im always so complacent.
its true.

as for secret crushes.
if they are revealed, or there is speculation, that really fucks shit up.
akwardness and a want for distancing becomes the main view in the relationship.
(for the one with the differing feelings).
is this making sense?
i had a friend at westmont that wanted my sack. (blunt?)
i couldnt handle it and would hide in my room (wasnt so hard, cuz shed get in trouble if she came in after hrs.)
she got whiny and confused and hurt, and i didnt know what to do about it other than to ignore it.
not the best way. but it works.
i think eventually there was a third party (lindsay-who is actually one of my best peeps that i talk to about all my emotional shits and trials with da wemenz, and there may have at a time been sexual tension, but has gone way past that now.) that stepped in and smoothed things out.
i feel there are a lot of secret crushes out there.
when are they ever going to be mutual? i hate it.
well. ok. mutual and also plausible.

i always feel like im playing by someone else's rules.