jaguar and other

there are four progenitors of the mayan people.
3 of them have badass jaguar names and get hitched to some other animal-named woman. the fourth, we'll you'll see. . .

1) Jaguar Quitze - married Red Sea Turtle

2) Jaguar Night - married Prawn House

3) Dark Jaguar - married Macaw House

and the last one:

4) Not Right Now - married Water Hummingbird

--bitch, what's my name?!?

--Not Right Now

--you damn right. now back the fuck off.


other funny business:
when the mayan population grew to create some 23 tribes, conflict was emminent across mexico.
so it came a time where one leader, Nobel Sweatbath set forth to mount an attack on Bearded Place.
cracks my shit up!

ok. if that one didn't get you, this is my last chance.
actually, this one is just weird.
a dude named Plumed Serpent (better known as Quetzalcoatl) reunited the Maya. to keep his rule he would show off his shamanic power to the people.
this included transforming himself into a snake, eagle, jaguar, or a puddle of blood.
that last one might be the easiest, but how undaunting. i guess bloodletting was a big thing to them though.

did i ever tell you about how leaders used to have to make bloodletting sacrifices infront of the people by running a sharkray's tail through their scrotum? then they'd burn it on the cloth it fell on to so it could go up to the heavens.
nice.