hum de dum dumb.
so all this frustration is turned to sadness with one visit from her whilst working.
she approached me.
i asked her what was the matter..
im moving.
to where!? what?? why!?!?
spokane to live with her husband's sister.
she doesnt want to. all her family's over here.

ya know.
what is that?
this boy must have deep trust issues. to where he wants a big sister to look over her.
granted im in the fucking equation somehow, but not really to justify it, but she didnt start hanging out with me til after he told her he wanted a divorce.
she told me shes always loyal, may not stick around long, but loyal.
i couldnt see it then, cuz there i was. but i think i see it now.
this guy had better be a great guy for her to give up her happiness, and for him to think that its the right thing to do.

she was so bummed.
she cant even get up the nerve to tell her sister.
she came in today and got some for sale signs for her car, seeing as how it probably wont make it up the pass.
this guy.
whats this guy doing?
i cant totally say that im not going to be selfish about the situation, but he should see her....
hmph.

we got pretty close in a short amount of time.
she was/is a lot like me.
i dont think it was both of us just looking for someone in our lonely times...
fuck me.
i'll miss her.
she was becoming a good friend.
goddammit.
godfuckingdammit.
she wants to make it work.
shes the better of the two.
what a genuinely nice, humble, selfless, caring person.
goddammit.

she approached me near the beggining of my shift to tell me this.
... the whole time i think i was actually more assertive, talkative, and outgoing, just to hide my real emotions.
she came up a second time to buy that shit.
saw my face and had to fight back the tears.
jesus.
i wasnt doing so well myself.

this is assed.