurt me back when.
she tried to pull the guilt trip.
did i do that when i was that hurt.
she was really immature about it.
but rightly so. she was deeply hurt.
i just wanted it to end.
my bad.
i feel bad for what i did.
but i was pressured.
its my only way to regain sanity and to feel relieved.
it was a selfish way to end things.
i feel bad.
i hurt her.
i feel bad.
but i couldnt allow myself to be drug down anymore.
she put all the pressure on me.
she kept waiting for me to do something last night, but i wouldnt.
so she just decided to fall asleep in my bed..... seriously... wtf?
first of all she just shows up at my door uninvited.
i didnt want to deal with it.
i went with the selfish way out.
and hurt her the way she hurt me back when.
she tried to pull the guilt trip.
did i do that when i was that hurt.
she was really immature about it.
but rightly so. she was deeply hurt.
i just wanted it to end.
my bad.
im the guy in the movies that everyone despises.
the one the chic starts with, but finds someone better.
i was faced with a tough situation, and thinking about it now i handled it wrong.
i was emotional from her and other things.
wasnt in the right mind do sleep in my own room.
now she'll hate me.
roles were fucking reversed.
becoming someone you hate.
forced to because of the ineptitude to know how to deal.....
the one the chic starts with, but finds someone better.
i was faced with a tough situation, and thinking about it now i handled it wrong.
i was emotional from her and other things.
wasnt in the right mind do sleep in my own room.
now she'll hate me.
roles were fucking reversed.
becoming someone you hate.
forced to because of the ineptitude to know how to deal.....
tonight i am a convert.
turned asshole.
i was forced, but i guess its my place.
i am only male.
i am a dick.
dont say otherwise
turned asshole.
i was forced, but i guess its my place.
i am only male.
i am a dick.
dont say otherwise
9.02.2001
i called ashleigh out on a lie she told me back when shit blew up at pimps and hos.
yeah. its been a while, but shit was that a pivotal point in our relationship.. at least to me..
so i saw maegan online today and she was trying to bitch me the fuck out....
why do i even bother again?
im tired of it.
po lea and i got that fatty chest outta ryans old room. that bitch didnt wanna go.
we had to take so much shit apart.
it wouldnt go everytime we thought we'd found the last hold up...
but its out.
ashley called while they po and lea were stuck in there with the chest in the doorway.
seemed kinda funny that i couldnt get leas phone in there so she could talk to her....
saw ashley and leas place.
oh MY GoD. words do not describe (they tried), but you have to see this shit for yourself.
thanks guys for letting me run around exploring with you.
thats some crazy shit.
sound travels really well when theres no walls to inhibit it ;)
im just waiting to see how theyre going to turn that place around.
they seem motivated enough.
shit. i wish i didnt have to work so late.
i have a feeling i'll miss a lot tonight.
oh well.
just remember the time and a half.
working monday too. but also holiday pay.
bah... is it worth it?
dunno.
im fearing maegans wrath.
shes pissed at me for what i did to ashleigh (?)
yet shes nice and happy and invitive when it comes to her having a soccer game over at UW next week.
wtf?
yeah. its been a while, but shit was that a pivotal point in our relationship.. at least to me..
so i saw maegan online today and she was trying to bitch me the fuck out....
why do i even bother again?
im tired of it.
po lea and i got that fatty chest outta ryans old room. that bitch didnt wanna go.
we had to take so much shit apart.
it wouldnt go everytime we thought we'd found the last hold up...
but its out.
ashley called while they po and lea were stuck in there with the chest in the doorway.
seemed kinda funny that i couldnt get leas phone in there so she could talk to her....
saw ashley and leas place.
oh MY GoD. words do not describe (they tried), but you have to see this shit for yourself.
thanks guys for letting me run around exploring with you.
thats some crazy shit.
sound travels really well when theres no walls to inhibit it ;)
im just waiting to see how theyre going to turn that place around.
they seem motivated enough.
shit. i wish i didnt have to work so late.
i have a feeling i'll miss a lot tonight.
oh well.
just remember the time and a half.
working monday too. but also holiday pay.
bah... is it worth it?
dunno.
im fearing maegans wrath.
shes pissed at me for what i did to ashleigh (?)
yet shes nice and happy and invitive when it comes to her having a soccer game over at UW next week.
wtf?
theres no fucking way you can get over someone if you keep up the near day to day, or even once a week contact.
to much shit resurfaces from when and why you broke up.
someone doesnt truely forgive the other... and the one who was actually the dumper doesnt really have any good explanation that you want to hear....
it just keeps repeating as a dumb cycle, it wears at you.
isolation from the problem is the only means to an end.
although sad, its the only plausible way.
no one ever likes the idea of that.. thats why its so fucking hard, and all these dumbshits get back together, only to end in another heart-torn tragedy.
possibly worse than the first time around.
people not being truthful is one of the things that really really pisses me off.
thats a hard thing to forgive.
ryans moving out... sad.
wanks moving out.... wtf?
think about it (wank). live it in your head.
is it worth it?
alls i gots ta say is with his absence that means no blake.
sure i hardly know the guy, but thats exactly why its hard to be tolerable of a drunken ass.
i was drunk last night. i was an ass. but the company of good friends is what makes a drunken ass tolerable.
example: sleepy, tired (passed the FUCK OUT) air was ready to beat some blake ass for the mere removal of his shoe.
i was getting pissed at his volume and flinging of macaroni aboot the room.
today this pissocity grew as i went to take a shower.
dan sed it smelled like puke in there, but he didnt mention that there were still small chunks in the shower, and that my wash cloth, along with my towel were used as vomit-cleaning tools... along with the spatula-eth (i admit that shit was funny).
but shit. why you gotta be like that? cuz i took your room?
i felt fucking bad when he mentioned that. i had almost repressed it.
i didnt have to deal with him, but telling it how it was to unreasonable jay was hard shit.
fuck me.
i want a monitor.
i keep telling dan this computer is too good for me.
truely it is.
i havent completely thought out the "whys", but it just is.
i dont know how any of this shit works.
thanx to him for putting it all together though.
to much shit resurfaces from when and why you broke up.
someone doesnt truely forgive the other... and the one who was actually the dumper doesnt really have any good explanation that you want to hear....
it just keeps repeating as a dumb cycle, it wears at you.
isolation from the problem is the only means to an end.
although sad, its the only plausible way.
no one ever likes the idea of that.. thats why its so fucking hard, and all these dumbshits get back together, only to end in another heart-torn tragedy.
possibly worse than the first time around.
people not being truthful is one of the things that really really pisses me off.
thats a hard thing to forgive.
ryans moving out... sad.
wanks moving out.... wtf?
think about it (wank). live it in your head.
is it worth it?
alls i gots ta say is with his absence that means no blake.
sure i hardly know the guy, but thats exactly why its hard to be tolerable of a drunken ass.
i was drunk last night. i was an ass. but the company of good friends is what makes a drunken ass tolerable.
example: sleepy, tired (passed the FUCK OUT) air was ready to beat some blake ass for the mere removal of his shoe.
i was getting pissed at his volume and flinging of macaroni aboot the room.
today this pissocity grew as i went to take a shower.
dan sed it smelled like puke in there, but he didnt mention that there were still small chunks in the shower, and that my wash cloth, along with my towel were used as vomit-cleaning tools... along with the spatula-eth (i admit that shit was funny).
but shit. why you gotta be like that? cuz i took your room?
i felt fucking bad when he mentioned that. i had almost repressed it.
i didnt have to deal with him, but telling it how it was to unreasonable jay was hard shit.
fuck me.
i want a monitor.
i keep telling dan this computer is too good for me.
truely it is.
i havent completely thought out the "whys", but it just is.
i dont know how any of this shit works.
thanx to him for putting it all together though.
9.01.2001
i know its old news, but i just talked to josh about it....
nekkiddood (8:14:42 PM): so your sis is boinkin jeeter?
ForceFedTT (8:15:00 PM): ummm... i cant disclose that kind of info
nekkiddood (8:15:12 PM): homo
ForceFedTT (8:15:12 PM): it's libel
nekkiddood (8:15:20 PM): ha
ForceFedTT (8:15:22 PM): and is grounds for a suit
ForceFedTT (8:15:33 PM): by my sister and/or jeeter
ForceFedTT (8:15:44 PM): i plead the fifth
ForceFedTT (8:15:53 PM): sorry
nekkiddood (8:15:57 PM): sall good
ForceFedTT (8:16:02 PM): just let your imagination answer that question
whud yours tell you?
nekkiddood (8:14:42 PM): so your sis is boinkin jeeter?
ForceFedTT (8:15:00 PM): ummm... i cant disclose that kind of info
nekkiddood (8:15:12 PM): homo
ForceFedTT (8:15:12 PM): it's libel
nekkiddood (8:15:20 PM): ha
ForceFedTT (8:15:22 PM): and is grounds for a suit
ForceFedTT (8:15:33 PM): by my sister and/or jeeter
ForceFedTT (8:15:44 PM): i plead the fifth
ForceFedTT (8:15:53 PM): sorry
nekkiddood (8:15:57 PM): sall good
ForceFedTT (8:16:02 PM): just let your imagination answer that question
whud yours tell you?
im tired of it all.
people are dumb.
im included
drunk people suck.
especially when they got shit on you.
opposite sex is on my nerves too...
so shallow.
so only doing whats pleasing to them.
theyre out.
which unfortunately means im out. fuck.
what gay drama.
ive always wondered how its possible for people to be so dumb as to get kicked outta their house.
um. its cuz they arent the ones making all the noise. its their buffooned friends.
drunken ones are the worst. deezus christ.
wanks h.s. bunch all left this house.
at least theyre nice enough to not leave us high and dry....to a point.
fuck nice.
thats ghetto.
(lucky enough to have not had signed the contract.)
people are dumb.
im included
drunk people suck.
especially when they got shit on you.
opposite sex is on my nerves too...
so shallow.
so only doing whats pleasing to them.
theyre out.
which unfortunately means im out. fuck.
what gay drama.
ive always wondered how its possible for people to be so dumb as to get kicked outta their house.
um. its cuz they arent the ones making all the noise. its their buffooned friends.
drunken ones are the worst. deezus christ.
wanks h.s. bunch all left this house.
at least theyre nice enough to not leave us high and dry....to a point.
fuck nice.
thats ghetto.
(lucky enough to have not had signed the contract.)
Links
- Here and There
- Kim
- Man
- News From the Top
- Not Borat
- Tasha
- Wank
- Free Beer
- Puget Sound Divers
- SCRU
- SCRET
- Fifth D
- GUE Anchorage Weather
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Previous Posts
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