theres no fucking way you can get over someone if you keep up the near day to day, or even once a week contact.
to much shit resurfaces from when and why you broke up.
someone doesnt truely forgive the other... and the one who was actually the dumper doesnt really have any good explanation that you want to hear....
it just keeps repeating as a dumb cycle, it wears at you.
isolation from the problem is the only means to an end.
although sad, its the only plausible way.
no one ever likes the idea of that.. thats why its so fucking hard, and all these dumbshits get back together, only to end in another heart-torn tragedy.
possibly worse than the first time around.

people not being truthful is one of the things that really really pisses me off.
thats a hard thing to forgive.


ryans moving out... sad.
wanks moving out.... wtf?
think about it (wank). live it in your head.
is it worth it?

alls i gots ta say is with his absence that means no blake.
sure i hardly know the guy, but thats exactly why its hard to be tolerable of a drunken ass.
i was drunk last night. i was an ass. but the company of good friends is what makes a drunken ass tolerable.
example: sleepy, tired (passed the FUCK OUT) air was ready to beat some blake ass for the mere removal of his shoe.
i was getting pissed at his volume and flinging of macaroni aboot the room.
today this pissocity grew as i went to take a shower.
dan sed it smelled like puke in there, but he didnt mention that there were still small chunks in the shower, and that my wash cloth, along with my towel were used as vomit-cleaning tools... along with the spatula-eth (i admit that shit was funny).
but shit. why you gotta be like that? cuz i took your room?
i felt fucking bad when he mentioned that. i had almost repressed it.
i didnt have to deal with him, but telling it how it was to unreasonable jay was hard shit.

fuck me.
i want a monitor.
i keep telling dan this computer is too good for me.
truely it is.
i havent completely thought out the "whys", but it just is.
i dont know how any of this shit works.
thanx to him for putting it all together though.