Alaska

god. everything's getting so elitist.
paper has gone by the wayside. everything's online now.
generally i would say good for them. good for not wasting our resources for one paperwork pile upon another.

but being homeless has made me realize what this is doing to everyone else. it's making it harder for people with lower income to function in society. granted many libraries have facilities that have internet connections, but that can be a hassle to smaller-town residents.

or in my case, today when i went to the anchorage library, i was met with a down-pour at the entrance. the flood-inducing rains were seeping through the windowed roof and running down through the light sockets onto the floors. light bulbs were filling, and somehow in all that drama, the internet went down.

so there i was. in a library, ready to do business, but unable. all because people (like myself) hate a paper trail.
but how am i supposed to pay tuition if i can't access the internet?!
how am i supposed to look for a job with fred meyer if all they accept now are online applications

(ok. so that's another story in and of itself. i swore i'd never go back to FM, and i told many-a-person that if i did, they could give me a swift kick to the balls to remind me how much i enjoyed the place. but seriously, looking at cost of living, or just food prices alone, have me scared. produce prices are through the roof. anything in seattle that was $5 is $6 here.
maybe it actually all comes out in the wash since there's no sales tax here, but the numbers still look daunting. i have a lot saved [not paying rent for over a year was nice] but it's still unnerving to not have even the slightest bit of steady income. so maybe if i do bite the bullet and ready myself for a nut-shot, i'll only work about 16 hrs a week. just something to counteract high food prices.)

with that said. fuck the internet. i'm being which ever Alaskan senator blamed the internet for all his problems. that's why i moved here, and that's why i'm never moving back. nepotism is alive and well here, it's the last frontier. shit still goes up here, and i'm glad to be a part of it.

on an additional note:
migration seems to be a mainstay where ever you go. being a california transplant in washington, i got shit. nearly everyone who wasn't native in seattle was from california. you know what? fuck that. everyone in california who wasn't native was from fucking mexico!
now i get up to alaska and i'm hearing the same shit. everyone who isn't from alaska is from seattle! maybe eventually i'll fuck with everyone by moving to mexico. then what are you going to tell me!?!

but i do have to say, alaska is definitely a different breed. downtown you have a few roads that look like they should be found further up in the mountains. potholes that will send you bouncing.
people take them in stride and pound right over them. if it were anywhere in the lower 48, people would piss themselves and be mad at the city for allowing such a thing to happen without red flags and construction workers giving immediate attention to the situation.

but. maybe i'll get used to this place.
or. i'll just hole myself up in my room (once i get a room) and hide until the sunlight comes back for the spring.

if anything though. this is definitely an adventure.
i was looking to get away from the monotony of my mediocre life down south. but looking back now, it may not have been so bad.
i was the king of slackers and my balls wouldn't ever freeze to my leg if i stayed out in the elements too long.

oh well. i'll become more of an independent person in this 2-year stint.
it'll be good for me. i don't really need to find myself anymore though. i think the pool did a fine job of that. i was forced out of my shell and i'm loving it.

so i guess, Alaska, bring on whatever you've got and i'll take it in stride.

oh. and to all you out there who care--i'm doing alright.
hope you're doing the same.

peace.