i think i'll get used to school, but i dont think i'll actually get used to the walk that will incessantly make me late.
a balls out walk and i'm still left standing in the corner looking for the last seat.
balls.

in other news,
i dont know whats going on with the rest of my life.

i dont have one person to tell everything to anymore.
so maybe i'll just use this guy again.

ive been hanging out with a gay crowd lately.
they joke about the same shit as an hetero guy would, but its just not the same.
cuz they'll also comment on cute guys, and they actually give the blowjobs.
its a little eeirie, but im starting to get used to it.
theyre good guys.

but if theres anything i'm learning from them, is that it seems that even if youre as flaming as they come,
you still seem to like the human body.
but its hella annoying, cuz they can easily get away with fondling some part of a girls body.
if anybody straight tried that shit, i dont know what the reprocussions would be.
i think i heard all of them admit that they do enjoy boobs.
but they've all had boyfriends, so, yeah....

the other thing that i think i'm learning from this is how to better tune my gaydar.
its amazing how the numbers are fluctuating.

im going to see these guys less and less now as school starts though, but for that last week, it really seemed like summer.

what i dont get is why people will tell you what they were always interested in, but yet they wont really do anything about it to obtain that wanted career.
last night i heard both marine archaeologist and a private investigator.
i guess school just doesnt seem that appealing or affordable to most people.
bummer.

yesterday was the first time i've ever heard anyone defend their homosexuality.
oh no, i'm 100% flaming!

i dont know what else to write.
theres kinda this... void.

other people have the nickname BP

where to start.
dunno.
i was thinking yesterday about how suck it will be to get old.
reverting to the ineptness of young childhood.
needing children to look after you, tell you where to go, what to do, etc.
not being able to even order your own food w/o fucking up.
having to go back when you figure out that you've only ordered for one of the two of you.
when is someone going to figure out how to keep that sluff DNA so getting older won't suck as hard?
its kinda funny how that determines aging.
turtles rule at keeping theirs, at look at them!

anyway.
yesterday i also saw my big boss do something that is immediately terminatable, or whatever its called.
see, she was cashiering cuz saturday was just retarded busy, all 14 checkstands blazing.
but anyway.
i was watching her, and her customer had some celery sticks.
now, see, regular celery comes in this little plastic bag that covers the bottom of the celery. its got a blue band,
hence the name blue-banded celery.
now everybody knows the code for that celery: 4070,
just like everyone knows bananas: 4011.
but not many know the celery STICK code.
my boss being one of them.
she knows the difference between the blue band and the stick, but she only knows the one code.
the prices are different, she also knows this.
but instead of looking like she doesnt know her shit, she just sticks the celery into the bag after a while so anybody not closely watching wouldnt realize that she didnt actually ring it up.
now, on our list of like 10 things on a sheet that we sign that tell us what we can be immediately terminated for, not ringing up or altering the price of an item without proper approval,
is one of them.
but who gives a fuck.
if we lost this boss, the store would go further down the shithole.

i think what they do is only fire the people they got beef with.

like the black dude that didnt sign his credit record.
one time missed.
GONE. fired.
now im pretty much doing what he was, but getting paid less.
but just on the 4th, this other dude, ernie, who's been there a while didnt sign his credit record.
what happens?
a warning: next time, you'll get fired.

what a buncha bullshit.
i guess sometimes they just like to make examples.
i know i've been one.

getting suspended for not showing up for work the day after christmas,
while my buddy didnt show up the day before xmas and nothing happened to him.
maybe they just got tired of it.

hmph.

i could walk around naked upstairs and the only people who would probably care would be the neighbors.
fuck them.

megs at work and i'm at home with nothing to do.
...how things can change so quickly...

so tired.
luckily i get to sleep in tomorrow.

i watched the begginning of "conspiracy theory" the other day.
i was kinda getting into it but then i left it, i forgot why.
but the thing that pissed me off was that mel is all about digging deeper,
knowing the real reason shit happens,
THen, hes just a firm believer in the idea of love.
maybe i'm not explaining it so well,
but i really think that these two ways of thinking just cant coexist.
mel, they only threw that part in there so you would win the crowd over in that role.
make you the fucking protagonist and the guy in the backseat an ass.
fuck you. it wouldnt work that way.

had a good talk with the boys the last couple of nights too.....

i wonder whats going to happen in the next few days...

the realization that school starts in two weeks sux.
dont get me wrong, i welcome it, its just that i now have to figure out how to get down there everyday,
as well as figuring out how to not be late everyday with my 15 min walk dealing with a 10 min break between classes.
shit.

that, and i never cared before if it rained.

my only food in the house is ice cream and salsa.
needless to say i went for the ben & jerrys.

i'm trying to get things in perspective.
sometimes you have to make yourself deal with something that's uncomfortable.
cuz its better in the end.
damn looking to the future.
i know some people are incapable of it.

i still dont know what i'm doing though.

i wish i wasnt in school cuz then i could be a PIC and work would be cooler,
but then when i get into school and hopefully into a better job, i will know why i didnt get the easier job at first.

i pissed way too much to not be sober.
work in 6 hrs.
ima dumbfuck.
no need to remind me.
damn i wish i had a weekend now and then.
i have to make my own, then i have to pay for them.
piss.

damn.
within 5 mins i fucked with two people.
the first was a guy, who i think has somehow got a crush on me (wouldnt be the first time =P )
but anyway, he wanted me to go down to pioneer square with him, another gay dude, and two chix.
but. my thoughts would be that alcohol with that crush would just end in badness.
so i dont actually remember whether or not i actually told him i would go,
BUT i offered this other chic a ride home.
so i ended up using that to get out of dancing with the gay dude.
but on the ride home, this chic was getting personal, asking why a guy like me wasnt with anyone
while everyone else was.
....well, actually...
i tell her, and then she gets all embarrassed about not knowing and runs out of the car.
shit. my bad.
i dont even know if i was leading either of the two on.
but jesus christ, when did i have to start dealing with turning guys down?!!?
let alone chix.
goddamn.
i feel bad for both.

the person working u-scan last night had her stepmom die.
so i had to cover that for a bit.
never been trained, but i think i'm pretty good now.
i keep having to cover it in emergencies... no help
so i think i'm fairly decent on it now.
its not that hard, you just have to get used to knowing which part of the screen goes to which robot.
im self taught.
eat it, bitches.

yesterday i was store bitch.
when i wasnt cashiering, i was helping loss prevention (security).
when i wasnt doing that, i was PICing (being the boss).
when i wasnt doing that, i was straight demoted and pushing carts.
all in a days work at freds.

better than full time in loss prevention though, i hear.
seems the lady that they caught pissed her pants when caught.
this was some white trash material.
her braless ass/tits kept falling out of her dirty tanktop,
and the security dude kept having to ask her to please "put it away".
she tried to jack $189 worth of shit.
DVDs, pop, misc. food items.
but get this. shes got a friend (who also didnt believe in a bra =P )
they tell me to have her get the lady's license.
well, it seems that the lady's DEAF brother just drove off to get the lady's husband.
so i'm supposed to watch the door and look for a tall deaf guy.
well. eventually i see some tall white trash, i approach him and he definately sounds like a deaf guy.
heres the fun part. trying to get her license. he dont get it. i even whip out my own.
no help.
so i say jim, the lady's husband.
he gets that, and takes me inside, but he doesnt really know where hes going.
we finally find him behind a display of videos.
i approach him.
he tells me he has no idea whats going on.
well, he was in luck. i didnt either.
i think they eventually let her go.
piss-soaked and all.

later that night i was sent out to get a license plate on some dude that wrote a bad check.
he started booking to his truck and told his wife to do the same.
he gets in, starts up and squeels off even before his wife could close the door.
unfortunately, he didnt have a light on the plates, and he had a trailor hitch for his pussy ass toyota pickup,
so i couldnt get two of the numbers.
doh well.
cant win em all.

at least you can always catch the fat/nasty bitches.

today was psycho.
all sorts of shit went down.
a lot of it during the hour that i was the boss.
tugged here and there, but it was all made up for later when i just got to stand around and talk for about the last hour while i was there.
i guess they actually busted somebody big today. big enough to be a felony or something.
i saw them lead the chic into the back room, handcuffed and with a shitload of kitchen appliances.
another lady was caught trying to use the ID and check of some poor lady she had stolen the purse of.
too bad she didnt look as hot as the chic on the photo ID.

today in deli i was hero for a day.
all the managers were over there trying to fix the register till.
they had it out (the drawer), all the way out, but they couldnt get it back in.
they called me over.
i looked in it, pushed a bronze looking button, shoved the drawer back in, and viola,
fixed.
they were in awe.
but, of course, it was dumb luck and they dont have to know that.

anyway.
its off to bed soon with this fatty headache.
i think its from my fucked up sleep schedule, which is, works fault.
getting up early for the weekend then sleeping in to catch up sunday night/ monday morning.
doesnt agree with me.
day 6 of 8 in a row tomorrow.
kinda almost over.
im gettting in more social time at work so im not minding it too much anymore.

ALTHOUGH!
during the hour that i am the boss, im only this puppet boss,
if peoples tills are getting too full, i can only take the money, but i cant get on the computer to tell it that i dropped the money in the safe,
so eventually the people's till could freeze up.
also, i have a key for overrides, but no override #, therefore making it very hard to please the masses.
luckily a chic at the service desk has a #, but no key.
we work well together.

yeah. enough about work.
my old spanish lady's son googled my ass and found that i have this site.
he says that this goes against everything he believes in.
a waste of bandwidth.
i'll give him that.
but it helps me out some.

i hate how hard work and dependability can reslut in getting raped for your time. you become their bitch just because youre good and very able at what theyre asking you to do.
yesterday i was slow, purposely slow.
i wonder if they noticed.

i doubt i'll see air for the next 4 days.

yeah.
7:30 will come early.
no doubt.
im finding time to do shit even when having to work almost every damn day.
good or bad?
whatever.
worked to death.
singled out.

and btw, overtime just melds into sunday pay.
so theoretically they could work you 48 hrs a week and you would see nothing for your efforts.
(that is, if you worked 8 hrs on sunday.)
fuck them.
i might call the union.
especially now that i'm doing PIC (manager) work, but will probably only receive my usual pay.
fuckers.

computer's back!
xp'd and all,
but i think i fucked up in the process, go figure.

i thought i would help myself out by telling my boss that i didnt start school yet,
cuz i thought she was making me close seeing as how those were my school hrs.
but, i guess that wasnt the case.
what she got out of it was: rape me.
so she obliged.

i tell ya, everything is a complete circle.
3 years ago i would close every damn night except for the weekends when i would open.
guess what i'm doing now...
closing then opening is a bitch.
always will be...

seeing places you've been in movies kinda takes the magicalness out of it.
last night XXX which was highly unbelievable yet still highly entertaining, found themselves both at the infamous bridge in prague over the vlata river,
and by the conclusion out in bora bora hanging out in the bungalows.
its just weird.

found an indian head nickel the other day.
cant tell the year, but i think its from the 20's
theres a faint 2.
as to whether its the 18 or 1920's, i'll have to put my money on the 19's.
i'll have to look it up.

leaving for work in about a half hr.
wo0t.
shit i can look forward to nearly everyday when school starts up again.
wish i didnt have to work so much.
wish they didnt work me so much.

i dont know what to write about.
lately being too open hasnt sat well with me.
but at least i got something goin for me.
2 DAYS OFF WORK!
...in a row ;)
definately not looking forward to friday/saturday though,
when its back to the old "raping cuz we can" routine.
closing then opening... always a pleasure.

finally.
two days off in a week.
its been like 3 since i've been able to have this pleasure.
but, of course, it has to be at the stupidest time.
right after labor day weekend.
so, of course, theres nothing to do.
oh well.
i'll enjoy my time doing nothing nonetheless.

computer's down.
been hella busy with work anyway.
i think i get two days off this week!
go me!
i wont know what to do with myself.