yo yo.
i have a fatty headache... i think its from both the heat and not eating til about 7 pm today... mmmmmm. triple ultimate cheeseburger

neways. chatted with the stevens court chix... at least the ones who were there. i guess they only read air and dans blogs, cuz ashley was saying how everyone hated her dog. i kinda liked her, but whatever... i know my blogs are long and boring. but theyre for me. =) at least i have wank to which we kinda indirectly have convos on blogger.

thanx to manuel for making my archives, and thanx to d-man for touching them up.

so.. the only way my sister found out that our great uncle died was through my blog. heh. kinda weird.
she called me today when i was at our new house to ask me about it.

and yeah. whoopty woop, the hizouse is ourses. =) we handed over a grip load uh cashiers checks to the lady today.
she seems nice, and helpful... but also strict... one visit from the cops = eviction. so i guess we best be getting to know our neighbors here shortly. the room assignments are still cloudy. all i know is i gotsta be downstairs on behalf of my pimpin waterbed.

i kinda want the L-room, but people might get pissed if i dont fill it up with shit... hmm... the way i see it is that we wouldnt have the house if it weren't for me. so putting my foot down doesnt make me an asshole. but if air wants it, then i'll step aside, but if he wants bombshelter room, then have at it. =)

as for school. i had two tests today. calc raped me. in the ass. and i think there were barbs. it hurt on the way out.
o chem wasnt bad at all. i was done in like 20 mins. the first one. usually a good sign for me. i looked over the key, and only found one thing i slightly missed. i like that class. thats probably why i studied for it.

ive been thinking. i kinda dont like grades.. cuz when i get bad ones, they kinda bring me down. they make me try less. cuz how can i do better? ya know? it theoretically should make me try harder, but i think it has the reverse effect on me.. i kinda give up.

so. the topic i wanted to talk about yesterday was purity, but i dont think i'll go over it today. nothing interesting anyway.
well. i work this weekend, so you guys get to move in w/o me. blah.
i'll be there soon enough. i mean i am paid in full! =)
alright. im looking forward to being a westsyiiiider!
i gotta figure out if i want to work in lake city or ballard though.
balls.

scratch great uncle roy of the to die list.
i told yall they come in threes =P

im in a bitter mood.
i had a topic to expound on today,
but i'm not sharing.
all i get to do is study.
school needs to be over soon.

dah.
as i find out my finals schedule:

Wed., June 13, 11:30 - 1:20 pm
Fri., June 15, 9:30 - 11:20 am
Fri., June 15, 11:30 - 1:20 pm

yup, i have to wait til the last day to take two of them, and theyre right after the other..
thats calculus followed by organic chemistry.... good shit.. or something.

as for today....

i had a calc quiz..
i thought i did so damn well on it!!! then, as i was flipping it to the front page to turn it in, i noticed the back... that had a fatty word problem question on it..... fuck. i did so well too, but its only a couple questions, so missing that one will probably bring me down a lot. fuh...
so i get to my second class, and the teachers feeling lazy, and didnt want to lecture today cuz what he was going to talk about was important, and a lot of the people werent there, so we took a field trip to... the coffee stand! i hate coffee, but field trips = boss.. so i didnt complain.. then we went out to the quad/square (the pussy equivalent at BCC) and sat down at a picnic table. this was quite simple, since there were only 6 of us, including the teacher. so we chatted about philosophy and just BSed and whatnot.. nothing about what we were supposed to be learning =) it was so nice outside. and the chic i sat across from and next to are hot ;)

then i had o chem. and we talked about proteins. and how my hair is full of disulfide bridges, which makes it all curly.
then he goes on to say how mercury affects those bonds by changing its shape, and therefore its function, and how it gets into your hemoglobin, so you get no oxygen, and fucks up alcohol hydrogenase, so drinking any alcohol basically kills you.
so for any of you who might happen to drink the mercury from and old-school thermometer or barometer, he sed the best thing to do, is of course to throw up, but to eat a raw egg before hand cuz the protein will soak up a lot of the mercury. and the egg will probably help you throw up anyway =)

more random shit that i've wasted your precious time with... specially with finals coming up. blah.
oh, i found out i dont have a test tomorrow.. theyre both on thursday... whoopie =P
so i can work tonight and not worry as much.

manuel, welcome to the fucking club...
to put everything on the line.. put it all out there, exposed... only to be shat upon.
then to pick yourself up... shake off a little dust, and toss yourself right back into where youre the most vulnerable, and to where she can easily access your heart.. grab it, squeeze it, twist it, yank it out. stomp on it. maybe spit on it... all while not even realizing the extent of what theyve done. we gave our heart to them to do with as they please.... and how could they be so horrible as to do what they did? whats their justification? were we not gentlemen? were we not putting them on a pedestal? were we not supportive and loyal?... but it all comes down to its not what they wanted.... but did they have to go to the means that they did to get their point across? who knows?
its a fucked up situation in a fucked up life..... if i'm quoting limp bizkit correctly.
i know about hope, manuel... i still do hope. maybe not for love... but that she'll realize how good i was to her, and that i cared, and that i didnt need to do all that, but that i did out of love. and that she threw that whole-hearted love away... and for what? why?
i just want to get over needing her. am i there? can i ever say that i am? especially when i dont have another girlfriend... and when this wrongly-named drought will end (as i think you need a starting point for a drought).... it will be way down the road from here... and i'll have nothing to put my emotions on other than this failed relationship... how do you get over it then?

i talked to maegan yesterday on AIM. i had to make the effort =P. i told her how i was moving, etc. and i told her how i ran into ashleighs sister and mom... how it was akward... she asked if there were any girls in my life.. of course it was a no... hopefully ashleighs not waiting to talk to me again til after i have a girlfriend, cuz she might be waiting a while.
but i told her to come by our new place sometime.. she sed she would... but doesnt know when she'll be coming home from idaho..
and she sed to tell air "hi"... so shout out to him.

but seriously? how fucked up is this? ok... so my ex-girlfriend is on the fringe of hating me, if it is not actual hate, and yet her best friend still talks to me, and is ... for the sake of having no other name... a friend... what?! what the fuck?! if i was a dick, an asshole, an undeserved bastard, wouldnt she dump me just as fast (ok, it wasnt fast, but as brutally) as she did? why is there still communication here? sure she didnt start the convo, but she wasnt trying to get away from it. she was interested in my life, etc.

i guess all i can conclude is that ashleigh is a very stubborn woman.
she wont have things any other way than how her thoughts originally entered her head.
thats it. im done. shes maxed me out too.

i feel like wank a lot of the time too... a pushover.
but then when i act on contradicting that... i feel like a dick.
but i guess its better than feeling sorry for yourself for not doing anything.
.... as for your conflict. i guess i'd have to hear abronis side, but it doesnt seem too strong.
we'll figure it out.

so i worked today. time and a half. wo0t!
anyway. my boss talked to me and sed that the ballard guy called.. wants me over there =))))
but then he sed that he cant let me go til they find a replacement.. sed it would probably take only a couple weeks... which is fine with me, cuz thats when school will be over... i'll probably move most of my stuff over in that two week period, and i might be hanging out there, but i'll probably be sleeping over here... on the eastside...

so... my flagrantly gay boss tells me that the ballard store is twice as busy as the one over where im at... dah. ah well.
then he goes to say how he'll tell the ballard guy that he shouldnt hire me... that he'll say that he'll tell him that im always late, if i even show up. that im slow, undependable, etc.... course its all false, and hes kidding.. i guess thats his way of telling me that he appreciates my contributions... cuz hes always giving me shit... i always thought of him as an ass, but hes not that bad of a guy...
and is actually pretty funny.. c'mon! hes flagrantly homo! tee hee.

shit. what a busy week.... tomorrow: calc quiz, wed: o chem test, thurs: calc test. bah! and to go along with all that, i have to take my car in on wed, and go to the dentist on thurs.
but.. i get to find out what the rooms downstairs look like, and which i get... sweeetness.
im fucking ready for summer, as im sure everyone else is... =)

wank, man. i got your back.
why cant some people just learn to play fair?
i mean shit. i was going to get the monkey room!

so after that, why not just tell you about my day =P

i went and saw pearl harbor. all the critics out there say its shit. but i thought it was pretty good. the plot was somewhat from other movies ive seen... but still damn good. i didnt really realize that it was 3 hrs and 18 mins til i walked out of the theatre.

it seems that wank has joined the ol' high school posse... almost replacing keith, since we probably wont see him around much after our move to the westside!.... hes got his own thing goin on... which i can respect.

little nicky was a pretty funny movie. its cool to see that adam sandler sticks with all the guys that he had in most of his other movies... even down to rob schnider. ;-) thanx, ashley, for letting us come over and putting up with us =)

ok... so im a nerd. im watching this thing on petra... its this place in jordan thats like .... shit i dont know how old.. probably a couple thousand BC.... but its that temple thing carved out of rock... it was in indiana jones, the last crusade.... oddly, i think the fat guy with the beard from that movie is narrarating. archaeology is cool >=P

bah. its over now... and now its abe lincoln...
did you say abe lincoln!?!... NO! i sed 'hey, blinkin'!!

back to pearl harbor.... the previews, with all the people being fat/stretched... reminded me of the last weekend i spent with ashleigh, when we saw bridget jones' diary... all the previews looked like that... i tell ya.. ashley judd didnt look that good for that one movie she was in with hugh jackman.. i forget the name.... anyway... that was a damn fun night.. ashleigh had a camera with film to use on it, so we took it along with us... i dont remember how many shots there were on it, but we had fun with it... but unfortunately, following that weekend was when she got hell-bent on not seeing me again... i wish i coulda seen (or had) those pix.... i wonder what she did with them... seeing as how she felt about the belated bday present i gave her, im pretty sure she probably did anything short of burning them.
maegan sed shed email me, but she never did.
fuck my dwelling.
i know its over. i accept that.
i just wish i could know we were on good terms...
that i wouldnt have to have her in my life, but that she doesnt despise or loathe me or get annoyed if anything might remind her of me.... but... i'll never now.

so whats so bad about small ass dogs? ok, so i get the chiuahua (sp?) that air and i saw at abercrombie, where the dood was kinda cradling it in one arm.... thats kinda queer, but whats wrong with other small dogs? sure they might not fare well in a fight, but isnt kinda just like a cat? but only loyal? i dunno... set backs might be that you step on them cuz they want to be continually around you, but is that so bad? im not saying i want one, but are they that evil? i like my aunt and uncles skipperkees, i like jack russell terriers, although most are renound assholes, but ive met some good ones.
kevins one-eyed chewie is a nice guy... although now that he only has one eye, and cataracts in the other, you have to watch to not put your hand infront of his face cuz he'll think that you have food.
i guess maybe i'd draw the line when theyre under cat size... and drawing closer to rat size. especially when they look like one.
chihuauas were bred to be eaten though, werent they? or am i thinking of the hairless rex cat? same difference =P

ok.... long at pointless... my bad... but ... true to form...
this is what happens when im not talking to anyone and this is all i have to focus on.
im still waiting.
adios.

i write about my day... who wants to hear it?
minutes of entertainment, if even that.
i blog because it helps me open up. helps sort out problems/feelings.
even matt was saying "i dont know why im telling you all this."
you pour out ideas to give content. you want it to be something worth while to read.
but my explanation isnt going anywhere.

its been a month to the day since i last talked to ashleigh.
what am i to do? nothing? wait?
waiting isnt nothing, because its hoping...
should i have hope?
probably not.

i suck at caps. =P
but blue margarita mix is good =)

ive been in weird moods lately. i kinda feel outta place.
like i should be off on my own.. whatever.. i dunno.

i think work wore me out a lot more than i thought.
is wore a derivative of work?....nah, cuz it comes from wear... my bad.

B... i appreciate your hospitality... thanx man.
manswell.. you cocksucker. when are you gunna hang out?
once again, im out.

an uneventful day at work, but i went to blimpies and i had to PAY even though blimpie jim wasnt there.. bah! the chic almost didnt even give me my real fred meyer discount.. =P
neways. a pretty unproductive day.. the items of the day were: ice and beer. good combo.
other than all the guys coming to steal my keys and making me think that they forgot to give them back,
although it was busy, nothing much happened..
nice day out though.. = hot chix.
i even got a surprise visit from ashley, who was just as surprised to see me.
....let me clarify though.. thats ashley, not ashleigh.
so i guess thangs are goin on at matts tonight.
i'll be there.
audi.

i come home after a night of good old fashion video games to the news that my dads old running buddy from california passed away tonight. its too early to be losing such relatively young people.. LOSS.. bah!...

i come home to that, and manuels blog... his writing of christine always make me think of why couldnt i have that kinda relationship? where we can still be friends?... but i guess the best way to get over someone is to eventually not plan on ever seeing them...
ya know? too bad it was in such a shitty fashion for me...

wank. i wont have to kill you. i want to live downstairs. i didnt get a good look at all the rooms, just a peek-in in two of them, so when we do the walk-through i'll stake my claim... too bad i may have to kill air though =/

dan. we be good. i just hate confrontation.

blake. where the hell did you dissappear to? same with jay, but at least i talked to him today....

this house will be the true test of independence. before was knowingly temporary. but this is finally the big move. its far enough away that its no longer a convenience to just drop by mom and dads... but i think i only did that on mondays for labs anyway.. mostly.... hehe. mostly they come out at night.. mostly. ;)

well. i give my thanx to my dollar twin.
maybe i'll have a look at lake city fred meyers too.. i need to learn fucking seattles lay out.
i get so lost.
well. screw all you hippies who dont have a damn thing to do for 3 days. i work on two of them.
later people.

swEet! after the desk person handed me off to someone, and they handed me off to someone, and they handed me off to the guy i was looking for... after giving the last three my speil...
so... it looks like all thats in the air is how much of bitches my current bosses are to let me go over there...
im fine with staying through the end of june or whatever...
excitedness!!!

as for my problems...
i talked to my flagrantly fagulent boss at work.
he told me that everyone is going to be on vacation and they wont be able to find a replacement for me so soon.
meaning that i wont be able to transfer until the end of summer...
these bastards... theyve never been willing to accomadate my needs... maybe its time to give up the fairly cushy, well -paying job.
im sure theres bunches of other companies out there that'll require what i can do.
which aint much, but hey =P i can learn.
im about to call the ballard store, he/she'll probably be more likely to want me over there... i dont really know whos choice it is, probably the boss that im currently employed under... dammit.
so here goes... if not, i can go a month.. hopefully, w/o work. =)
off to call ballard.

avoiding you!?
hmm.. dan.. maybe its cuz youre quick to give the guilt trip.
i.e. your blog....
you dont think i feel bad that you cant get in the house?
theres not much i could do about it....

dont blog shit if you dont want to hear shit back.

still worried about work.. i'll take care of that tomorrow... hopefully.

ya know... i dont think ive ever just hung out with the stevens court chix and friends just to bs... w/o alcohol, that is....
it was a good time. =)

i know i had more to say. but nothings coming to mind.
yay for you.

air summed it all up in one word: giddy.
we got the house. i paid the lady. which means i get first or second pick on the bedroom! sweet!
i just want downstairs. i dont really care which room.. all yall have gotta come see it... we'll have a house-warming party or something....

ok. so weak. there was a strike at school today... all the maintenance and security and cafeteria people... i expected it to be hard to get to class or whatnot... but all the people were out picketting by the texaco... oh yeah, and at 10:30, when i got there, there were like 5 people with signs, and when i left two hrs later there were 2 people out there, one being my geology teacher from fall quarter...

neways. shit. now i have to go and transfer to ballard or something.. and i just got a raise this week. mboss.
i paid off my blimpies tab too... so no ties there either.

im so fucking excited about this house... its so better than what i was expecting. and although our landlord's strict or at least, to the tee, but shes a good one, she sed if ever theres a problem that her hubby would take care of it... shit... ted or hal or val or al or whatever our old landlord wanted to be called, he wanted us to cut back trees, fix the tub, do our own disposal... what a lazy beeotch. yeah, so the lady warned us about the old lady next door, but im sure we wont have that many problems...

god. hmm. i dont know if i want to move in right on the first or wait til schools over on the 15th...
bleh. it'll work out.

maegan actually IMed me, but i wasnt there....
weird.. so she doesnt hate me.
and she actually initiated contact!!
crazy.. she sed she'd email me...
we'll see....

so.. we get the house.
i hope its good. i get to see it tomorrow.
this is going to throw me through a loop.
im sure after i settle in, it'll be all good,
but i have to get through school before i move. then i have to possibly transfer to a different fred meyer,
then i'll have to start buying food cuz blimpies wont be next door,
then i'll have to go to bcc for another quarter and deal with that commute...
but... i think its for the best, and im excited...
i'll just have to make a new groove.

dammit. so last night i couldnt sleep cuz i was dwelling over that ashleigh shit again.. fuck me.
cuz of what manuel was talking about.. but its not his fault. it was kinda due to the fact that i ran into her mom and sis a couple days ago... im still fighting with why was she so brash? why so mean? why so blunt? why so willing to disavow any knowledge of my exsistence? i dont get her. i really dont deserve that. im more saddened than anything. bAH.

random shit:

why is it the phrase "know it by heart"? has it just held from back in the day when people, like the egyptians held the idea that the vital force or soul or sorce of knowledge all came from the heart? or is it rather just that its so personal that you keep it in your heart?
whatever......

ok, so i was driving home and i saw this van... ok.. get this... it was a work van... it had its name on the back.. guess what it was....
ok.. ok.. ehehe.. ok.. it was "crapo appliance services" HA HA!
ok. who the fuck would think of this as a business name?!? hopefully its not the person's last name.
and whats their motto? "our name implies our quality" heheeh.
stupid people.

so i think its time for a first name basis. that 30 yr old chic i work with is named michelle.
today she gets off work and comes through my line with a friend and some groceries....
so im ringing up her hamburger meat, and shes like, "careful with the meat!!!" joking of course...
"youre a 20 year old boy, i know how you treat your own meat, and i dont want my meat treated like that!"
"i'll get it all beat up, mangled and whatnot."

so she sticks it to me, but shes funny, and thats all that matters =)
that and you can be loose around her. almost like one of the guys.

3 things:

1) it took me an hour to get from dans dorm to the 520 on ramp.
i was an hour and a half late to work and they made me make it up..
they probably thought i was out enjoying the sun, when in actuality i was choking on car exhaust fumes...
they always take me to be this "kid".. when i called in sick, they accused me of doing it to watch the mariner game, ok, so i wasnt sick, but im not that petty, i did it because i had two midterms to study for.

2) we looked at that eyesore of a house... was about the same on the inside as the outside... but i guess whilst i was en route to fucking hell, the guys found a better place.. I WANNA SEE!! it sounds like a pretty good deal and is closer to UW than matt and Bs place... im easy, i'll do whatever, i'll move in whenever, i'll pay whatever... oh wait, no ...well reasonably.

3) manuel, buddy, shit. i know your pain.
what you say is almost to the tee of how i felt...
she was happier leaving me.
she wouldnt give me a chance.
situations were shit, and just as they were starting to get better, she gave up.
i dont get it either.. and it is cold shit.
i got to the point of questioning myself.. but it wasnt my fault.. the continual not giving her space, maybe was... but she just couldnt deal... then when space was given, she still saw it as the old ways...
not to get you down, but in the begginning, it was her idea to just be friends... maybe thats just the cheap way out because the other person is supposed to get pissed at that or whatever... but i was all for it, and she still couldnt see it... bah!
i dont really know what i can tell you.. just... get ouT! do shit. hang out with people you havent seen in a while... take your mind off it.
sure you might feel down when yer out, and might not even want to be there... but there will be times when you are out that it will slip your mind... and thats what you need...
after almost a month of not talking to her, i dont get those deep painful feelings, but i do have times when im just like, what the hell?
why the hell couldnt it work? why the hell wouldnt she let it work? we were happy... but she needed to discover herself, so she sed..
she has to figure out who SHE is.. shes been in a relationship pretty much since age 16, shes tired of being known as so-and-so's boyfriend. i always wondered why she wouldnt go hang out with my friends.. i guess its cuz she didnt want to really get to know my life.. she didnt hang out with any of her friends til recently... til she was near rid of me.... it hurts. i get sad. i dont get it. i wish i wasnt so restricted. i miss her family, her dog, her cats, her room, her face, her laugh, her smile, etc etc. but what can you do?
i could wait forever for her to call... but she wont.. shes happier w/o seeing me...
her saying is. "i like all my ex-boyfriends, i dont want to really see them anymore, but i dont wish any harm upon them."
yeh.. well thanx... i guess.....
.... i feel for ya. i know you probably want to stay secluded, hide in your room.. but maybe you should get out this memorial weekend.
go to leas cabin.. oh wait.. you work, huh? well i do too, so maybe we can kick it... whatever...
like wank, i got your back.. just ask, fucker.

isnt this the best fucking place to live?!
i mean just coming over on the 520, you can see snowy mountains and water... to go along with that theres green everywhere!
people ask me if i want to ever move back to california.... but really... why?
ok, so they have a beach and fairly good weather, but people!! have you been down there?
the beaches are usually trash-ridden, and once you get off the sand, its a nasty nasty place. a brown haze always lingers on a hot day, unless after a good rain, in which the toxins are just now in a clear state, but still there... everything is brown, and its all flat.
cement is the major flora and for the most part, people there are rude.
and where else do you have to tell people... dont go there... aka compton...
seriously people, this is a nice fucking place to live. sure it rains a bit, but unless you work out in it, (sorry wank) its not a bother.
we get snow here. not lots or every year, but we get snow. and to get to massive amounts of snow, its only a half hr drive. in california i didnt see snow til i was 7 or so, and it was a fucking 4 hr trip! if not longer...
california also has its unbearable heat.. those 100 degree scorchers. and theres not much to do about it with the water shortage..
paint your fucking lawn green!! put weights in your toilet tank!! dont flush everytime!!!
yeah. i wanna live there.. sign me up!!
i went back to the city i was born in... west covina... the place literally made me cough. i was breathing brown. yum.
people, realize how fortunate you are to be here.
thank you, goodnight.

theres not much to do up in heyah.
tonight at work that 30 yr old chic. she told me to go on break..
she also told me that she was watching the clock, to which i kinda gave her this look..
she reassured me that she sed "im watching the clock" not "watching your cock"....
to which i told her she needs to enunciate more clearly.. =)
people make work bearable.

i remembered what i wanted to mention...
that new tool song they play on the radio all the time now....
when it first came on, i didnt like it.. i think its because it lacked the climax that i thought it should have.
they just keep saying, "i know the pieces fit" and it never really gets much heavier after that...
but.. i cant tell if i still dont like it, cuz ive had it in my head all day....
but as my mom can attest to, with her "who let the dogs out!", you can get a song that you hate going round and round in your head...
i guess i like it. but i think they can do better. i cant wait to hear the rest.

i was thinking... those monkeys.. the ones i was talking about earlier.. theyre notorious for stealing tourists' accessories...
so maybe their name came about by some guy screaming,
"NO, DONT TAKE MAH CACK!!!"
...just a thought.. my bad... dangling? shit.. im done.

also going back to yesterday.. yet again another example of people i meet knowing other people i know.. with that chic and her bro....this isnt that small of a community, why does it happen so often?! ok.. not often, but more than once.

i got to evaluate my o chem teacher.. he got good shit.. but i really want to do my phil of sci guy.. ya know? to stick it to the man!
ive got nothing good to talk about today. we're looking at yet another house tomorrow. that eyesore with no parking.. yeh..
a'ite, i'll keep yall updated.
pedazo

heh. i just looked it up.
that movie's called 967 - EVIL II
it was good enough to make a sequel..
ah jeah =)

so this chic i met at work that i went to school with.. i thought i recognized her dad, but i couldnt remember how...
anyway, i look her up tonight, and... fuck... wait.. boobs on tv... hold up...................in the shower none the less...
puts on white shirt... hmmm.. still interesting... cuz of the wet....... i think this is a horror movie... yeah.. yeah it is..
hehehe .. shes running!!!... this movie kicks ass! i think shes in hell now... nope.. its just a set... theres some random drunk guy chilling in the theatre!!!.. scary man walks up.... she fell .... he sounds like the narrarator from outer limits.. .. he just dropped a stalagtite prop in her chest!!!! shes ded! he sez.. "welcome...to hell..."
k... sorry bout the play by play.. thats a good start to a movie... what was i talking about???
oh yeah.. that chic.. so i remember where i've seen her dad before... fucking boy scouts!! her last name is berry.. shes fucking anthony berrys sister!?!?!@#@$
ok, this kid is a few years younger than me... i forget how many... but i was his patrol leader at some point in time... we went to summer camp together one year...so im thinking its from being home sick, but this kid just latches onto my arm.. with both of his...
he wont fucking let go!! i tell him to and what not.. but still.... he wont!!!
so i do what i can... i run him into walls, trash cans, totem poles, etc.
the one that finally worked was the trash can.. i knocked it over with him, and it spilled, so i told him since he did it he had to clean it up... ok.. so theres a little mean in me >=) but he was really annoying... you have no idea!!!
so... yeah.. thats shot to hell... she was hot.... =( and into latin american studies... which = boss, i think...
ahh well.....
se la vie.

post post post
bloggedy blogg
ive been posting just to post.
whats the point?
fuck.
bloggery blog fag tog blog
monkey schlong

this is for dan:
i was watching the jeff corwin experience on animal planet, and the guy was over on the island of bali in indonesia...
he participated in this play where it was a lore of a guy who lost his wife, and he went to the monkey general for help.
the monkey general got the wife back, but lit his tail on fire. it was funny...
anyway. he was showing the primates indigenous to that area. theyre called muhcacks im sure that not how its actually spelled, but it sounds like muh cack. so it was funny. theyve got red faces and brownish grey hairs.

fucking air with his monkey on his head last night looked like a floral crown of some sort. i was ready to rip it off his head =P

what i really still cant believe is that there was a cashier at texaco that was talking shit to us as we were trying to shop!
how not true to life is that?

today... woooo. where to start?
first off. my flagrantly gay boss is working.. he closed last night, meaning he was there til 1130 pm, then he opened at 630 am.
ok. fine, shitty but tolerable... then, the asian boss we have shows up, and shes not feelin so well.... im watching her... shes holding her stomach... then she puts her hand over her mouth and runs for the bathroom.. a couple minutes later, i hear a customer complaining, "you need to clean that up, thats disgusting!". sux for her =/
so.. shes the only boss, and she needs to go home, so the flagrantly gay one is on the phone for ever trying to get a hold of someone... after like an hour or two, he does.. and gets to go home at like 5, but then gets called back cuz right as he leaves, the asain boss drinks some coco and throws that up. so he comes back out of unifrom.. tee hee. and hes in a pissy mood and gets upset that im drinking out of a blimpies cup on the sales floor.

dammit. that kid i sold "stuff" to before... he came back w/o warning me, but everything went smoothly....

other things...this chic came through my line, and she knew one of the other cashiers... they were talking, then the chic looks at me and is like.. didnt you go to juanita?... i knew she did, but i never say anything... she was '99... and a damn lot hotter than she was before she came out of JHS... so shes at UW now... hmmmm...

then later on, im talking to peter, the slacker =) and i turn around to see ashleighs mom checking out.. i go over and kinda just stand there so she can see me... she sez hi... and then i see zoe, ashleigh's 6 yr old sister, who sees me, runs over and gives me a big hug... she was so excited to tell me how she was looking forward to being in the first grade next year....
so they quickly left after they were done checking out..... i dont know what emotion i was feeling... but it didnt really feel that good... i miss them, i guess... and it sux that i cant see them anymore... sad.

so im done with work, and everyones out. i knew it was gunna happen.. ah well.. i'll just go to work tomorrow... =P
im done at 10 on sat. so im hoping to do something then... please include me =( hehe. im pathetic.
works getting cooler.. im more laid back, and im being more of a smartass when people try to give me a good time...
the chic thats kinda goin with that bakery guy.. its her bday tomorrow.. she has no one to celebrate her 30th with.. hmm...

well. yall have a good weekend.

oH! so something i forgot to mention last night... i talked to that chic that i work with. she like 30 or so.. shes the one "seeing" the guy in the bakery... well. anyway, i know yall want to know this, but she told me she was going to go blow that guy that night (yes, theres a point to this). so anyway, she tells me that and our conversation heads of in other directions, like how she has to get up early and wants me to not only parcel, but to cashier for the last hour so she can get some rest before getting up at 8 the next morning.. then shes like.. yeah... cuz i dont want to wake up looking like a glazed doughnut... get it?! ;)
it took me a short while. but then it was hilarious...

so. i had this argument last night... it started out that guys are only into looks, but then later on in life move on to realizing that they want chix with a personality. i sed maybe for some, but not all... then i was told that there are so many less chix than there are guys that think like this.. that looks arent as important to chix as they are to guys. thats such BS. i think its about an equal number, if anything. their argument was all the magazines out there with the nearly naked chix... and all the self-help for chix.
isnt there shit out there for guys too? are there not male models? is there not male fitness magazine. what double standards....
i duno... you can let me know what you think...if you want... theres a spot for that in d-man new forums *plug*... i would have a link here on my page, but i dunno how to do that.. but its not that hard.. just cleek on the dan at the top of the page, and im sure you can figure it out from there....

its sweet to have forums back.

well. fuck it all. i work in 2 hrs. and i think i'll miss all the action tonight. somebody call me if you guys arent at the bars all the way til 2 am!! =P
or some of you minors, gimme a call =)
anyone?

i used to think that parcels (cart pushers' PC term) were a bunch of slackers. and although tonight was tiring, i still hold that theory, its just modified a bit. i think that all the midday parcels do shit. they just walk around finding fellow employees to shoot the shit with.
i saw this first hand today. i clocked in at 7, this other guy was off at 7:30, i kept saying... c'mon lets get some carts!! but he refused and wanted to slide through his last half hour. so all the bays outside were full. fucker.
but i got them done, and for the last hour or so there wasnt much to do.
but pushing a lot of carts is tiring. and these guys get paid the least out of everyone. hehe. im not usually a parcel, so i make like almost $5 more an hour than they do.. poor bitches. no wonder they slack.
so im tired tonight. for once. i didnt get to go to blimpies for free food cuz they gave me my break after 9. ironically i come home to my dad telling me theres blimpies in the fridge... so i do get free blimpies!!! right on!
happy times.

more proof my school is high school-like:
yeah, there was this ghetto carnival thing today, with the jumpy inflatable things and everything.
only thing is they took half of two parking lots to do it.. dont they realize parking is scarce enough as it is?!
but.. i cant complain. my o chem teacher let us out early, so i went down there and got free food.
hamburgers, chips, pop, ice cream sammiches. all FREE!
it was a lazy day. i loved it. but now theres nothing to do.. bleh.
i think i'll call cooter.
thanx for listening everyone! have a great overcast day =)
i get to push carts in it all night tonight.. hmph.

btw, i did see gladiator a second time.. fucking peer pressure.
and the only movie ive wanted to see another time, in such a short amount of time, will be out tomorrow...
shrek. it was so hilarious. =)

i saw mummy returns for the second time tonight.
i really dont like seeing a movie over so soon. i guess its cuz theres really no suspense to it.
sure you may catch a few things that you missed before, but it doesnt grab my attention as much.
people bitched when i wouldnt see gladiator again.
i only went tonight cuz i was bored all day.
but at least dan and i got to laugh about the funny parts prior to their happening, and find out that, yes, that little pygmie dood was actually riding the log that had just been blown up, just like in Dr. Strangelove.

wank is right. definately not bloggassery to the MAX lately.
seems tripat wank and i are the only ones to put something down even if theres nothing to really say.
at least i have something to look forward to =)
latre fuck rays.

so now that i dont have anything to whine and bitch about, im scraping.
but once again, i revert to my o chem teacher... hes cool.
today hes telling us how water isnt actually a conductor of electricity, its all the ions in the water.
so if you scrub down your tub really well, and pour it full of pure water, you can hop on in, plug in the toaster, toss it in with you, and
theoretically, you'll be fine =)
and i had always wondered, but he sed that you'd be fine if yer in the ocean when lightning strikes, cuz even though salt water is a damn good conductor, the oceans just so damn big, that the charge just easily disperses. thats what i thought, but i always wondered.

what else? fuck. i think ive talked to calen via email in the last couple of days that i have in any other point in our lifetimes.. heh.
im all out. i want to do something today, im bored.
oh, and btw, i like random visitors, i know some people might not, so again, my bad.
but i know i didnt overstay my welcome, at least.

small fucking world.
ok, so this one blew my mind before.
ok, so this chic at work asks me out.. this was like a year ago..
i go to a movie and kinda hang out with her. she introduces me to these other people that lived right next to keith and air in their apartments. i hang out there, kinda get to know them, then i find out that they know one of my family friends in ridgecrest, CA, known for having the most earthquakes in the US... anyway, thats where theyre from, and they went to school with brenna waters, which is actually my dads running buddy's wife's brother... heh. thats fucking crazy.
anyway, so yeah, the girl goes psycho on my ass, and she gets fired and i dont see her anymore, thank god, but im still kinda cool with those people at the apartments. then, if any of you remember, nan, keiths sister used to live in our old badass house (god rest its soul) but she moved in with somebody over in those apartments... come to find out, ITS THOSE PEOPLE!!! fucking crazy. what a big fucking loop. i guess nans friend knew them from their church somehow. its so strange.. i know nans roomates before she did. heh.

so yeah, what reminded me of this story was today im up at UW, the 9th floor (sorry dan, i might stop by later) and im in chris' and amada's room. ive looked at chris' pictures before on her closet door, and thought i recognized someone, but she was never around to ask. so i see her today, and amanda reminds me about it.. so i go.. "whos this?" she goes. "oh, thats iris"
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" i reply, thats the person i thought it was.. i went to westmont with her. thats such a fucking coincidence.
chris went to jr. high with her, but i guess have kinda faded away.. i guess she stole her boyfriend .... hmmm... shitty.
but anyway. what a small fucking world, oh
and the last bit of irony, or whatever the fuck you wanna call it..
the original "its a small world" that they might play still at that ride at disneyland. yeah, my aunt was one of the singers in that,
so im told.
alright. well. not much content. but i just thought it was weird........ to randomly know people that other people do.

but dont get me wrong.
im sorry it had to come to this.
and i still do cherish what good times we had together.
im also very greatful to see her well.
no one should have to go through what she did.

coincidence. i almost literally ran into ashleighs ex-boyfriend and current girlfriend while in fred meyer to get my dads bday gift.
hes friends with her now, but they dont see each other much. his girlfriend is really nice, yet has a lazy eye, which i didnt know when i first talked to her, so it seemed like she was always looking behind me rather than at me when talking. it was an uneasy feeling. but shit. why does that always happen?
why do i always have things to remind me of her?

but ya know what? after last night. i thought i would be really distraught today, but im not.. im actually in a good mood.
like after the initial shock of reading that someone would actually say that about my present, now that i think of it, its almost laughable. how petty is that? to kick me when im down....
i never had a high school relationship, but i think ive experienced one now.
i mean shit. she has her best friend do all the dirty work.. has her be the mediator, when really, there is no need for one.
when she wants the relationship to be over, she just stops talking to me, and then when i dont get the hint, and i want to talk to her, she writes an email that literally tells me to fuck off. what a nice person.
she cant face up to dealing with problems. how immature is that?

i dunno. what she did doesnt hurt me anymore. maybe that means im over her...hmmm...
but yeah, seriously, i used to get deeply sad because i couldnt see her anymore.. and granted, its only the day after, but usually sometime during the boringest lecture, i'll get that feeling... not today.

i think one of my biggest fears was that i couldnt get my life back, or have a life at all. i was scared that i was out of the loop. and although i was, im getting back into it. the last two weekends have been the most fun ive had in a long while.
friends are the shit. my dad keeps telling me to hold onto them. probably because he got a call today from the mom of that guy that just passed away from brain tumors. she told him that she ran into his old running buddy's wife. i guess this running buddy is in the hospital now, with a different kind of cancer.... whoopty.
he gets this call on his birthday. fun.

anyway. lighter notes.
checkin out that house tomorrow. =)
wo0t.

fuckin blogger.
well. i sent out my response to dans email. at least i think i did.
if it didnt get out, im not in the mood to redo it.
ya know, you gotta get these bitches in when you can, so here goes.

finally published my shit. i'd like you to know that although it sez 8:33 pm, its actually 10:24 pm.

yes. ashleigh is mean. i talked to maegan. she sed that ashleigh kept my birthday present from when i last saw her, but only because it was cute, and is keeping no memory from who its from, or what it means.
she still hurts me even though i havent talked to her in over two weeks.
cutting off all ties. im done. im done. i thought she might come to her senses, figure out that i did nothing to hurt her.
no, i've annoyed her to the point of hatred. great. well. ive been past the worst. this is just the tail end. showing that she cant face her problems. that was the last thing i told her... "just dont run away from your problems in life."
yeah.. that didnt go over well.....

but. im getting back into the swing of things. ive got my peeps. moving to seattle would help, so i dont have to go past her 85th exit anymore.

wow. relationships suck if they all end like this. maybe in the future i wont be as attatched and the break up will be understood, (as in verbally announced) and i'll want to move on.

anyway. life goes on. she chose to make herself look bad. but what does it matter what people think of you? especially if you never see them again, eh?

my sisters roomate that you all herd, shes been helping me through this. she doesnt think so, but she helps...
i hope she isnt embarrassed by this:

minmanner: peeps become mean because they are weak
CHiCKeNBoB10: oh.
minmanner: strong peeps wouldn't have to act like that....
CHiCKeNBoB10: i guess.....
minmanner: its true
minmanner: they would have the guts to face the problem...
CHiCKeNBoB10: that, is true.
CHiCKeNBoB10: she couldnt face up to anything
minmanner: that doesn't mean the problem gets fixed, but it's confronted..
minmanner: not just allowed to weakly slip by...
CHiCKeNBoB10: yeah......

i look more like a dumbass in that convo than anything. but yeah. shes right. ashleighs not a mean person,
she just didnt know how to handle what was going on. sux that it came to what it did though.

this is why friends that are chix are good. they can maybe kinda figure out what other chix are thinking or feeling.
i appreciate her help. and too bad all you guys were introduced in kinda a bad way...
which of you havent made complete fools of yourself when drunk?
yeah...... so... fuck my three blogs in a day.

i talked to air today. he found and was looking at this house somewhere near matts. 62nd and something, i think...
anyway, i think him, wank, and i, at least, are going to go look at it on tuesday.
also when talking to air, he mentioned he read my blog about ashley. i couldnt tell if he misunderstood what i was trying to say....
i dont mind at all that she reads it. actually, i find it fascinating that someone i hardly know would be interested in something i had to say. all i was trying to say was that its kinda unfair... how she gets to know me (kinda), without any interaction at all. meaning that i dont get to know her. i dont think im helping my cause much. oh well. i hope that kinda makes sense. im totally fine with anyone reading this though.
i think i need to call blogger out too. it wants me to publish something that isnt even there... maybe its from that hour or so i spent trying to post that one blog that dan was bitching about =)
neways. i hope yall made yo mommys happy, i think i did.
out.

tonight was way fun. im glad. it was a long day at work. but none the less, an interesting one.
i got three breaks, all spent at blimpies. oh damn. free food. i think by the third, i actually resisted the offer....
and to repay my fellow ex-coworkers at blimpies, i let these 18 yr olds purchase stuff.....hmmm......
yeah, they had a fake id, so worst case, i get fired for looking like a dumbass.. not being able to figure out that this "non-lamentated, out of state license" shouldnt be good enough for me... ok.. fine, actually, it was lamenated, but still from arkansas.. i just wanted the simpsons reference in there....

anyway. yeah, so nervous, but why? ive probably done it so many times before... ive done cigarettes, but that was different.. that was easy.... beer.. i dunno.. big step.. shit.. this is incriminating. anyway...
that blimpies is coming back to get me... argh...

anyway. tonight was fun.
yes. sympathy for wank. why is the magic number seem to always be 3 weeks? weird. anyway. yeah.... theres always that stereotype of guys being the dicks, but roles can be reversed. dont want to name names, but look at our friends... look whos the one getting dumped.. shit. anyway... yeah, i have a cell phone now. i need to get the # out so maybe when theres buffooning, i can actually hear about it.... maybe.

i got my hat back (sorry, random jumps)... it feels small.. i was kinda getting used to that virginia one. maybe liking it better...
damn you po for wanting what is.... umm. kevins.. hehe .. nah, nothin but love.. sorry bout the mix up. im a dick when it comes to shit like that.. my bad.

another thing on my mind. ashley talking tonight. she reads all our blogs, knows all about us... rattles all this stuff off...
its really weird though, cuz i know nothing about her. i remember on new years, actually having a decent conversation with her.. and thinking "wow. shes opening up." but.. i think that was the only conversation we've had.... we've both still seemed to warm up to the group over the time, but i still no relatively nothing about her, and well.. shes probably reading this right now, learning more about what i think about... (sorry to use you as an example). its not creepy, its just... well. i dunno. one-sided or something.

neways. my sister and friends are becoming part of my social life.. ... its really weird. im still having kind of a bit of troubles fitting them in comfortably... i mean theyre fun... but i got my posse... ya know?

i see more and more people from high school. and its like every maybe fifth one or so is pregnant. its mind boggling.
theyre trying to grow up too fast. or actually, maybe are forced to grow up too fast. i felt old for the first time today. i was talking to those guys at blimpies, we were talking about getting high... he sed he had a party to go to, and he'd invite me, but he didnt think that i'd wanna hang out with a buncha high school kids.. which is true, but then it hit me.. ive been out of high school for three fucking years... and what do i have to show for it? i live at home, and im still tied to my old way of life. the old high school community. i live in the same fucking area. where everyone comes back to for holidays. where all the slackers and drop outs are still attatched to this community. they cant get out.
i think i could. but im too lazy too. or my opportunity hasnt come yet. next year though... next year...

fucking rock bottoms.... i had just nursed my latest rug burn on my elbow back to health, then i get another one tonight... fuh.
people say that wrestlings fake. yes, it may be choreographed, but those fuckers take spills outside of the ring, and i can attest that its fucking hurts for at least a bit after it happens. at least the initial shock of trying to be pushed through the ground.
i love that shit though.. i cant get enough of it.. whats wrong with me?
gymnasts are looked upon as fags, but those guys are harcore. to make it cool they had to go and invent break dancing.
that shit rocks too. josh from westmont does that. hes my hero. this is the guy who would come up behind me when im walking and just leap onto my shoulders, smacking his sack into the back of my neck. what agility for him. also. how the hell did i hold him up?

mothers day tomorrow. my dads birthday the day after. im such a bad son. ive gotten neither of the nothing. (was that se correctly?) my mom, i'll end up getting a cat. or something to that effect, so matt when have something more to rant about if he ever drags his ass over to the eastside again, and for my dad, well shit. a dvd or cd. this is months of enjoyment for him. when my mom was gone, it was non-stop 24/7 either bob dylan or perfect storm. did i talk about the air guitar? how he cranks the radio up, saying "your mom never lets me put it on 32!!! (volume)" then he proceeds to dance around doing air guitar. i leave the room and come back to see him on his back, yes, still doing air guitar, and spinning in circles on the floor. for those of you who dont know, my dad is a pimp. he has the furry coat, pants, and pink shirt to prove it. ;)

kevin, and now kevins dad, want me to move up to bellingham. i guess his folks bought a place, and have room for me.. um, yeah, for the 5th, and probably not final time, my answer is still no. what about keith? didnt he have that landscaping thing all worked out for him up there?

jeah. that bes it outta me. this was kinda long and jumpy. oh well. dont people think about a lot of different things in a day anyway?
i think i want to see my sister drunk. shes already seen me drunk, no fair.
air wants to see my sister drunk, but only to maybe get jake over... hehe

dan came up with this brilliant name for if i ever changed the title of my blog... shinablogger. genius.
i really like that.
and im spent.

so whos to say what rite of passages to manhood, or at least adulthood are. wank touched on this topic before.
i dont really want to get into it, but i hung out with my sister tonight.
in the past, i'd do anything to get away from her and not be seen with her.
maybe its because i have no other options, maybe its because ive realized that yeah, she can be fun and unique too.
shes got her own life, and as weird as it is that yes, she could have a boyfriend, im going to have to accept that in the future. so anyway, yeah, i wonder if this is just another one of those steps in life.
yeah. i dunno.

well. manuel wonders why theres nothing good to read.. its probably cuz theres not much out there..
i know thats why i write, cuz theres nothing to actually read.
geez.. always attacking the blogs. maybe if i had two mine would be cooler.. heeh.
ok
two things i forgot to mention about work.
two things, people!
one, once you put your shit out on the belt, thats it! no going back for more shit! when im done ringing all your shit up, and the people behind the fuck that left are just staring blankly at you, or pissed.. what can i do? say.. um. yeah.. i dont know where the hoser went, eh. you always think you'll be fast, but im faster motherfucker. be courteous, dont make people wait.

the other thing is... ok, i know people are lazy, and i also know that most people are stupid, but theres nothing to be done about stupidity, so for the laziness... with your cart... put it right infront of me so i can put bags into it... this concept is beyond most people.
they want to put the cart far away and forget about it, thinking that theyre done with it.. dont they know that all that shit is just immediately going back into the cart!? so for all you lazy sons of bitches, put the cart next to me.. it takes more effort to push it past me, and.. when it comes to that time, i can just put the bags in the cart, and you wont have to do it. see? less work.. dumbfucks.

ok. so no one cares about that. but hey. manuel went off on restaurant courtesy, so he cant complain....
oh, btw, i also dont like being handed trash. its not a dumping station. you get all the shit back that you came to me with except your money.

goddamn. you think people would get it right.. since shopping is probably a once a week thing out of all of their adult life.

this is what i woke up to this morning on my radio alarm clock set to the end:
"this next band was going to call themselves BMX girl, but they ran the name by james hatfield of metallica who sed
'beer good, BMX girl bad'
so they changed their name the american hi-fi."
heh.

mkay. well. yeah. blogger was really messed up earlier, i couldnt get rid of that second post. i might have fixed it... we'll see.
so yeah. school sucked today. probably nearly failed both my midterms.
then i got into this funk with thinking about ashleigh.. why is it that when its a good day its never a good day for me?
neways. work was better, it was fairly slow, and i got to have two breaks, although i went to blimpies, and blimpie jim was there, so i had to tab my $3 sammich. although he left, so i got the drink and cookie for free =)
then i came back for my second break and got more cookies and drinks for free =)
but yeah.. matt. old people.. some are cool. others need to... i dunno. have help?
this guy came through my line, his eye was so fucking red, the lower lid part, it was making my eyes water. but this guy, he buys a 78 cent hunk of ham, and 3 garlics for a dollar. after i ring up the garlic, he starts talking to me, although its not even in english, and i cant even tell if it was russian... he was talking so quietly. so i was like.. do you not want the garlic? he keeps talking his language, so im like.. so you dont want the garlic.. he kinda nods... so i take off the garlic. so he pays 78 cents for the fucking ham, then a minute later hes looking in his bag and looked confused.. hes motioning to the garlic i put behind me.. ...ok, so he wants the fucking garlic? he keeps motioning to it, and im like.. dood, you told me to take it off.. he keeps talking funny talk, so the lady behind him is like.. so thats a buck? just put it on my bill... so i was like.. ok whatever... and the guy got his garlic and left. stoopid foreign old people. at least try to talk to me with motions, dont just talk your funny language to me like im supposed to understand you.

oh! so the better part of the night, my old lesbian boss who know works at the issaquah store came back to visit. she has a good setup over there.. great hours, but she just doesnt like it there, so she might come back. that would be awesome. shes the best lesbian boss i ever had. and yeah.. best boss ever. theres this chic that comes by freddys that looks exactly like her girlfriend, and this chic has a girlfriend. my -exboss thinks that that chic probably thinks shes stalking her, cuz she even mistakes her for her girlfriend, i mean this is like identical twins shit, but not. so yeah. i want her to come back. we have good times, and she lets me off early sometimes too =) its my boyish charm ;)

oh shit! so i was talking to my sisters roomate, i had sent them this pic that air had made of me, cutting my head out and pasting it on some nearly naked chix body. i think my picture was my senior picture, when my hair was really curly.
so anyway, they put this pic as their background. then this friend of theirs comes by, who i dont know, and she sees the background. she sez "whos that?" they say, "who do you think it is?"
"justin timberlake"
they say "yup"
..........
FUCK! do i really look like that fag!?!?! i mean hes no backdoor, but still!!!!!!!
goddamn. and i hate having curly hair too....
sheit.

i dont want to think about ashleigh anymore.
why does my head keep insisting that i do?
she was mean to me, she lied to me on several occasions.
the thought of me annoys and angers her.
why should i be drawn to someone like that?
she wont let me talk things through with her.
she doesnt want to talk to me at all.
tomorrow will me 2 weeks since not talking to her.
i left saddened. she remained pissed.
fuck. what did i do to deserve that treatment?
why is she ready to throw our friendship away?
stubborn girl.
i want friendship. you want friendship.
wheres the problem?
i go between wanting to bitch slap sense into you,
to feeling bad, feeling shat upon for only caring,
and putting all my worth into what we had.
is there a reason you wont have me around?
fuck it. asking wont solve anything.
forgetting is what i need.
forget forget forget.
dammit.

i think i need to take a shit.

as i find out yesterday that i have a midterm in o chem tomorrow.
as i find out today that i have a midterm in calculus tomorrow.
so i did what every bastard would do: call in sick at work.
im usually not one to do this, but for one, fuck fred meyer, and two, i really really need to study....
mmmmmm... necrophilia.. oh, my bad.
yeah. its not a total lie. im not feeling up to par, ive had this runny nose and sore throat since monday...
maybe i could just get a shitload of wow chips and add some leaky ass to the mix of things....
or... maybe not, cuz freddys doesnt care that much. although they'll probably be fucked tonight =)
thats what they get.
so, im bound and determined that once im off this computer (which should be in the next 10 mins.) that im going to do nothing but study... too bad it should be nap time and not study time... too bad it will probably turn out to being that anyway.. seeing as how i went to sleep at 4 am after putting writing that paper off all last night. computer, you will be the death of me.
so time for studying.
oh, and btw, for those of you who werent there... shrek was so damn funny. the best movie ive seen in a while.. and it was PG!
but it did have its share of inuendos.

i need a hat. im a dick.

yesterday lipids.
today sugars.
more trivial shit you dont want to hear about.
you ever remember hearing about how they say saccharine might give you cancer? and how they only "learned" this by pumping mice full of the shit in a short amount of time? well yeah, ive herd that story, but i didnt know that the amount was one third the mouses body weight every day! jesus! youd get cancer from eating that much of anything!!
oh, and the other thing, was nutrasweet.. unlike the speculation of harm from saccharine, nutrasweet has been shown to fuck with the equilibrium of the water in your brain. if that just means that you get vertigo (which i doubt, cuz i think thats an inner ear thing) or if it means that your brain gets either a lot of pressure put on it or shrivels from lack of water, depending on the hypo(er)tocity of the cerebrospinal fluid...
yeah.. so dont eat that shit. if you want an alternative, theres invert sugar which has the bond that connects the fructose to the glucose to make the sucrose already broken, so you only need about a third of this stuff to equal the sweetness of regular sucrose (table sugar). this kinda goes along the lines of honey. some of the bonds are already broken, hence the sweeterness.

ok. shat. no real good content.
i'd talk about ashleigh, but theres nothing to say. shes moving on. leaving everything behind. not caring...
alright. um. yeah. cell phone. does seem to have very good reception the two times i've used it.. we'll see.
amidyamidyamidy, thats all folks.

too many posts in one day. thank god its a new one.
well.. i did it.. i broke down... im fucking connected...
any of yall can contact my ass whenever you damn well please...
i... am cellular.
i always kinda liked the idea of not being at everyones beck and call... on the other hand, it kinda sucked to not be able to get a hold of anyone whenever i wanted...
but i think the time has finally come... im living back at home, and my parents are dead against answering the phone. which leaves that job up to me...
so i answer, and hung up a lot on all those damn salespeople, but then i always have to run up stairs to tell them the phone, yes, is for the people that live there..
probably why the people called...
they wont get caller ID
1. people can wait to leave a message if they really want to talk to us.
2. i cant memorize everyones number.
3. i dont want to have to go to the phone to see who it is..

well.. shit. first of all, NO. people get annoyed by talking to a damn machine, anyone with caller ID knows that the name goes with the number for most callers,
and.. yer gunna hafta answer the phone anyway, so why not have it in hand to see who it is?

anyway.. yeah... so i got this tiny ass phone. its kinda cool.
we'll see. i guess i could always not answer the phone like kevin does if i dont want to....
yup. latah

why do i torture myself?
spy mission to places i cant go. sky cab is there. i am replaced.
good to see things go on without me. or not.
feeling like rigazzi returns.
why is everyone into masking feelings on 'blog?

"high school is weird to revisit."
"They're kids! They're little!"
"Shit! I mean like sub-Trav size!"
-manuel
i kill you.
i make you look like your plastic pants-dropping doll when i get done with you.

no good content to really spew.. although last night coming home from airs i was a victim of the slow motherfucking vengeful drivers that think that going the speed limit is wrong, and why not 15 mph under, to show the person (me) behind them whats up. needles to say, i took advantage of the suicide lane =)

fucking disco stu. i miss you.
i saw him last night. goddamn hes a fucking spring board.
i sit on the couch, after 5 minutes of jumping on my balls.
he comes over and starts eating my arms!
naturally, i try to sedate him, but he only makes a fucking game out of it.
eventually its to the point where im hiding myself in the corner of the couch and hes springboarding off my fucking back.
biting at the back of my fucking skull, taking chunks of hair that gets caught in his teeth.
then, after he wears himself out, he decides to use me as a pillow while he trys to catch up on his sleep.. nosing around, making himself more comfortable.. taking up the whole damn couch.
goddamn i miss that fucker.
i hear is namesake was on the simpsons last night too.

anyway. reiteration. my o chem teachers cool. he makes all these molecules mean something by applying them to life.
i mean its not all that cool if yer not in o chem, but still, i find it interesting.
we're going over lipids, and he did a brief talk on olestra.. showed its structure and said how it kinda hits the same taste receptors as fats, and isnt digestable, but on the other hand, it leeches all the lipid-soluble molecules with it, which includes vitamins, so it sucks all those out of your bloodstream and intestines and whatnot. and even though they put 200% of the RDA recommended amount of these vitamins in with the food that contains the olestra, your net gain is still at a loss.
to go along with this, there are intestinal problems with the prescence of olestra, and can lead to anal drippage.. mmm.. fun...

this other subclass of fat we went over are called terpenes, which isnt important, but an example is beta carotine, which he showed the structure for, and it was rather large, which means it reflects the lower levels of the visible light spectrum, mainly orange. so yeah, this shits all up in the carrots, and btw the notion of beta carotene helping vision is false, although i think it is used in sight, but by eating more, you get nothing of it, although if you do consume mass quantities of carrots, your skin will turn orange =) i did know that, but the thing i didnt know was that theres a lot more beta carotene in plants than there is chlorophyll, but for some reason the chlorophyll wins out, until, in the fall when all the chlorophyll dies, and yup, you get the orange color from the beta carotene before the whole leaf dies. never really thought of that before, but it seems so sensible.

ok. my bad. i like science, fuck you!
i thought it was interesting. =P

ok. so i thought about it, and what i was writing about pertaining to matt didnt come out right... i think.
all i was trying to say was that theres nothing to be threatened by through what he writes... thats all...
oh, and mel joining? this is insanity!

well, now i want to tell a story.. some of you have already herd it.. but here goes:
last night at work, my boss comes up to me and asks if i can stay an extra hour. i think about it, and say NO, cuz im already working way too many hours next week.. so he sez that he didnt do that... so how bout i do this for him, since i never stay later when asked. well first of all, theres a reason for that... but anyway, i break down and say ok..
but then i get to thinking.. just the day before this guy was going off on me about stuff that wasnt even my fault! and, he was berating me infront of co workers. not professional, i think...
so after my break, i walk up to him and go... "yeah, im not going to work that extra hour.." and hes like, "what? wait.. you already sed you would so by contract, you have to." so i sed "so ... if i do decide to leave then i'd get written up?" he says, "yup"
then i say.. get this "well, then i guess i'll just do that then." he was like "what? why are you doing this?" so i basically told him that i didnt like him calling me out infront of friends and coworkers... so he got distracted for a sec, then turned back, and was like.. "ok.. fine. dont worry about it."
i rule!! it felt like it was something straight outta 'office space'. i felt so good after pulling that shit off.. .finally standing up for what i felt.
i couldnt tell if he was pissed or not, but he let me go right at 9, when i was supposed to be off...
then it was off to party...... sucky 9th floor peeps.. always something else to do.
but i tell ya what... booting up is something else.... damn.

headache. ak!
boot. whUt!
last night was fucking incredible..
got some riggazi, lost some rigazzi....

hmm... for once im at a loss for words on blogger...
well. i dont really want to comment on the blog wars, but im thinking its subsiding now...
but wanks right, blogging is for yourself, and of course its out there for anyone to critique, but yeah.. attacking the basis of blog?
although matt, dood, this new angle? brutal honesty? i think theres already some out there. your angle isnt very new...
its complaining about shit at work. (?)
alright, im done with that..

yeah, so dan helped me figure out last night that ashleigh has just been really really mean to me... and for what purpose?
i was there for her when no one else but her mom was.. what spells friendship more than sticking with someone through their hardest times? wouldnt you want that friendship? rather than just having someone that would say "i would do anything for you"
but to actually see it in effect? i just dont get it. and why the total lying to make me feel shitty? she hasnt been striaght with me since valentines day... i guess she really really wanted to just leave me and move on with life...
i feel so worthless and used. she had my love. she took it when she needed it. then its like ive been annoying her all along, and she was just trying to be nice because i might get the hint that she just is really annoyed by who i am. but it got to the point where i didnt get the hint, i wanted to be around her still, and she finally snapped... saying all this shit that isnt true to try to push me away... too bad i still want to see her.. am i the stupidest person ever? or just the most desperate? or do i just think that for some reason she'll finally see or ask herself... "what am i doing?"... but im pretty sure i know her, and shes got this thought in her head that she doesnt want to see me anymore, or doesnt need me, so shes bound and determined to make it happen.. no matter if she still likes to have me around or not. its the only real drawback i ever saw in her... shes overly stubborn.
other than that.... she's the best to just hang out with. fuck. and she never wants to talk to me again. she never let me explain myself.... and shit. she never even explained herself!!
its hard to work things out with people like that. its too bad. really too bad. we had so much fun together.
butt fuck. what can i do about it? whine and fucking cry? been there already. wont get her back. but i just have to accept the fact that she hates me for who i am and what ive shown to her that is me. that hurts a lot. cuz its not like i deserved to get tossed to the curb. i always put her ahead of me. fucking pedestals. maegan still talks to me. its not like im an ass, its not like i've changed in any way. theres just something about me that she cant stand to be around? i'll never know. but shes gone to lengths to make me feel like shit. thats not cool. ya know? sure she was understanding in the beginning, but shit? did it require those means? dont lie and say horrible things just to berate the other person, to make them feel like shit. brutal honesty would probably hurt a lot more.. unless there was no real reason for letting me go. wtf? it took me a while, but i accepted the idea of friends. you never gave me a chance. you say, "yes, i know youre just excited to not have seen me in almost a month. and thats why you keep stopping by." but then she just basically says that she doesnt ever want to see me again... she doesnt give me a chance to settle down.. i was so ready to after the weekend.. jesus! weekends are the loneliest times! so much freetime, even with working! why she gotta be like that? now i cant even see her family anymore.. i had to fucking explain to zoe that ashleigh doesnt like seeing me everyday... good thing i didnt have to tell her... well. ashleigh told me to go home and never talk to her again.. what do you think of your big sister? to which zoe would reply by saying "come jump on the trampoline with me!!!"
so yeah. i thought i was the luckiest fuck ever finding her and a family like that. i knew more than just her nuclear family too. her gandma, grandpa, aunts uncles, cousins. her two year old cousin.. lily. so smart. i think she had a crush on me. when her and her parents would leave, they'd say. "who does lily want to kiss?" and lily would choose me over ashleigh ;)
i dont know why little kids are attracted to me. or maybe its just a baby thing and i havent seen it with anyone else... but they always fucking smile when they see me.. or at the airport, or on the bus.. they'll be waving their hands in the air so they can stay on their little chubby legs, and then they'll tap me on the shoulder... what the hell? its like i cant get away from it. whatever.
its not that i dont mind. its just weird. and with dogs.. like stu. he tries to rape me... he loves me. why does he only play growl around me? oh yeah. im his bitch. shit.
well.. shit. long ass blog. i thought i had nothing to say. maybe i actually didnt say much anyway. whatever. i dont give a damn. i feel a bit better after writing this.
oh yeah.. one more thing....
beefamato.

ok.. first of all... when did we start this 'trial period' shit?
AND.. when did it have to be three posts every day for three days?
ummm.. i think im the only one out of the previous six to ever do that, thank you...
as for matt, he shouldnt get shat on for being pissed at old ladies... work sux dick, and you need to let go somehow...
sure i give a little more attention and patience to old people because, they are just that, old people, but c'mon, matt gave a disclaimer.
hes just letting off steam, hes not trying to offend anyone....
fuck the trial period, i say. even if he only posts a couple times a week.. how different is that from some of you?
i'd still rather read something from that buffoon than nothing at all ever... you bastages.. trying to keep the alliance down to a chosen few... ah.. fuck it... im in, forget about matts lame ass...
oh wait. that wasnt my argument...
give the guy a break.. apparently he is adding to his blog on a frequent basis... i got his back...
maybe we should just have a vote with the exsisting alliance... so.. i say "AYE!"

as for last night.. after the movie.. it was still a great time even though people were passing out (from boredom) left and right. walks to 7 - 11, and a drive to J in the C, with manuel, B and i ready to rumble, and manuel dissappearing into the trunk.. you crazy fuck! i shouldnt have let you out!

well, ballz. air just called.. the guy with the house in wallingford just sold it... so no monkey room for me =(
ah well.. life in the basement of my parents isnt too bad: free rent, and im feeling more and more likely to tell work to fuck off since theyre giving me so many hours. ok.. so i always say that and ive only done it once...
but this new guys a fag (literally), and he probably doesnt even know who i am even though hes been there for like months.. i went up to him yesterday for my paycheck, and he sed, "yes, may i help you?" like i was a fucking customer! i dont think hes the brightest of people either, from the way the other bosses under him talk about him. but, piss me off, im only supposed to have 15 - 20 hrs at the most, and theyre giving me 26, and theyre probably going to be bitches and sneak in another 4 - 5 hrs on sunday next week like they did this week. fuckers.
um. ok, im done. my bad.
whats going on tonight?

so its only been a week since i stopped talking to ashleigh.. it feels like its been a lot longer... then.. i realize..
well.. lets see.. before last friday, the last time i saw her was the pimps n hos weekend, then before that was the weekend right before break, so march 19th-ish, then before that i believe it was the end of february after the two week strectch from valentines day...
now i know thats only two months, and thats not a lot of time, but i have only seen her two weekends out of those two months.
and so, of course, i miss her and dont think i see her enough...
miss congeniality came out on video today.. i was going to get that for her when it did come out.. but.. yeah. not so much anymore... move on! right?

so.. the impossible happened today... guess what it is....
i SPOKE during class!!!! yeah, i know, speak? me?
but well.. before you get all excited, it was my philosophy of science class, and everyone has dropped it, so there was all of six people and the teacher listening to what i had to say... it was cuz this fuck brought up how some archaeologists are having this movement away from traditional archaeological methodology... although he didnt know what that was, but he just thought he'd mention it.. so seeing as how i just took arch. last quarter, i filled him in...
although.. i do give this guy credit.. he told a blonde joke today that i actually found pretty funny.. its not gunna sound as good on "paper", but here goes...
Q: why did the blonde go to church?
A: cuz she herd there was a guy there that was hung like this (arms spread wide )
get it?! ;)
yeah... the topic of the class sux, but the people make it bareable....

hmm... so blogger was down last night when i wanted to tell about talking to maegan.... she has a break from soccer and was taking full advantage... her and her not so attractive roomate dee were taking beer shots every other minute.. cuz every minute was getting to them.... she was having fun, i enjoyed talking to them both... she hadnt talked to ashleigh yet, since like a couple weeks ago or so, so she couldnt just reassure me that shes doing well and what not... shit... im really hung up, huh?

other than that, air and i hung out last night.. my dads living up the "bach'in it" with my mom gone, and ordered us a couple pizzas while we watched smackdown... good stuff... although after eating, air and i were both struggling to stay awake..
and air, the poor bastard had to go to school afterward! ha ha!

tonight = mummy = boss

so im in the neighborhood, and stop by keith and airs place. and yeah.. true to form, its unlocked. so i go in and find stu on keiths bed... damn were we glad to see each other... always with the pouncing on the nutsack.. jealous bastard...
so anyway, i take a tour of airs room.. . how depressing! theres no windows, and walking around the room, its so small that you cant help tripping over the bed! no furniture, just a computer and a matress.... geez... no wonder hes ready to move to the WESTSIDE!
so. i take stu outside for some play. i grab his kong, and we play catch for a bit....
im throwin, and on one of his returns, he takes a detour to shit, immediately dropping the kong, before his load. although, this kong happens to be directly under his ass.. so stu shat on the kong. he finishes up his business and noses around for the kong, nudging the shit off of it... he picks it up and drops it at my feet... yeah right, buddy, way to ruin the game. so i leave him behind his fence. back to his dull life of abandonment by his true owner. he looks sad and confused as i leave.
oH! btw. good to see monkey bot joining the ranks...
that kevin bacon thing pissed me off!! i could only find an infinite amount or nothing higher then three... piss me off.
alright. more later.
peace.

i wasnt gunna write again, but fuck it, today ruled!
i went to work and found out that they have all these cashiers in training, meaning that they do all the work! so i got kicked outta the checkstands, and my "job" was to make sure that all the red baskets were equally distributed throughout the store...
the 5 mins after being told that, me and this other guy peter, whose job i dont really know, walked around the store with me...
serious babeage today, boys. actually, it was kinda funny... alyssa coward from high school comes in.. wearing this mid-riff shirt that ties in the back... this chic is hot!.. so peter and i kinda follow her around... we grab these "caution wet floor" signs and oh.. damn.. look at that.. shes right where theyre supposed to go! so we kinda run up there and peter puts his away.. i think she kinda felt that we were all up in her face.. really funny.. we got caught... i wonder if she even recognized me.... hmm...
prolly not without the hat and all.... but anyway, i never knew! we walk around, and its like every guy in the fucking store is talking about her.. saying.. "did you see that one chic?...." i was like... yeah.. she graduated with me... they were like... well how old is she.. me: i think 19 or 20... theyre like.. damn.. she needs to work at the vu and shake them bitties or something...
yeah.. this whole fucking perverted world in freddys that i was never aware of... where have i been!!!?
i mean jesus, me, peter, the produce guy, the food guy, the health and beauty aids guy.. the whole fucking store's in on this shit.. crazyiness... so basically, peter gives me some pointers... find a clipboard, and walk around with that for a bit.. that'll give you a good hour or so before anyone figures out what youre doing.... so i try that.. worked pretty damn well, i must say.. then glen, this asian friend of mine, shows up, and we push a few carts... then we go to home electronics where i run into drew... coutures little bro.. sez that he finally went over there.. and all these "babes" that chris has been bragging about for so long...
actually turned out to be "heffers".... that is SO chris.. gotta love the guy... so yeah.. also met Fatty McFatt there with her roomates, sans nan (keiths sis) and i talked to the roomates for a bit.. theyre cool. they were trying to give air shit about up and leaving so soon.. but i put them in their place.. i told them whats actually up...
so then they finally catch me and put me in the express lane.. with an hour and fifteen minutes left in my shift.. .damn. almost made it.. but it wasnt so bad... not very many people..
so then they decide to make me fill up all the registers with the register tape.. again, that takes like a minute.. then i wander around the store until my remaining time is up. all in all, a good day at work... when i grow up, i want to be just like peter...
i saw him driving away from the store today, in his hooptie ride... has this chunky dood in shotgun with 420 on this arm... funny shit.. that was a fatty 420 on a fatty arm...
neways.. yeah.. my bad. i talk about not worrying, then i whine about ashleigh or whatever.. actually nah.. all i sed was that it sux that she hates me.. theres no worrying there... just plain sadness. worrying will just make me throw up more....
although i did talk to maegan on AIM for a sec... i think she thought i was trying to milk info out of her or something... it sux when it gets to the point that any kind of interaction is perceived as annoying... i probably brought it on myself though...
shit.

oh.. and person this pertains to:
yeah, maybe i did have to go and delete some things about keith for a moment there...
but i say what i feel, and thats what makes my blog good...
at least i'd like to think that its good.
and i encourage you to do the same and not give a fuck about what other people think...
(for the most part, since i did edit for keith)

so... i've been watching my friends worry about the most menial shit when it comes to women in their life. stuff that seems silly if you take a step back... im not saying that i wouldnt do it, or that i havent done it, because as you have read, i am a victim...
but why? why do we put ourselves through such torture? when most of the time things turn out fairly well anyway.
i think its that for the people that are doing this its because they lack something.. they lack a pre-exsisting relationship that would give them the confidence to know that yeah, some chix do like them, and yes, you can support the weight of their feelings.
i think even after my little....whatever.. that sadly i still lie in this category. i didnt get enough of a real relationship to get a grasp on this confidence. but anyway.. what im trying to say is just... take a step back at what youre worrying about. if this chic does really like you, then things will go well, and theres nothing to worry about.. you'll get confidence from that.. i know its hard, and im sure i probably couldnt practice it, but its what you need. chix dont want the whiny.. 'why dont you like me? what did i do?'
that shits just annoying.. ya know? that and constantly worrying. thats just self destruction. but yeah.. practice what you preach..
can i do that? well. i couldnt last time.. but maybe i'll learn from my mistakes....
although i would like to think that my scenario is quite a bit different than most.
but maybe just take a step back, and ask yourself 'what am i worrying about? and wont this just be resolved soon anyway?'

yeah.. neways. other topics.. so that roadkill that i saw yesterday... still there. although weirdly now that its being decomposing for a day its more distinguishable. maybe because it got run over again and got flipped around to where i can see the head...
its a raccoon..... although more limp and dull than yesterday. it wasnt as intruiging.. just a pile of dead parts.

so. lately i havent felt like i've really needed to talk to ashleigh anymore. i think ive almost explained myself thoroughly enough to her. it just makes me sad that it seems that she could be perfectly content living her life without ever talking to me again.

im kinda excited about finding out how convenient ballard freddys might be from wallingford. hopefully they can handle the fastest fucking employee from totem fucking lake. or at least have room for me.. i'll have to look into it. alap.

but for now, my animosity for school (at least my first two classes) drives me. im getting through the drab part of life. taking shit i dont like. but i just realized today. hey, a try at a universal education is good! how the fuck else would i realize that i hate philosophy without ever taking it?! although i still havent narrowed down my true interests. balls.

well.. i'd love to write more, cuz theres not a damn thing to do between now and the hour and a half til work. but then people fall asleep at the computer, and thats a lot of time wasted where you could quickly finish up reading my blog and have a look at some of those lesbian porn sites im always "hearing about".
late yall.
oH! btw, my song for my bday was "Woman In Love" by Barbra Streisand.
sheit. why did i get the homo one?

yeah man. it was hard to leave the last night i was there....
it was like i was leaving everyone behind.. i couldnt handle it... that coupled with ashleigh dismissing me, i wasnt doing so well....
i didnt realize how much i actually missed stu until i helped air drop of the last bit of furniture... i let him jump and lick all over...
i miss that hyper bitch. i think he missed me too. he knows im his bitch.....dammit.
tripat started all this shat off with his mentioning of crossroads.. hes there, im there, airs there... whos following?
i can almost watch my life changing, and im lucky enough to recognize it, so i can relfect on it.
i liked the house we looked at... a lot. even though my rooms kinda small.. its unique, its the fucking monkey room! but i think living in seattle will be exciting. much more lively. i'll also have to find a new job. theres no way in fuck im driving my ass to kirkland just to work, when everythings goin on over on the westside. maybe i can work in fucking ballard or something... too bad i dont even know how far that is from wallingford, or how to get there from there.
as for ashleigh... i think she was really good for me. she taught me a lot of things. i think we did fit well. im sorry things got confused.
im sorry we've gotten to the point where we cant talk anymore. im sorry she takes my excitement for friendship as neediness to get back with her. we need to get out of our rut. time will help.. .fucking time. i just hope that our time meant enough to her to where she would want to talk to me again. i hope im not alone on that. thats my biggest fear.. that all she'll remember is the last couple months of annoyance, and not want that back so she'll be perfectly content not seeing me again. thats why i have so much pain. it was special to me. but was it to her?
my sisters roomate was telling me a list of things that her perfect guy must have... although i dont really believe in certain 'must have' characteristics in a person, i do think it might be a good guideline... but anyway.. she asks me for mine. i dont have one, but i start naming things off... they all encompassed ashleigh...coincidence or maybe i was using her as all i know as a guide, i sucked. i miss her. its a lot more different now knowing that i might possibly never talk to her again... before i knew i would.. now it seems more like retrospect. i question how she goes about things, but i love her, and wish her the best in life still.. id do anything for her.

enough of that. i miss stu, i miss playing fetch with a 2x4 with ozzy, i miss playing on the computer from my bed. i miss icqing roomates all the way in the other room, i miss being able to pass out in my own house..ass up even, if i want!... i miss being able to ask my friends whats up without calling... i miss late night deep talks or random ones at that..
but those are all good memories that i'll always have, and more will be made. in a new place, but in time, that will be known as home, and i will love it just as much.
with exception to the absence of ashleigh.. life is going well. and i look forward to where its leading me. its about to be turned upsidedown, but maybe that will help define me.. throwing myself in not so comfortable situations... seeing how i cope, how i manage.
also its who sticks with you... who can you count on. its interesting to see who i put myself around when i first meet a group of friends... then to see who i actually end up hanging with and leaning on and giving support... its not what you figure...
so that shows you dont know what to expect with life... where it will lead you... thats why its exciting, thats why i look forward to it.
thats why i take the occasional risk. its why i like the unexpected. its why adventure is so exciting.
i want to travel, i want to hike. experience everything. where the hell am i going with this?
oh yeah.. trip? what were you saying?

this post is for air. since hes gots no innnnernet no mo.
po' bastard:
"umm. yeah, some dumbshit tried to pick a fight with me during trips party.... i just laughed.. i dont think he noticed the size of my man boobies.
boss! we looked at the house in wallingford, we named all the rooms: monkey room (travs), shelf room (mine) scary closet room, midget closet room, and welding room. this place would be boss for ficus parties (aka keg). im looking forward to living in seattle with guys who like to party, but can be mellow. it took 2 fucking hours to fill out the applications yesterday, i didnt know what to put down for my job since... well.. im illegal. shit.
now i get to live in my closet for another month with keith. i have to put up with walking through puddles in the kitchen to get to my coffee. thats not what i need to wake up with.. just the coffee will do.
another fucking month. i hope we get this place."
....thanx air =)

so i saw today, on the drive home from school, what probably was the worst case of raod kill ever....
this shit was bad... i think it was a cat, but it was in a lot of pieces, and this didnt look like normal road kill, i.e. flat.
this was kinda like that fucking horse from 'the cell' where it was all sliced and you could see the coelom and shit. although, of course this one on the side of the road wasnt in so many cross-sections. it was groetesque, although intriguing... probably something that fuck from 'american beauty' would tape. limbs and shit everywhere....

anyway. so the weathers funky today, eh? got that fat drop shit like back in cali... although this is a lot more sparatic from mile to mile, stopping then coming back again.

so.. i feel bad in phil of science... this class started at a full class, maybe 30 - 40...but now, what? 4 weeks in or so, for the last couple days i think our number has dwindled down to 7 or 8, and for tests, i think theres about 10 or 11 of us. i dont really mind, but lately, ive been so fucking tired. and although i sit in the back, the desks are only 3 deep, and i sit right in the middle.. right where the prof stares at my sleeping ass... i found my mind wandering a lot today. the shit he talks about isnt really interesting, or its really redundant.

so yeah... christine. finally met her. i dont think if i snuck up on her i'd ever meet her =P
but she seems cool. we got fred fucking meyer in common, so we had something to bitch about for a bit. =)
and she knows the freddy lingo too!
kinda funny to see manuel excited to see people keep coming into his house, then po with his 'wtf!?' when he gets home.
but yeah.. that shits weird. coming home to no one that lives there.. i remember a party with tera and the backstreet assfucks.
"i think you need to shake the guiness to make it better.... cuz its got that little clanky thing inside, like in a spray can"
.....as we now need to shampoo our carpet. you dumbshit.

what else? off to work in an hour. i found a pic of ashleigh on my computer last night and got sad. sux. fuck.
oh well. maybe she'll eventually get past the idea that im so needy, or whatever the prob was.. if not. sad times, but i'll live.
time for food.