the thing i refuse to learn about life is that you must lie to get ahead in it

people at work are taking this harder than i am.
and people i knew since before i started working there...
well.. its almost as if they were expecting it.
last time it came as a shock. this time around...
its more comical than anything.

so life is trying to tell me that i have nothing at all going for me,
except for the fact that i dont have a grossly obese mother at home waiting for my weekly paycheck that i wont be recieving anymore.

who the hell is going to hire me after being fired from the same corporation on more than one occasion.
i guess stepping back into that line of work was just another (the other) foot in the grave.

thanks to everyone who cared, but somebody has to be made an example of.
everyone signed their credit record after dave was fired,
now everyone will be frugal with their whole 10% of an employee discount.

and the moral of the story is:
if you work at fred meyer,
dont ever shop there.
or else you'll get your ass fired.
...again.

on oct 23rd, ryan took some crazy pills.
thats the most fuckerd thing i've read, well, ever.
now i know i need to be a leprachaun for halloween next year.

new topic!
school agAin.
im new to this whole real university thing.
so your teachers go over the basics in the first few weeks,
but then after all that crap is covered, they bust out with the shit that they did for their dissertation.
um. ukranian bores me, i have little to no interest in anything that is east of lithuania and north of greece.
we'll just call this ...asia.
no interest, my bad.
and things were going so well.
thats linguistics.
as for archaeology.
he does alaska.
not too interested there either. i guess cuz im not doing it.
manuel and diana just booted by.
my train of thought is long gone.
not like it was anything important anyway.

its time to play catch up.

the weeks are flying by.
and im totally not using my time wisely.
my computer is out, and although that is a semi-valid excuse for me not getting anything done,
its not really.
id use it for other shit that aint schoolwork, but when i would actually want to do schoolwork, i wouldnt have to fanagle it around other peoples schedules.
then theres dan.
used his shit for a while, never when he was home, but maybe i forgot to logoff or something, so now my password is no longer valid.
wo0t! or something.
air offered up his shit (nightly ;) but he doesnt seem to have acrobat reader, which is what i need to read online articles.
meg'll hook me up tonight. shes cool like that.
unless we're on the brink of another confrontation, which always seem to come outta no where and when things are at their best.
who knows. women make no sense, thats why i'll never understand them.
its like they like drama. nothings ever right, but if it is, they'll find something that aint right about it.
guys: if it aint broke, let it be. why do you think we keep underwear thats almost as old as the stuff it packages?

anyway. ran into a chic at the party that i think knew angie.
and she also knows me.
but how?
through this....
...fucking weird.
didnt catch her name, or face (costume), but we were outside on the porch.
some chic to the left was being a friendly at first, but then turned bitch.
whoever this chic was, was more close to the door.
i dont think it was lisa... coulda been, whatever.

so school. it drains me.
i can hold focus in my later two that interest me for like a half hr.
but then sleep overwhelms me.
the shitty part is that im more awake in stats, which for the most part i already know.
its like 11th grade all over again.
theyre teaching stuff like area under a curve.
ok, well i learned this in calculus and how to go about it.
it made sense then, but in stats they have this z-score shit.
where you just look on a chart and it gives you an answer.
no this in no way really helps you in how to do this.
i know why they made this a req for anthro.
its math for above average retards.
at least i dont have to put much effort into it
(watch foot, it may be close to mouth)

but yeah. i thought i'd be fully interested in archaeology over any of my other classes, but it seems that linguistics is taking more of my focus recently.
maybe i should follow it up with a bit more spanish.
do they offer 203 in the winter?
i'll check into it.
i thought of minoring in spanish, but if you check that shit out.
its rape.
i dont know if i'll bother,
unless i keep at school for another 5 yrs >=P

the two people i invited from school did not show.
one was jordan. she hated me back in the day, so i cant really blame her.
the other is the chic in archaeology with me. the tall one.
i guess 2 days notice wasnt enough, thats my bad.
she did ask how it went though.

computer took another dump.
i think i'll be looking into fixing that today.
but because of it, theres been a lack of bloggage.
oh well.
you aint missing much.

the party scene:
who are you going to tend to hang out with more in this type of situation?
well, i will tell you, not roommates.
the whole idea of parties is to get more intimately acquainted (the term used loosely) with other people,
not people that you would deal with on a day to day basis throughout your current living situation.
its to enjoy conversation with people you only get to see in certain other settings, school, work, etc.
so when parties roll around i'm going to talk to people i dont know that well.
its just how it is.
that, and when drunk i have an incredibly short attention span so i jump from person to person.
my bad.

i cant sleep.
every week i seem to get behind.
well, i know why.
i play catch up during the week and i only make it so far.
then when the weekend comes its devoted mainly to work, with a bit of playtime in between.
with this playtime comes no relax time, where i could theoretically get all this reading and whatnot done.
luckily this coming week i dont work during the weekends, so hopefully i'll take advantage of at least some of the time.

po is adament about cleaning the house on the weekend, and not after work or school or whatever.
i guess lucky for me i wont be around for that, but.
you get home at say 6, 630, thats a good 6 hrs before you go to bed, (of course thats grossly conservative).
but why the hell would you rather spend a weekend, where you could do ones favorite pasttime of ass-sitting,
cleaning up after a mess that will only re-emerge in a day or two because only during cleaning do you know where the garbage or sink is?
it makes no sense to me.
because unlike some people, i would be willing to put a group effort into getting this house clean.
i just dislike having to clean up after everyone else's mess time and time again for the ineptitudes stated above.
i guess it just comes down to whatever your mother taught you.
i was always told to at least take the dishes to the sink when done.
i guess this explains my ill-will toward washing dishes yet my innate ability to find the sink.

i wonder what it would be like to live with someone with a fairly similar cycle of cleanliness as mine.
e.g. i clean when i have time and shit is dirty.
but somehow i find more time in my loaded schedule.
when was the last time i had a full day off? .....when did school start?

on a totally different topic.
the more i'm hanging out with gay men, the more it seems that "being gay" is just a front.
these boys will grope and defile girls at will (maybe i should check on the def. of defile).
and why the hell would they do this if they didnt enjoy it.
the girls pass it off as them being gay and meaning nothing.
but these guys will cuddle or coddle to the extreme.
they got more action with those chix than any straight guy there.
what if "gay" is just another mindset of getting at chix.
one that doesnt work so well in most cases, but at least gets you that touchy-feely every now and then.
i at least think that every male is somewhat bi. i cant say for chix, however. cuz we already know that chix are the hottest thing ever,
but guys can probably be easily overlooked. all hairy and shit.
maybe all chix are bi! =D
or maybe everyone is to some extent.

ok, a bit extreme, but with tensions raised, shit happens.
you want to know what people are really like?
go to U-scan and just try to let them figure things out.
some are nice about it, cuz they know they have no fucking clue and theoretically the person standing up front should.
but others are very impatient and are fucking assholes when they dont know why something isnt working.
9 times out of 10, its cuz they dont know what theyre doing.
the other time is because they're waiting for a button to be pushed on my end.
all they have to do is alert me of it, as i am probably helping one of the other 3 people with their own problem,
but some choose to just be dicks.
flat out.
it sux that customer service is inacted so people like myself need to facilitate these people no matter how verbally abusive they are.
i guess there is a limit, but general assholedness is permitted.
some cunningly give it right back, and i give them props.
but seriously.
i hate the people with the mentality that "they know they're right"
when all they have to do is continue scanning their purchases becuase i fixed their problem 2 minutes ago.
contrary to popular belief, some people are competent at their jobs.
calm down and dont yell at me when youre frustrated.
(sometimes i can take this advice, shit.)

you wonder why there arent that many nice people in this world.
and then you realize one good turn deserves a to get shit on.
thanks for cleaning up after yourselves, you fucking potheads.
...not to mention stealing my food.

with my grief and anxiety doned elsewhere,
i will now take to bed with me bitterness and hope for retribution.

more often than not i am overly content with my relationship.
others often feel, however, that the waters are constantly needing to be tested.
this redundance is often a headache.

but. i think thats just one of the ways how people differ.
reminder: relationships should probably be kept between the people invovled.

so we're, what? like two full weeks into school?
out of the scholastic context, i've been able to only talk to one person.
and this is only because we were placed into groups for a later project that we'll do.
so its this chic that i've kinda talked about.
the reason why she sticks out to me is cuz shes fuckin tall!
i dont really doubt that she plays basketball, shes always headed down to the IMA after class.
but. i cant really tell how tall she is.
i want to stand next to air and compare how much i have to look up to him compared to her.
havent had the chance yet, but i feel she'll win.
im guessing at least like 6'2", and thats with thongs on.
anyway. she looks to me like liv tyler with a tan.
hot but frickin tall.

yeah. so thats about it for my social abilities at school.
the only other person i talk to is when i run into mike pendergrass, but that doesnt really count cuz i know him from high school.
basically then, its the same old shit.
im beginning to realize though, that all i do have to do is talk, but old habits die hard.
that and, what the hell do you use as an icebreaker?
thats always been my problem.

in other news,
spent the night at megs.
didnt have any of my own shit over there, so now i smell like her.
HA!
makes me miss her when i get a whif. =P

going to sleep right after work: virtually impossible
doing homework right after work: socially unacceptable
playing spider solitare all night: fucking stupid
getting in those few hours of sleep before waking up for class: priceless



suck my nuts, school

riding on the bus to school.
the fuckers packed.
now and then people have to actually walk from U village all the way up that damn hill cuz there just aint no room for their fatasses.
so we get to the top, and what does somebody HAVE to do?
pull the cord to alert the busdriver that they want to get off the bus at the HUB.
they must think the driver is fucking retarded.
some people just cant seem to see things rationally.
what am i trying to say?
you know. like... its just unneccessary for them to worry about shit like that.

good thing that bitch pulled the cord today or i would have ended up in fucking northgate or some shit.
thats all i'm sayin.

heard the stupidest shit on TV yesterday.
i rarely watch, but when i'm over at my parents, it's an exception.
anyway. that new show with damon wayans.
wife and kids, or some shit.
they be talkin about brazilian samba, and go to get dance lessons.
then damon busts out with some spanish.
um, dude... brazilians speak portuguese, thanks.
also, he talks about his wifes culo. thats ass.
...in english. shit that you'd get detention for in spanish class.
the next show that was on, george something, with a hispanic dude.
he used nalgas.
just thought it was funny.
yeah, so im retarded.

speaking of my retardedness.
last night i went to my old totem lake fred meyer with meg.
we step out and this dude busts outta the store with a blue box under his arm.
its right outside of the shoe dept, so i think he just jacked some shoes.
either way i coulda gotten his plates but was too retarded to think about that even though i knew he was stealing shit.
i head inside and tell janis, whos been there since back in my day (a very nice but slow woman) who informs me that it was actually a playstation II that he jacked.
way to be, but i woulda still liked to have gotten his plates.

seeing as how the last time with my run-in with lawbreakers didnt turn out so well for me.

the security guy at lake city fred meyer follows this dude out of the store and gets on the PA and asks for a frieght check to the front doors. meaning any and all help to get yo ass out there to help with the thief. anyway. for some reason, i'm the ONLY one who hears this. so i head out and find that hes got the dude up against a mailbox.
i ask, is there anything i can do?
he sizes me up, reaches for his phone, and gets back on the PA.
FREIGHT CHECK TO FRONT DOORS.
yeah, thanks.
i already knew i was small.
fucker.

as anyone will tell you: you don't miss something til it's gone.
but yet as any life-lesson goes,
the meaning won't truely hit you til you've realized it yourself.

life is always simpler in the past.
and even though i sometimes wish i could be back there.
i know its better to have these sorts of experiences to grow by.
i miss you still.

theres just some things that shouldnt be told to the other sex.
cuz they just wont believe that its unanimous.
meh.
i need to feed my fish.
i miss the way it used to be now and then.

because i dont do much before work, i've been doing stuff afterward.
and seeing as how that doesnt start til after 11:30,
its 5 am by the time i get to bed.
now this shit is going to smack me in the face when i have to get back into my school pattern
getting up at 730 am.
i feel a night of insomnia upon me tonight.
sux balls.

also.
heather has a chihuaua.
or however you spell the damn thing.
its smaller than my cat and its eyes are bulging out of its head.
i think a rat could kick its ass.
its scared of anything that moves.

i think last night was the first time i'd ever pet one.
well. at least one that wasnt a half-breed.

to all of those who wish me a well weekend,
fuck you,
i dont get one.

to meg:
kick some ass on the LSAT.
you own it.

conversations with the ex is so great!
cuz you don't have that "not going to get any" looming over your head,
so you dont really have to watch what you say.
i tell you, its beautiful.

talk about no days off...
school: every damn weekday.
work: friday - sat, 2:30 - close.
no life.
gay.

trip sent me this link about chickens and porn. thusly so, if you'd known me.
they call it porn 'n chicken though, cuz you know they dont wanna be messing with my TM
....or something.
anyway, so it got me thinkin.
what if i googled this shit.
well. come to find out chicken porn has me third on that shit!
why?!
i beat out porn 'n chicken which is 2 after me, and probably a lot more interesting/hilarious.
did i mention i hang out with gay people?
now thats hilarity =D

i know people read my blog.
did they check out my busy ass schedule yesterday?
the fact that i didnt get home til AFTER 1 am....

it seems that some people just have no concept of circumstance.
nor a problem with jumping to conclusions.

meg had a lot of stuff to say today.
i dont. i dont want to go there.
im sure yall have seen blog wars before.

today.
today was rough.
getting up at 730.
hauling ass from class to class.
it takes 12 minutes, not 10, goddammit.
having 1 hr to do homework in between class and work.
getting to work 20 mins early to get a bite to eat, but only to get thrown into a register.
taking only a half hr lunch cuz everybody from UW decided that lake shitty fred meyer is now the place to shop.
being the only cashier for the last hour of work.
one hour of overtime. (i guess thats a good thing)
being stupid and not getting home til after 1 am.
still being up at 147 am.
having to get up at 730 tomorrow and repeat the cycle.
oh. btw.
i also think i'm getting sick.

go me.