just a matter of waiting now.
i leave in about 8 hrs.
no time for sleep.

now i know why they tell you to drink water after drinking.
not only does it rehydrate you, but on the off chance that you throw up again after throwing up everything you ate already, there will be at least water to purge.
but after that water's gone,
and theres exactly nothing left.
damn that hurts.
but damn do i feel better now, except for the stomach acid burning my throat.

yo.
note to the world.
i'll be gone for a couple months.
but im guessing anyone who reads this already knew this.
see yall in the summer!

i guess this is where freecell comes in.......

the shitty thing about staying up til late morning everyday is that when there is exactly nothing to do,
there is no way in hell you can just fall asleep.
...you have to wait out the boredom.

im a little relieved.
i got some shit done today.
one thing being that i applied for UW.
lets see how well they like me....

an attempt to sleep.
this will be an early one.
although yesterday i passed out around 4 only to be wake up wide awake at 730.
i did my usual ass sitting while everyone else was asleep.
talked to air on a 930 coffee break,
and stayed up til about noon.
then i got some real sleep.
i keep pushing it back further and further.
i guess that could be a good thing though.
2 hrs later and it would be like going to bed at 10pm england time.
w00t.

jesus christ.
i didnt read my sisters blog for seemingly months.
and now that i have again, its pretty much the same shit:
90% tv reviews.
tv, bleh.

i dont know if i was ever so thrilled about being vegan, but, what it did do for me is give a respect for different foods out there.
what eventually drew me away from it was the social aspect.
..going to places where it was too hard to find meatless foods.
but, 10 yrs later vegetarians get a break, and people are more apt to comply to their needs.
whiny bitches. =D

heh.
hat de bra.
so im excited yet scared about leaving here.
i feel like i should have given myself more time to tie loose ends before i left.
but then i realize, i had all this time, no job, and now no school...
i just didnt manage my time well.
sleeping at odd hours, and then when awake friends are over to distract you from what needs to be done.
i think tomorrow im going to do something about it, but. of course, i sed that on sunday night for monday morning.
the only thing i succeded in doing was find out that my paychecks are headed to portland =P

so. i know i'll have the experience of a lifetime, but i think i'll enjoy homecoming.
i miss being away, but i've always liked to travel but. i guess you cant have one without the other.

keith told me about a scuba class that hes interested in.
its rescue, but nonetheless fuckin SCUBA. underwater has always been the coolest place, being surrounded,
and to be able to breathe in it! bring on the self contained underwater breathing apparatus.
crazy what stupid trivia you can spout after years of not using it.
damn. two dreams. pyramids and scuba.... all in one year!
im too young to enjoy this.
or maybe thats the best part about it....

hm. i dont know what to say.
people just seem to be set in their ways.
bleh. i cant focus.
sometimes late night and early morning are a blessing.
peaceful, serene.
other times, it breeds depression.
maybe it just depends on what youre pondering about when you have this time.
hm. ive got more, but i cant form the words.
i think im too preoccupied about getting shit done before i ship out.

so. ever filled out an application?
i dont think i have EVER filled one out thats straight-forward.
its like those online quizes. it tells you to pick one of the 4 or 5 that best fits you,
but none really do. so you just sit there contemplating what you should actually put.
and when it doesnt allow you to continue, even though you have the right information down.
well. that just kinda blows.

having longer hair and being able to run your fingers through it is a cool feeling.
i wonder why.
maybe its just something to play with....

i should really try to sleep, but im in that funk again.
i dont want to move.

anyone know how to fix archives?

everyones trippin about work lately.
hmph.
well. i got shit to worry about too.
i gotta get my shit together for UW.
yeh.. finally... in fall.
unemployments a bitch.
still dealing with figuring that out.
i gotta figure out what a 2 & a half month trip requires, packing-wise,
and whats the most weight efficient way to go about it.
other petty shit too. bills, stuff left behind.
damn. i got less than a week.
this is stressful.
but luckily, when it all gets into gear, it'll be the coolest thing ever.
also.
i looked up my grades today.
2 3.6's and a 3.9
i guess i pulled that off fair enough.
hmph.
i wish all i had left to do was pack.

heh.
i guess the cool thing about not being able to sleep til early morning is that you can conduct business with people who live in a normal time schedule before you go to sleep!
although im kinda pissy.
fred sent my last paychecks to portland so portland could send them to me.
i missed picking them up by a day.
always.
fred is out to jew me.
i know this, and i keep goin back for more =P

OH! when i stopped by last night, i herd that another high up boss got fired for doing something illegal.
he rang up an order on somebody elses signed on #.
i didnt know that was so bad.
its probably not. but we's got a recession here people!
fire dem asses.

i dont get it.
wouldnt people get really pissed if they did this to monkeys?

sometimes i just want to sit here and wait for my headache to go away before i try to sleep.
precious sleep.
youre too good to be bothered with shit like headaches....
too good to me...
i bet it was those damn lucky charms.

theres that game.. that people play.
and the object seems to change every few years.
its quite odd.

piss on me.
everyones alienated themselves.

i come into my room after watching the first whole season of sex and the city to see this:
AbsoluteNut77 (12:14:14 AM): hey dude, do you wanna come down to california in december for my wedding?
my old roommate from westmont is getting married.
the weird thing: hes not even a jesus freak. i dont know why he wants to get married so early.
i guess it might be resulting from his parents actions. they both got married at 19, i believe.
oh. goddamn. theyre both body builders. you should see em. and his dad shaves his arms and shit.
he seems like a really laid back guy, but i still wouldnt joke about it with him.
nah. he just seems like an old skater.
anyway.
i wonder if i'll go to this thing.
it'll be really weird.
i havent seen him in like 2 yrs.
hes been off in the marines.
over in hawaii then okinawa.
now ready to get married in half a year.
geez.

damn. i think i did pretty well in school this quarter.
of course this time around i liked all my classes and it wasnt shit like o chem.
labs can bite my ass.

po and i had lunch at taco time on 45th.
while there a guy i used to work with walked by.
i called him in and we chatted.
apparently word of my firing had gotten around,
although no one knew who actually was fired.
im guessing cuz only a few people that i didnt immediately work with know who i am.
so he sed he had a small chuckle when he herd about it... whoever it was.
i would too.

that shits still gay. i say that they should get their asses kicked for leaving their registered unsecured so i could do that.
its their bad first, then mine.
bitches.

OPM - Heaven is a Halfpipe
anyway.
shots dont hurt as much as i remembered them to.
but the aftermath is hell.
mouth dry, a little loopy,
but i made it home fine.
and each arm hurts like a bitch.
i think its only the tetanus and hep A.
the other two aint got nuthin on me.

kato:
Dude Trav, all the days of the week hail from Norse Gods, they all get em. Not really sure why that is, I mean, why norse gods? But hey, other gods get planets, you decide which is more... uh... fuck... what's that words that starts with a "p" (i think) having to do with status... brain fart, doh!

sam:
Thor is a norse god.
The greek name for Jupiter is Zeus
the connection is that all of them can throw lightning.
solving the mystery of why every fucking european language associates thursday with lightning? Priceless.
There are some things anthropology can't solve. For everything else there's etymological categorization.

yeh. so maybe all the days of the week in ENGLISH are named after norse gods.
but did you not see the days of the week in spanish?
theres no way. they be from greek/roman gods.
my trying to relate the two was where i got fucked up...

ahHA!
that test was easy.
outta there in a half hr.
one more tomorrow.
what to do now?
try sleeping again?
theres nothing better to do.
no ones here. nothing to do.
blah blah blah.
and ive been blogging hella because of it too.

oh. i thought of this song i wanted last night. er. this morning.
and the other two times i posted about it, people knew.
but im not so sure about this one.

i think its called 'heaven on a half pipe', but im not sure.
i think its about 3 yrs old...
goes a little like this:

if i die before i wake,
at least in heaven i can skate.
but right now on earth i cant do jack,
without the man up on my back.

ehh?!??

i feel really awake and ready.
i wonder when i'll crash.
probably on the way to get my immunizations =P

maybe an hr of sleep?
we'll see.
i was looking at those pin spinning sites on manuels fresh fruit,
but i cant download the videos for some reason.
i want to know which is the one i do =P

right now i dont really know what my sleeping pattern is anymore.
i just kinda clock in every now and then and get some.
but what i do know now is that i have a final in about 2 and a half hrs
and i wish i could be sleeping right now, but i think i've gotten enough as it is for today/yesterday/whatthehellever.

so when i go to england, i could be on russian time... for all i know.
people keep asking me if im prepping before i go there.
well. i aint.
i dont know really how i got so fucked up.
some of it might have to do with talking to a person thats on a different time schedule,
but thats not the main cause.

dammit.
i wish i could sleep.
i guess i could study, but i never really study right before tests.
....force myself to sleep?
not like i havent been trying that for the last 3 hrs....

i had a long drive over to my parents.
about an hr, as opposed to the usual 20 mins.
in doing so i had a long time to think about how fucked up my sleeping pattern really is.
over the past week, i think that i have been awake for every hour of a day
except for between 8 am to 8:30 am
and i've been asleep for every hour of a day except for between roughly 1:30 am to 2 am.

good god.
no wonder i'm sick.

im too retarded to figure out my archives =(
ima whiny bitch =P

heh.
wouldnt satan be the coolest if he tricked everyone into thinking he was god?
wasnt that in devils advovate? or end of days.
or something?

im in mid-read of wanks fatty march 6th post.
heaven and hell.
gotta agree with the guy on the first part.
its all this poetic shit that wrenches at feelings.
at first the bible is all about fear. god will kick you down, let you burn in hell if you defy him.
that was old testes style. now in the new, wars are subsiding, people have their land, so its all about peace and love toward your neighbor.
so it teaches all that, and then at the end BOOOOOOM!!!! fire and brimstone!!!
watch out mother fuckers cuz if you dont do this nice shit then you'll be tossed into the eternal lake of fire and burn with all the other heretics!!!

but. as for the second part.
hell being underground? ive never heard that.
and ive had extensive training.
for one. each time he appears, its just that. an appearance... as far as anyone can tell.
and i know the bible is full of parables, but if you look at two other stories, you got:
the rich fat fuck that wouldnt give up some of his wealth for a dying old geezer.
both eat shit and die, and the fat fuck can look at how good the skinny man has it, from his cozy spot in HELL.
also.
job. as in the dude. not the work.
god talks to lucifer pretty much like hes right there next to him.
ok. so you say. semantics. bleh.
and i agree.
cuz when you take a look through the whole bible, you find some dissimilarities.
spots where people fuck up and counteract something else sed in the bible.
im trying to think of some, but i'm at a loss right now.
but i used to listen to sermons back in the day and find a few.
that shits all up in there (my head), but it just has to be kindled to be accessed, ya know?

like yesterday in anthro.
teacher man was talkin about spear-chucking devices,
and outta no where i blurt atlatl.
yup.
thats their name.
it was really weird. cuz i wasnt even really thinking about it.
it just triggered something.
im sure you've all done that.

uh. looking at wanks shit.
cuz he writes a lot.
he mentions trips blogverssary.
i think mines in early or mid april.
i'll be gone.
those days were all about bitching and whining about how hurt i was.
that was a LONG year ago.
back in our old house.

thank you kato.
but you see.
blogging was easier before a gf.
now i have to explain EVERYthing.
and some things are merely concepts that arent completely thought out.
its rough ;)

pertaining to manuels blog about 'could'.
in spanish, most know its 'poder' or in present tense, 'puede'.
school books define it as 'to be able', just as could is.
or 'can' just as it is in english present tense.
but as a noun, poder is power.

linguistics are cool.

heh. theres no english equivalent for a noun.
unless you take 'can'.....

there aint shit to do right now.
maybe i should try to sleep... again.

ok.
so with my paper,
i turned a piece of shit
into a piece of crap.

anyone got a stapler?

hmm.
thinking about it.
dan is the only one in this house to have both a job and school.
g(ay)reat.

im putting in a lot of quotes from "Rip van winkle" into my paper only to find that grammar check doesnt like irving's use of commas.
i tend to generally overuse commas and i like how this dude uses em.
so fuck grammar check, in its stupid ass.

wank is right.
rum and coke is in.

wait. isnt it time for bed?
shit.
i tried, but it didnt work out so well.
ok.
lets try again.
its not want but necessity now.

i was just thinking...
over my 9 months at ballard,
i can remember two illegal things they had me do.
1) crossing-over. they made me cover somebody's shift from over in the home department.
now. these are two different unions under the same roof.
i wonder if this is a terminateable offense?
i'd assume at least a suspension.

2) my boss asked me to take somebodys paycheck to them.
i think thats pretty much a big no-no anywhere you can think of.
i dont know what the punishment on that shit is.

yeh.. so im still bitter =P
you should see my background.

even though tripat is never seen, hes still in our hearts.
or at least spying in our homes.

we just finished up rat race over here.
and i was also admiring cubas dancing.
thats some breakdancin shit if i ever dun seen any.
if i was just a bit older in the 80s, i woulda been all over that shit.
i kinda got introduced to it by josh,
but i didnt realize that i could sort of mimic the moves until i got drunk.
and that was post-westmont.
so sorry.

oh well.
it'll just be one of those things that you get excited about but never get around to cuz of its... displacement from you.
i.e. scuba diving.

i played a rousing round of foosball tonight.
its been a while.
i remember back when it was like second nature.
i miss that feeling.
luckily i think po is as excited about learning it as he was for snowboarding.
AND LOOK AT HIM NOW!!

i think i live too much in the past.
i'd like to hang out with tripat, that other house, and everyone else like back in the day when we'd throw parties at our place in kirkland across from mormania.
but. issues arise people are incompatible. shit goes down. feelings go sour.
people are content with no contact at all.

meh. not like i was ever any coordinator though.
im just a follower. so i cant dictate what goes down.

k. thanks to trip for another idea to lead to no where.
peace yall.
goodnight.
or morning.
or. whatever the fuck.
i dont care.

hm.
so they make fucking school, and more specifically english 101 & 102,
so your shit dont look like this.

look at the evolution of my rantings....

if you share the past, it definately comes back to get you.
keep it to yourself.

everyone else has learned this.
its life lesson #2

i wont tell what life lesson #1 is,
cuz i learned that in the past.

i always considered being open as a sign of trust.
but. people get offended by the truth.
i guess thats the whole idea behind the 'white lie'.

sometimes. i wish that the meaning behind what i have sed is taken rather than the idea.
example:
(im not bashing the dude, but this is just how it is)
i was telling air about how this chic was telling a .... wait.
i cant tell this story. people might get upset.
shit.
well. i wish i could share the story, but the happenings override my ability to share.
my bad.
i really wish i could.
maybe i can conseal it. lemme think for a bit.

no. sorry, cant. the main ideas would give it away too easily.

this blog used to be my friend.
people i knew and dont know could read it.
no harm.
no one would bother to question except mainly via their own blog.
perfectly fine.

now. my flow of thoughts are impeded.
i have to be careful of what i say.
people take things wrong, get offended, other various not happy feelings.

sometimes i wish i would just have a personal journal.
i guess i could just do that here and never post anywhere.

cuz. sometimes its not even feelings/emotions that i'll get called out for,
but outlandish ideas, i.e. black people and their swimming capabilities.
although.... its rightly justified.
but. sometimes i think that outlandish ideas if properly supported can prove to be true.
....or at least, not false.
how else do you make progress? trying different ideas....
most often, insight comes to the altered mind.
think about it.
artist/writers/scientists: eccentric/crazy/druggies...
oh. and theres those smart fuckers too.
cant leave them out.

i got off base, but. thats just the flow of things.
usually, unless provoked, i keep my ideas to myself.
i wait until i feel comfortable enough to expell these crazy thoughts.

but. how do other people learn? how do they better themselves?
through learning. well. why dont i share?
im an un-alrtuistic bastard.

oh wait. what am i doing now?
meh. not like anyone but a select handful are reading this.
and by now its just skimming.

its all about the learning.
and exploiting those newly developed skills/ideas.
bleh.
way off now.

i think i... share more when im hurt.
cuz really... pain is a much more... prominent sensation than happiness.

bliss is best left alone how it is.
unknown of the shit going on around it.
ignorant with blank, lifeless stare.

but no.
to feel real emotion. one will look to pain.
its so sharp and alusive toward death.

bleh. im not going to explain myself there.
more of that outlandish shit....

right now. i want school to be over. i want to have the ability to make things better.
when things are important, i know what i want.
otherwise. i go with the flow.
i know that'll be taken wrongly. but.
fuck it. what can i do?

its 5:33 in the morning, and im not tired.
its my own fault. i slept til 7:30
pm.

i need something to get me out of this.
i think i have just the thing.
but. its not my willingness that decides it.
is it bad to need something?
co-use.

theres no getting past the past.
....unless you leave it there.



its the smartest thing to do.

if things were simple,
i'd be happy.

ok. looked that shit up. wednesday came from some norse word.
bloop.

pssst...
(NOBODY CARES!!!)

ya know, this may have been blatantly obvious to everyone else, but i just realize, while studying spanish that the days of the week were named after the planets/heavenly bodies in our solar system..
its a lot easier to see it when you look at the spanish name.

monday/lunes - luna = moon

tuesday/martes - marte = mars (twin to earth?)

wednesday/miercoles - mercurio = mercury (hermes was the greek name...?)

thursday/jueves - júpiter = jupiter (i wonder if thur- has anything to do with thor, the greek name for roman jupiter)

friday/viernes - venus = venus

saturday/sábado - saturno = saturn

sunday/domnigo - sol = sun (ok. maybe that one is easier in english. i have no idea what domingo pertains to. maybe some gay saint.)

shit i learned from my paper:
the NY knicks were named after washington irvings pseudonym (or whatever its called, pen name)
diedrich knickerbocker.
whatta faggish name.
geez.

other than the homonym, (my own retarded joke)
i kinda like what i read about the dude.
he dun traveled all over europe and such.
smart insightful dude.
ok. so i sound like i learned nothing about him.
but i assure you.
i did.

calen, i was going to kill you, but this aint that bad.
although more and better research wouldnt have hurt.

but yes. last night was a good time, so thank you.

it was so weird.
the host of the party, claus.
i recognized the face. couldnt place it, as is the fate with some people at random parties.
until! this chic he was with mentions shanker.
i only know one shanker. would anyone else know another?
nope.
senor srinivasan is still somewhere around the u-district being as bum-like as possible.
i left him a message, but being the lazy fucker that he is, i doubt i'll get a call back.
not like i'll have much time to hang out with him anyway.

oh yes, and as for claus, i remembered him immediately afterward.
freshman year over winter break i visited shanker, and we went to pagliaccis on the ave.
that dude claus was one of the guys that went with us.
crazy how you can remember even the most insignificant shit that was about 4 yrs ago when duely prompted.

oh. i bet my shits done printing.
i'll go get it and hop my ass in bed.
im due for a shaving sometime soon.

work used to dictate that habit, but uh....
yeh. work?
fuckers.

i havent looked at blog shit in a while.
i wonder if anythings new...
forums?
meh, later =P

done at 3:33
i dont care what blogger sez.

my best medium, is actually paper.
but why is it so painful to get it on there?
i dont know. i have no answers.

ok. ok.
goodnight.

oh yeh.
so also.
apparently westmont was, at least academically a waste of time.
with out that year, i have 92 of a needed 90 credits.
the only thing i am using for it when the transcript arrives is an english lit =P


ever herd of that song by soul coughing?
walk around in circles?

and also hooch by everything?
those songs always take me back to that time.
weird connection.

i know that the olfactory perceiving part of the brain is right next to the memory area,
therefore and immediate recollection of someone/thing from a distinct smell.
but songs/music?



also.
ive been bothering a lot of people today.
i must have too much time on my hands.
my bad. tomorrow i'll be hella busy, unless theres griploads of snow....

ok. maybe history could not be considered humanities, but philosophy?!?!
thats the only fucking reason i took that class =P

BCC can suck my nuts.
if they hadnt told me that TWO of the classes that i was about to take were not considered humanities by UW, then i might have taken something that was =P
luckily, i only have to make up for one of them to graduate, but i still need a stooidaz multicultural class to graduate.
luckily, i can take a boring class that takes care of both.
so. over the summer i'll take it, and by fall, i'll be in UW.
at least thats the plan.....

a day late,
a buck short,
im writing... the report.
....
well i guess this is growing up.

work used to dictate my shaving and eating patterns.

not so much no more... >=P

wow.
three of the four resorces for my paper that i BSed about having in class that i jacked from some paper online, i unknowingly got a day later when i was at Allen.
crazy shit.

thank you, manuel.
MY thoughts exactly....

what lazy days.
now i know how all you monday-fridayers do it.
you have all the time in the world on the weekends!
although for today i have so far only opted to waste it all away.
that will hopefully change soon.
damn. theres so much time to do whatever you want!
im used to everyday having some sort of demand on me.
what a change....
I GET A BREAK!!!

wank wants to know why i got fired?!
here goes.....

i got a sandwich from the deli.
i was running late, no one was anywhere near the deli register,
so i rang myself up.
debited that shit.
ate it as quick as i could (since it was almost 4:30 and i hadnt eaten that day)
and clocked in.
5 mins later the security guy comes and gets me and takes me to the back room.
he saw me ring myself up.

they have you sign something when you start working saying that you cant do that.
so.


im out of a job...

there ya go.

still bitter but:

email from dad:

Are you joining the Airforce? The rumor in scouts is that you are! It is
very reliable....
Your joining in June????

me:

what?
why is this rumor there?
i bet you had something to do with it =P

dad:

Mr. Cobb is spreading the rumor; not me for once.
I heard about it from Kelley; who heard from someone.


fuckin rumors. i havent seen Mr. Cobb since i shadowed him at his work in physical therapy for high school human physiology!

i think wanks wrong.
the same four that always post,
have been with roughly their same frequency.
wank: shitloads then small breaks
the swell: near daily, maybe up to a couple posts
trip: once and a while, but enough to make an impact
myself: possibly once a day, with maybe an occasional spurt or drought.

i went to go get my second to last pay check today.
im thinking i should have waited til i could have collected them both.
i think being there, finally let it hit me.
i went over to the desk.
asked for my paycheck.
retired my 700 and 600 club certificates that were on the walls.
they happened to be in the middle of others, so now theres a void where i used to be.
up until then i was polite, nice to the two bosses there.
but. she gave me my check and it had an additional paper stuck to it. telling probably of a PACE meeting they were going to have.
i got the check, ripped off that paper and just kinda threw it back on their desk.
i couldnt help it.
i hated those fucking flyers anyway. they never had anything good on them.

so. as for the people who were there when i went, there was only one there that influenced me enough for me to say goodbye to.
shes a black mid-thirtys mom. we're always teasing each other about who gets to go home earlier.
right before i got that fucking sandwich, she was at the coffee stand telling me how she was just getting off.
so. i told her i was fired.
and she didnt quite believe me at first. (who would)
but then she got a face that looked like she might cry, or just miss me a lot.
she told me that if i needed extra money that in the end of march she has some work she needs done with the house.
so she gave me her #. i might look into it.

so. then i went back to the back room to look for my head boss.
he was out for the day.
i wanted to look at that waiver i had signed to see if the clause that i had broken would only matter if i was on the clock.
i doubt it would, but i just wanted to convince myself.
so. he wasnt there.

i want excuses.
i want for that paper to say "...while on the clock"
i want those fuckers who left their checkstand illegally unattended while unsecured to get reprimanded for letting this happen.
i want ...to have a job. that job.

it finally hits me.
as im leaving.
im in that state of..... not caring.
what does it matter...
thank god it didnt hit til the weekend.
i have a few days to recover.
i never really knew before why some people would want to drink themselves into oblivion.
i also associated drinking with good times.
but. it is an escape.
you lose focus.

so. my bad if im extremely bitter after this.
i know ive already been somewhat of a bitch.
good god.
only a month til i leave.
why dont i have any alcohol!?

I don't get along with college, though. It's a rocky relationship that has been coasting on empty passion for a long time. It's a bullshit relationship. We're both using each other. Neither wants us around anymore. We're both in it for the money.
-manuel

what a cool metaphor!
although.
if you want to live in a dumpster,
why are you in school for the money?

people always tell you that you should do what you wanted to do when you were like 8, or somewhere around there.
(in your case dumpster living might fit the bill)
so i think about it.
and i dig rocks, and the ocean, and fossils, and shit like that.
but then.
you do think about the money.
and its kinda hard to think of how you can take that love and support yourself by doing what you want to do with your life.
i guess it shouldnt matter.
therefore, maybe i'll give it a try.
money. >=P

i have a anthro quiz tomorrow.
i actually decided that i probably need to study for this one.
in it, there was actually a little topic on altruism.
the authors idea was much like mine:
altruism in his(?) opinion is that it is only expressed and confined to doing selfless acts for ones offspring or close relatives.
so. in effect, its that selfish intent anyway?
the idea of insuring the passing on of ones genes...
their reproductive success?

i meant to blog about that before....
even before reading that, cuz i came to the same conclusion.
....the whole thing seems like a kind of game.....
so. who doesnt want to win?
you have to only think of yourself (and manipulation of resorces and environment) to win.....

its kind of unsettling to think that a few seconds worth of actions can bring about such a dramatic effect.
i want to bring up excuses, but really,
i accept what i did.
a retarded technicality, yes,
just something to remind you that you cant always do what you think works out the best.
even if it effects no one.
shat.
wheres my loophole!